I AM Worthy!

A statement such as the title of this post was never in my language at a time. In the past, I believed that I didn't deserve anything better. I believed that I was selfish for wanting more or something else than what I already had. Now, the more I'm grateful for what I have, MORE shows up! I believe we all deserve what we want, and if we want more, so be it!

I was inspired to write this post from a blog I follow called The Daily Love. The author/owner talks about how if we believe we aren't worthy or deserving of better things for our life (in relationships, health, career, etc.) , it can prevent us from moving forward toward how we want to be and live. It's all about owning your power, but most importantly, REMEMBERING that we have our own power. The power to choose and love whoever and whatever you want to do with your life. The power to CHANGE anything in the moment.

I am experiencing growth in my healing business. I asked for it, and the best part is that I'm receiving it and enjoying it. I catch the chatter when it says, "you don't deserve it" or "I'm not strong enough, so I can't handle it". When I hear that in the background, I know it's those old patterns and ways of being. I know that it's not ME. It's old stories that I picked up or learned over the years. I know of many times when I tried something new because I wanted to do it, and did it. When there are stumbles along the way, I know, now, to keep going. How are we going to know , if we don't try? Who cares what others think! Isn't it about what you/I/we want?

These are the experiences that feed our mind, body and spirit. They shakes us up, to wake us up! Aaahh, now that's refreshing!

What do you do to shake up your life?

If any of this (even a little bit) resonates with you, I invite to read more of the post on The Daily Love here.

Dreams can shake you up

 I dreamed last night that there was an earthquake.  Joe and I were at a football game (somewhere in SF) and the magnitude was so strong.  I could feel it, that my eyes were shaking.  When it stopped, we started to leave.  Workers were tending to dangling wires in the building/stadium, and even out on the street.  For some reason, the buses were still running, so Joe and I got on one to go home.  Then there was an aftershock, which caused the bus to bend in half and pop out again.  After that stopped, the bus continued through the city. All the buildings were slanted at an angle, going in the same direction.  The waves on the beach were huge, but not so huge that they crashed onto the city.  As we rode the bus, I was worried about our cats in the apt. People were sitting outside of their apt buildings, as merchants were outside their businesses.  I never got home before I woke up.  I was very unsettled this morning about that dream.  Then I looked up "earthquakes" on www.dreammoods.com and used their dream dictionary. This is what I got:

"Earthquake
To dream of an earthquake, suggests that you are experiencing a major "shake-up" that is threatening your stability and foundation. The dream highlights your insecurity, fears and sense of helplessness. Is there something in your life that you feel at "fault" for?

If you find cover from the quake, you will overcome these challenges. If you become trapped or injured during the quake, you will suffer some sort of loss in your life. According to the bible, earthquakes symbolize God's anger and power."

It definitely resonates a bit with me.  I'm grateful that no one was hurt or killed in the dream.  For the next couple of weeks, things are going to get busy for me--performance preparation/rehearsals, class make-ups, other obligations.  Perhaps it's that premeditated anxiety that I'm going to feel.  But, instead of thinking of the worst, I'm going to take this as a reminder.  A reminder to breath and take care of myself when I need to.  To be in the moment, especially when things get hard.  I know I will overcome these challenges.  

Body Themes

We all have something going on with our bodies one way or another.  Whether it's a new or old injury, or it's something that just cracks, creaks or pops, it happens to all of us. 

After I taught my Lunchtime Yoga class today, one my students (also a friend and colleague) mentioned how she was challenged in one of the poses we did, which is called Parivrtta Janu Sirsasana (revolved head-of-knee pose. pictured).

As you can see, the hip of the bend knee is getting a nice opening and that side of the trunk is getting a nice opening and length.  She continued to talk about how her left hip has been having "stuff" going on there for a bit, both physically and emotionally. In fact, she has had some emotional release from bodywork in that area.  Our bodies have an amazing way of telling us things, and they can be mysterious, frustrating, and down right, painful.  I'm calling it Body Themes because, to me, it's a way we describe something about our bodies.  So what's the theme?  Is my friend's hip trying to tell her something?  Has she buried some old stuff there that's not serving her anymore? When did it start?

I can totally relate to this because I've done some healing around body themes as well.  For example, over the past year, I had been working on some digestive projects (sounds better than problems) and I came to realize that I hold a lot of my emotions down in my belly.  My symptoms would be bloating, constipation, cramping, etc. The belly/abdomen is our power center, or the solar plexus.  It's where are power, creativity and assertiveness comes from. In the past, making decisions or having a voice wasn't always a strong point in my life, so whatever emotions (fear, anger, sadness) I was feeling I would bury in my belly.  When I started acknowledging this area of my body, the healing began.  I was receiving bodywork/energy work and a lot of anger came up around this area of my body (and it wasn't the first time this came up in a bodywork session).  I began screaming and crying, allowing myself to feel that anger, wherever, whenever and whatever it was from.  Then I started breathing into it, instead of constricting around it.  Afterward, I felt so much softness and space in my belly.  In addition to that, my digestion improved! My constipation went away, my belly went down and no more cramping.

So I knew I had let go of some "stuff" that wasn't serving me anymore. My body was done holding onto that. I know this theme, the belly/abdomen can come up.  But I know now that when I start to experience those symptoms, I can bring attention and awareness there and ask myself, "what's coming up for me right now?"  "Was it something I ate?" "Was it something that person said?" "Does it feel like old stuff?"

It's important and healthy for us to feel what we feel.  To breathe with and into it, instead of resisting or constricting around it.  What is your body theme? Remember, to be gentle with yourself.  Sometimes we are not ready to go there yet.  Be patient, compassionate and loving.