Everyday this week I have kept wondering when I can practice or go to a yoga class. For some reason it's just been hard. I feel it started from when I was medical leave. Since I had to take it easy, I completely let myself. Then when I got medically cleared to exercise and resume activities, I took baby steps with lots of walks and gentle yoga. then I go back to work, life, school and then there's no time! How did I do it before? I was practicing quite well and consistently. So what happened?
I also have been on a wheat/gluten cleanse this week, so preparing and cooking my meals is priority. I find myself in situations where I'm gonna practice yoga and then I get interrupted. By the time I'm done dealing with whatever interruption it was, it's close to dinnertime so I bag the exercise for the next day. So why can't i just get up early and do it? Well, I know me. I'm stiffer in the morning and I cherish the time I have in bed with my husband. Just laying there and taking my time to wake up is so nice and special. If I didn't have to work 9-5, I could practice in the morning (that's the mind chatter ranting). so why can't i just quit my day job? because you have bills to pay (that's so very true right now. got debt to leverage and minimize).
it's this vicious cycle of "why can't I" and "because this and that" patterns. I know what I have to do and I'm clear about it. Yes, I don't always want to do it, but I do. It's a paradox and so contradictory I want to scream!