Stories

I'm amazed at how many stories I have about people, things, places, and myself. It's interesting how you create a story about why something is so and it follows you through your life. A story could have been created when you were a child because whatever was happening at that time, you only had so many ways to make sense of it. Then as you got older, the stories manifested into something else. Most of the time, not in such a healthy way. My current story that keeps haunting me is "I don't belong" and "No one likes me." I know deep down, consciously, that it's not true. So why does it keep showing up. What have I NOT resolved here? This story shows up in most areas of my life: work, teaching, performance. It comes up in performance when an application I submit doesn't get accepted; or at work when everyone goes out to lunch without asking me, even though I work with them. It's hard not to play the blame-game. Again, I know they're not bad people, and I try to JUST accept it, but if it goes deep and triggers emotion, I'm sorry! You all suck!

I have to laugh because I'm curious as to why this keeps showing up in my life. I'm trying to learn why. I REALLY AM!!!!!!! Sometimes I don't want to, and would just like some peace about it. There's that saying (and book), "Don't sweat the small stuff". But what I learned in my coaching program and from therapy sessions, if something charges you that much, pay attention to it! Especially if you get emotional.

I really am SOOOO done with it.

Getting It Done and Celebration

So I fulfilled my declaration from yesterday's blog entry:  "I DECLARE that I'm going to ship the yoga notebooks back to my mom's by the end of this week."  I just got back from the post office and it will be on its way to mom's house soon.  I really want to celebrate this because it may sound little, but it was HUGE for me!

My theme this week has been all about getting-it-done.  I have big, medium and small goals to work towards and I'm taking baby steps toward them.  It feels so good to actually be present for this one.  Shipping that box to my mom is a step within a big step and that big step is moving back to the east coast next year.  My husband and I said to each other that we will ship things back gradually, so we don't have to worry about driving with a lot of possessions (yep, road trip west to east coast).  So I'm glad I started with that box.

The next goal/declaration of mine, that's in progress,  is that I want to start seeing two massage clients per week.  When this came to my mind a couple days ago, I began researching online for inexpensive/rent-by-the-hour massage spaces.  I even posted a request on my facebook status.  To my excitement and delight, a fellow massage therapist responded and told me she has space at her spa! I'll be meeting with her tomorrow after work to check it out and talk with her.  I had also placed a call to another place, but I haven't heard back from them. But that was my first attempt and the second attempt got me a response! 

As I continue to take baby steps toward my goals, desires, aspirations, and purpose, I realize how important it is to celebrate each step as you go.  Don't downplay the fact that it was so small such as, "It was just a phone call and I only left message." So what?! It's an action step and it's a step FORWARD!  Be conscious in your creation!  Take a moment and feel the good feelings in your body.  If it doesn't feel good, then you know that it's not in alignment with your purpose/goal.  Believe that you will get there.  Believe with each baby step you take, and then CELEBRATE!