My Nana is dying from cancer. It could be weeks or months. She's 3000 miles away from me and yet, I'm there. I feel helpless and talking to her did help that a bit, but it really sucks when you're not there looking at the person. I cried talking to mom and then she said the most beautiful thing to me, "I'm giving you a hug right now." That made me cry even more because the connection is so strong between us and our entire family. I fee lucky to have that. It brings more ease into my body to know that my Nana has so much family around her, loving her. She's not alone.
So why do I feel alone? Simply because I am, distance-wise, far away. It's tough when that's all you focus on. Then you find yourself not drinking water or eating food, which is what happens to me when I stress. I had to remind myself to drink that water on my desk. Eat lunch! Man, going to Whole Foods I had this amazing selection of ready-to-go fresh and healthy food and I kept circling around and around and around because nothing appealed to me. Not even the fried, comfort food! My coworker is the opposite, she eats when she's stressed. Too bad you can't trade a little bit of your bad habits for someone else's bad habits at certain times. Ha!
I'm just going to take it one day at time. Just like I've been doing.
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