I was reading about my astrological sign yesterday, Gemini. One of the traits was something about boredom because Mercury is one of its ruling planets. I don't know much about astrology, but it made sense in some weird, cosmic way.
Yesterday, sitting at my desk, I was struggling. Not at a "work" task. Just, in general, struggling. I was uneasy, restless, bored, frustrated and angry. Thank God I work with a wonderful individual, who was able to help ease that tension. After clearing some chatter and identifying my needs under those feelings, the tension level went from a 10 to a 3-4. I'm happy that I have the tools to support myself when needed. But those feelings lingered on into the afternoon. It may not have been as intense, but it was still hanging around. I found relief talking with my therapist. I realized I haven't really dealt with my money stories yet. My relationship with money. There's been this ongoing theme around money that tends to visit me every 3 months or so. It's usually VERY unexpected, and hits me HARD with all sorts of emotions. So my therapy session yesterday helped me realize that I need to fess up to this ongoing theme. It's like a virus that you think you wiped out, but really it just gestates and hangs out in your body somewhere, until "that something" triggers it, and BOOM! It's back. Or it's like that on-again-off-again boyfriend/girlfriend, who you keep going back to and you don't know why. They just keep showing up in some way. It's at this point where you say to yourself, "What is going on and why are you back?"
Frankly, I'm done with my theme! It's a bad relationship that has to end. I'm ready to move with the fear to move past it. I'm going to see what my unconscious has to tell me. Our unconscious is always telling us something in our dreams. Maybe it's time to pay attention. So why are you back?
....stay tuned.
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