Healing through Performance Work

I had a wonderful rehearsal yesterday! I felt so productive and organized. Not so easy to do when you're working on a solo. I feel like I have a title developing as well, "Bardos" or "The Bardos of the Self". In a way I don't want the title to be too long but say a lot. The whole concept and title of the show is "Limbo: What happens between" which says a lot. My interpretation, especially for my piece, is that we've all been in a "limbo" in our lives--struggle, conflict, depression, joy, happiness, fear, purgatory--whether good or bad. We've felt it and experienced it. I know for the past 2 or 3 years I've been having many limbos! Now that I'm so conscious and aware of them, I'm going back to those places and playing! It's been difficult and refreshing at the same time. There's no black and white all the time. There is gray, and it's up to us to acknowledge that and just accept it.

I'm videotaping my run-throughs too that way I have sections to work with. I worked on the beginning yesterday which is very soft. It's as if my body was bouncing through nothing with no resistance and full control. Then as the 2nd track started, I started to react in different ways to the space and environment. As if the environment was like a random weather pattern-a little breezy to windy to choppy high winds. Then I would crouch down for cover and slowly walk through it all as if I was being watched. but by who? Then there is everything and everyone before me. I look down to see a mirror (face down) on the ground. I slowly pick it up with curiosity. As I turn it to my reflection, I'm horrified, and filled with fear. Is that really me? Is that the truth? What is that? Who is that? What is that person doing with their life? Those questions we ask ourselves when we're stuck in a rut. They can be so painful and intense sometimes. In my experience, they were very painful and self-judgmental. My body relives it in this piece. It's very emotional but so healing.