Mindful Choices

The Ooops!

Over the weekend, I made some "food" choices that didn't agree with me. I have a slight sensitivity to gluten, so when I overdue it with those types of food I know what to do. But I didn't think sugar would set me up for a full blown allergic reaction!

Friday night was my friend's 30th birthday. I was VERY good about spacing my drinks out and drank water; however, I made the mistake of drinking sugary, mixed drinks. Don't get me wrong they were very delicious! Fresh blueberry mojitos, mmmmmmm! I had 2 of those; an hour before those I had a mandarin vodka and sprite (that was mmmmm too). So I had a total of 3 drinks all evening, and I was the slowest drinker out of the 5 people I was with.

It was the next morning where it hit me hard, with the pulsing headache, low energy, and feeling like a bag o' bricks. I also felt dehydrated, which puzzled me for a moment because I thought I drank lots of water all evening and even more when I got home. But, of course, those drinks trick your body! By mid-late afternoon, I became super sluggish, so I rested, continued to hydrate, and ate fresh foods as meals. Although, I didn't have much of an appetite, so fluids it was.

I felt better Sunday morning and into the afternoon, but it was in the late afternoon where I made another mistake. After cat sitting in Berkeley, I headed back into the city to meet up with a friend. On the bridge, stuck in bumper to bumper traffic, I realized I was SUPER, FREAKIN' HUNGRY! When I got to the cafe where I was meeting my friend, I ordered a sandwich, which came with chips, and it was gone pretty quickly (The Oops!). An hour later, I still felt fine, and my friend and I went to visit another friend of ours. Later on, dinnertime came and where do we go? A burrito place. Of course, I'm looking at the corn taco (gluten-free), but then our friends start raving about the veggie burrito's amazing yummy-ness, so I gave in.

Bad idea!

I ate the whole thing :( Then about a 45 minutes later when I got home, I had a sneezing fit like no other. My nose clogged up, but there was nothing to blow out with a tissue. I sat on the couch, miserable, started to scold myself for eating what I ate. Lots of judgment there, but I said to myself, "hey, ya made a mistake eating that burrito. Oh well. Let's be extra mindful with our eating this week."

I realized the sugary drinks from Friday set me up for this reaction, as well as staying up late, hence, the lack of sleep. It lowered my immunity big time, and now I need to detox and cleanse.

The solution? Gluten-free diet this week! Also, no alcohol and no processed sugar. I'm eating fresh foods, Amazing Grass Green Superfood, nothing processed, for the rest of week. It doesn't help that I'm going to a wedding this weekend, but at least I know I can do something about it now and be more mindful about what I drink and what I eat.

The Insight
We all fall back on our vices and bad habits. It's okay, as long as we're aware of it. If we know something isn't good for us, we can really start to inquire within and begin to make more mindful choices around the behavior we want to change.

So when you encounter whatever vice/habit it is that may create discomfort or imbalance in your body (caffeine, sugary foods, nicotine, drama, etc) take a moment to pause;

-Take a deep breath;

-Notice how your body feels at the moment;

-Track all sensations in the body

Once you've taken that moment (and believe me it only takes a moment!), then make your choice, BUT without judgment. If you start to judge yourself, be with it. What are the emotions around the judgment? It can be uncomfortable, but if you want to make a change in your lifestyle, it's about confronting and acknowledging what comes up. Ask for support from a friend or health practitioner. You don't have to do it alone. There are others who feel the same way, and struggle with their own bad habits. Be the change you want to be.

Taking a time-out

I know I've probably blogged about this in the past, but it's come up again, and it must be acknowledged.

I had gotten back into the habit of overloading my schedule. The alarm that went off was my low-energy, and being too-tired-to-do-the-fun-things-I-want-to-do! I have to thank my husband for pointing this out to. Thank you, Joe! I love you!

I really don't know why I fell back into the habit/pattern again. I began putting too high of expectations onto myself to get things done. I overestimated my time and energy because I was so happy with completing my massage program. Although, I have finished all my classroom hours and more than half of my clinic hours, it made me want to be Speedy Gonzalez about it! I'm not young nor old for that matter, but my pace in certain areas have changed and I need to honor that. I still work the 9-5 M-F job, and I need to decompress from that as well.

But I find it interesting that there was this part of me resisting to step back. This "old" part of me saying, "If you stop doing it, you're a failure"; "If you take a break, you'll lose the skills you learned"; "There's not enough time, so I should just quit." In the past, I used to think that was true, but now, it's total BULLSHIT! Thank you chatter for sharing all that! My conscious self distinguished it from what is really true, that there's plenty of time; I'm completing the program in a healthy way; and I am a great teacher and massage therapist! Of course, in the moment, it was confusing me when I was hearing this chatter because I really knew it wasn't true in my heart.

It's difficult to bring yourself out of the negative. I'm so grateful for the support I have around me because I really couldn't have done it without them. Sometimes you need that certain person to put it to another way, and BOOM! It all makes sense. I'm grateful for my yoga and meditation practice because it allowed to go inside myself, where the answers are. I feel a more sense of ease in my body; grounded; and compassion.

I create my path.

far away and not

My Nana is dying from cancer.  It could be weeks or months.  She's 3000 miles away from me and yet, I'm there.  I feel helpless and talking to her did help that a bit, but it really sucks when you're not there looking at the person.  I cried talking to mom and then she said the most beautiful thing to me, "I'm giving you a hug right now."  That made me cry even more because the connection is so strong between us and our entire family.  I fee lucky to have that. It brings more ease into my body to know that my Nana has so much family around her, loving her.  She's not alone. 

So why do I feel alone?  Simply because I am, distance-wise, far away.  It's tough when that's all you focus on.  Then you find yourself not drinking water or eating food, which is what happens to me when I stress.  I had to remind myself to drink that water on my desk.  Eat lunch!  Man, going to Whole Foods I had this amazing selection of ready-to-go fresh and healthy food and I kept circling around and around and around because nothing appealed to me. Not even the fried, comfort food! My coworker is the opposite, she eats when she's stressed.  Too bad you can't trade a little bit of your bad habits for someone else's bad habits at certain times. Ha!

I'm just going to take it one day at time. Just like I've been doing.