Why are you back?

I was reading about my astrological sign yesterday, Gemini.  One of the traits was something about boredom because Mercury is one of its ruling planets. I don't know much about astrology, but it made sense in some weird, cosmic way. 

Yesterday, sitting at my desk, I was struggling.  Not at a "work" task. Just, in general, struggling.  I was uneasy, restless, bored, frustrated and angry.  Thank God I work with a wonderful individual, who was able to help ease that tension.  After clearing some chatter and identifying my needs under those feelings, the tension level went from a 10 to a 3-4.  I'm happy that I have the tools to support myself when needed.  But those feelings lingered on into the afternoon. It may not have been as intense, but it was still hanging around.  I found relief talking with my therapist.  I realized I haven't really dealt with my money stories yet.  My relationship with money. There's been this ongoing theme around money that tends to visit me every 3 months or so.  It's usually VERY unexpected, and hits me HARD with all sorts of emotions.  So my therapy session yesterday helped me realize that I need to fess up to this ongoing theme. It's like a virus that you think you wiped out, but really it just gestates and hangs out in your body somewhere, until "that something" triggers it, and BOOM! It's back.  Or it's like that on-again-off-again boyfriend/girlfriend, who you keep going back to and you don't know why. They just keep showing up in some way.  It's at this point where you say to yourself, "What is going on and why are you back?"

Frankly, I'm done with my theme! It's a bad relationship that has to end.  I'm ready to move with the fear to move past it.  I'm going to see what my unconscious has to tell me.  Our unconscious is always telling us something in our dreams. Maybe it's time to pay attention.  So why are you back?

....stay tuned.

Body Themes

We all have something going on with our bodies one way or another.  Whether it's a new or old injury, or it's something that just cracks, creaks or pops, it happens to all of us. 

After I taught my Lunchtime Yoga class today, one my students (also a friend and colleague) mentioned how she was challenged in one of the poses we did, which is called Parivrtta Janu Sirsasana (revolved head-of-knee pose. pictured).

As you can see, the hip of the bend knee is getting a nice opening and that side of the trunk is getting a nice opening and length.  She continued to talk about how her left hip has been having "stuff" going on there for a bit, both physically and emotionally. In fact, she has had some emotional release from bodywork in that area.  Our bodies have an amazing way of telling us things, and they can be mysterious, frustrating, and down right, painful.  I'm calling it Body Themes because, to me, it's a way we describe something about our bodies.  So what's the theme?  Is my friend's hip trying to tell her something?  Has she buried some old stuff there that's not serving her anymore? When did it start?

I can totally relate to this because I've done some healing around body themes as well.  For example, over the past year, I had been working on some digestive projects (sounds better than problems) and I came to realize that I hold a lot of my emotions down in my belly.  My symptoms would be bloating, constipation, cramping, etc. The belly/abdomen is our power center, or the solar plexus.  It's where are power, creativity and assertiveness comes from. In the past, making decisions or having a voice wasn't always a strong point in my life, so whatever emotions (fear, anger, sadness) I was feeling I would bury in my belly.  When I started acknowledging this area of my body, the healing began.  I was receiving bodywork/energy work and a lot of anger came up around this area of my body (and it wasn't the first time this came up in a bodywork session).  I began screaming and crying, allowing myself to feel that anger, wherever, whenever and whatever it was from.  Then I started breathing into it, instead of constricting around it.  Afterward, I felt so much softness and space in my belly.  In addition to that, my digestion improved! My constipation went away, my belly went down and no more cramping.

So I knew I had let go of some "stuff" that wasn't serving me anymore. My body was done holding onto that. I know this theme, the belly/abdomen can come up.  But I know now that when I start to experience those symptoms, I can bring attention and awareness there and ask myself, "what's coming up for me right now?"  "Was it something I ate?" "Was it something that person said?" "Does it feel like old stuff?"

It's important and healthy for us to feel what we feel.  To breathe with and into it, instead of resisting or constricting around it.  What is your body theme? Remember, to be gentle with yourself.  Sometimes we are not ready to go there yet.  Be patient, compassionate and loving.