Experiencing the Three Realms of Consciousness

I attended a yoga workshop with yoga teacher, Seane Corn, this weekend. I've taken workshops with her before, so I knew what I was getting into. I always get inspired from her workshops, podcasts, and other email blasts she may send out. However, each time I attend a workshop, I discover more about myself.

She talked about the Three Realms of Consciousness and how it can be applied to your yoga practice, specifically Vinyasa style, but any style will work. The Three Realms are:
1) Physical/Mental
2) Emotional/Energetic
3) Spiritual/Symbolic

The physical/mental is utilized in the physical practice of yoga, where one takes the time to understand their limitations in the poses; the benefits of the sequence of poses; and an awareness of alignment, so you're not just "dumping" into the poses. Once you've worked the body, the emotional/energetic aspect of the practice emerges. This occurs when, after moving and stretching the physical body (muscles, bones, connective tissues, etc.), old memories, traumas, experiences can be released. The spiritual/symbolic, to me, is different for everyone. It's that time when you make the "connection." You "get it." You may realize, Wow! I can let that go and take my power back. You connect with your intuition, the essence of who you are.

There were many things that came up for me, but mostly self-inquiry. It's something that has come up for me in the past, but I used to ignore it because I felt ashamed or a failure. The questions that arose, "Why do I practice yoga?" "Why do I teach it?" "What draws me to the practice?" "Why did I start yoga?' and "Am I open to being in the present, or do I shutdown?"

I don't have any answers, but these are great! Like I said before, I used to feel ashamed or a failure for thinking these things because it was those "times" when teaching yoga, I was not present. I was just moving through the motions because I thought I "had to." I went through a 500 hour yoga teacher training, I SHOULD teach!

So when these questions came up during the workshop, I felt grounded. I felt more open and willing to be with the inquiry and the emotions that came up. I felt okay. and this was huge for me.

We also delved into the Seven Chakra (energy centers) of the body. For me, this is where it all came together. It's amazing what you can find out about yourself when you apply this body of knowledge with yoga. For instance, tight or pain in the hips may be due to a block in the 1st or 2nd chakras (survival, relationships, sexuality, fear, abandonment issues). One of the best books to reference the chakras is Eastern Body Western Mind by Anodea Judith. Although, she doesn't apply it to yoga specifically, it's an amazing journey to understanding and having more compassion for yourself.

I'm going to stop for now, but I plan to continue a more deeper inquiry each time I practice yoga. Utilizing these three realms of consciousness and the chakras, I feel simple self-inquiry can take us a long way, even if the question is "what do I want to do?"

Emotional Storage Space

Last week, I received some bodywork/energy work and had an emotional release during the session. I felt better, but it didn't last. The very next day my throat started getting sore. I felt fine otherwise; no fever, or other cold-like symptoms. I decided to just watch it and see what happens.

The week went on, the sore throat got worse, but still, no other symptoms. I came to one conclusion that this was more energetic/emotional than an actual microbial infection. I was having memories from middle school; the sixth grade. I had reoccurring tonsilitis; and my parents just got divorce. I know at the time I was storing a lot of anger and grief about that, and at the time, didn't know how to express it. But now I'm so much more aware and have the tools to support me with expressing my emotions and needs. I know as an eleven year old, I was needing some understanding!

Then I received a lymphatic massage session on Saturday, which drew me to my other conclusion. I felt LOTS of stuff move, and even felt nausea for a moment. Also, every time my practitioner worked on my left hip side (pelvic/ovary area), which is a lymph node station, my body would tense and resist. Afterward, I received some coaching, which was really nice. I got clear on some other things I've been holding on to. I've held a lot of fear in my pelvis. Fear of being feminine. Fear of my intuition. Fear of my power. My practitioner pointed out to me that I could be going through a mini-death; a transition from an old way of being to a new way of being: Being a mother. In the past, I used to hold a lot of fear around being a mom and being pregnant. My chatter was, "how can I take care of someone else, when I can't even take care of myself?", "I'm too screwed up to be mom", or "I wouldn't be a good mom because I don't take care of myself or my relationships." I know I'm not the only one who has this chatter. I realize now that a lot of women have the same fears.

I want to be more aware and committed to nurturing this part of myself. I want to acknowledge that old way of being and embrace, accept and love the new way of being. I feel it in my body that I want to have a baby. It feels joyful, happy, and my right.

According to Anodea Judith's book, "Eastern Body, Western Mind", she explains the seven chakra centers as our seven rights. Since this past week was about my 2nd and 5th, the 2nd chakra (lower abdomen/pelvis) is the right to feel; and the 5th chakra (throat area/mouth) is the right to speak. In the past, there were many reasons why I didn't feel/think I had the right to feel or speak up for myself or express my emotions. But now I want to celebrate them! I want to move that energy in a positive, healthy way. I'm done with storing and hiding it away. I want it to be present.

Do you have a storage space in your body?

Stories

I'm amazed at how many stories I have about people, things, places, and myself. It's interesting how you create a story about why something is so and it follows you through your life. A story could have been created when you were a child because whatever was happening at that time, you only had so many ways to make sense of it. Then as you got older, the stories manifested into something else. Most of the time, not in such a healthy way. My current story that keeps haunting me is "I don't belong" and "No one likes me." I know deep down, consciously, that it's not true. So why does it keep showing up. What have I NOT resolved here? This story shows up in most areas of my life: work, teaching, performance. It comes up in performance when an application I submit doesn't get accepted; or at work when everyone goes out to lunch without asking me, even though I work with them. It's hard not to play the blame-game. Again, I know they're not bad people, and I try to JUST accept it, but if it goes deep and triggers emotion, I'm sorry! You all suck!

I have to laugh because I'm curious as to why this keeps showing up in my life. I'm trying to learn why. I REALLY AM!!!!!!! Sometimes I don't want to, and would just like some peace about it. There's that saying (and book), "Don't sweat the small stuff". But what I learned in my coaching program and from therapy sessions, if something charges you that much, pay attention to it! Especially if you get emotional.

I really am SOOOO done with it.

Emotional Cleanse and De-cluttering

It's amazing how we have emotional cleanses sporadically.  I woke up yesterday feeling rather stressed. I was obsessing about money and having all sorts of mind chatter about it.  As I left for work, I began to focus on my breath and the good things in my life. Poof! it went away and i had myself a great day.

But it was after work that something began to brew; to build up; to clog up. Then I found myself in a super-duper funk. My husband asked if it was something he did and I just said, "Nope, I'm just in a funk now." Five minutes after he left for rugby practice, I burst into tears and it was my WHOLE BODY bursting into tears.  I just let it happen. I didn't question why I was crying.  I didn't judge myself.  I just let it be.  I, then preceded to vacuum my apartment (it needed to be done anyway), but I did it with such vigor and purpose.  Then I looked at a particular bookshelf that was beginning to be overly cluttered.  I had wanted to do something about it for awhile now, I was just procrastinating.  I decided to de-clutter a section of it and ended up doing two sections of it.  I was amazed at how much paper I held on to. A lot of it was from my Yoga Teacher Training program, which I wanted to keep but didn't really use it. So I bagged it up, put it aside and will ship by the end of this week.  Wait. I DECLARE that I'm going to ship the yoga notebooks back to my mom's by the end of this week.  Also, I was entralled by the amount of paper I was throwing/recycling away.  It created so much space just in that area overall.

Once this was complete, I felt refreshed and light.  I sprayed an essential oil throughout the apartment and around the bookshelf called Purification, which has a lot of cleansing and disinfecting  properties.  Then I took a bath and soaked for about 20 minutes, meditating and reflecting on the events that took place.  We really can hold a lot of shit in our bodies and in our homes!

I suggest reading "Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui" by Karen Kingston.  I had to read this for Lymphatic massage class and I ended up pulling it out last night.  A lot of what happens to us can be a reflection of how we set up our living spaces and the amount of "stuff" we collect. I would love to get a Feng Shui consultant to come to my place sometime.  It's all so very interesting. 

So, what are you holding onto? What possessions in your home do you just stuff in any place? Do you pile it behind doors? in the entry way? underneath sinks? in cabinets? basement? attics? Now, when you actually do inquiry about this, notice how you feel.