Experiencing the Three Realms of Consciousness

I attended a yoga workshop with yoga teacher, Seane Corn, this weekend. I've taken workshops with her before, so I knew what I was getting into. I always get inspired from her workshops, podcasts, and other email blasts she may send out. However, each time I attend a workshop, I discover more about myself.

She talked about the Three Realms of Consciousness and how it can be applied to your yoga practice, specifically Vinyasa style, but any style will work. The Three Realms are:
1) Physical/Mental
2) Emotional/Energetic
3) Spiritual/Symbolic

The physical/mental is utilized in the physical practice of yoga, where one takes the time to understand their limitations in the poses; the benefits of the sequence of poses; and an awareness of alignment, so you're not just "dumping" into the poses. Once you've worked the body, the emotional/energetic aspect of the practice emerges. This occurs when, after moving and stretching the physical body (muscles, bones, connective tissues, etc.), old memories, traumas, experiences can be released. The spiritual/symbolic, to me, is different for everyone. It's that time when you make the "connection." You "get it." You may realize, Wow! I can let that go and take my power back. You connect with your intuition, the essence of who you are.

There were many things that came up for me, but mostly self-inquiry. It's something that has come up for me in the past, but I used to ignore it because I felt ashamed or a failure. The questions that arose, "Why do I practice yoga?" "Why do I teach it?" "What draws me to the practice?" "Why did I start yoga?' and "Am I open to being in the present, or do I shutdown?"

I don't have any answers, but these are great! Like I said before, I used to feel ashamed or a failure for thinking these things because it was those "times" when teaching yoga, I was not present. I was just moving through the motions because I thought I "had to." I went through a 500 hour yoga teacher training, I SHOULD teach!

So when these questions came up during the workshop, I felt grounded. I felt more open and willing to be with the inquiry and the emotions that came up. I felt okay. and this was huge for me.

We also delved into the Seven Chakra (energy centers) of the body. For me, this is where it all came together. It's amazing what you can find out about yourself when you apply this body of knowledge with yoga. For instance, tight or pain in the hips may be due to a block in the 1st or 2nd chakras (survival, relationships, sexuality, fear, abandonment issues). One of the best books to reference the chakras is Eastern Body Western Mind by Anodea Judith. Although, she doesn't apply it to yoga specifically, it's an amazing journey to understanding and having more compassion for yourself.

I'm going to stop for now, but I plan to continue a more deeper inquiry each time I practice yoga. Utilizing these three realms of consciousness and the chakras, I feel simple self-inquiry can take us a long way, even if the question is "what do I want to do?"

Emotional Storage Space

Last week, I received some bodywork/energy work and had an emotional release during the session. I felt better, but it didn't last. The very next day my throat started getting sore. I felt fine otherwise; no fever, or other cold-like symptoms. I decided to just watch it and see what happens.

The week went on, the sore throat got worse, but still, no other symptoms. I came to one conclusion that this was more energetic/emotional than an actual microbial infection. I was having memories from middle school; the sixth grade. I had reoccurring tonsilitis; and my parents just got divorce. I know at the time I was storing a lot of anger and grief about that, and at the time, didn't know how to express it. But now I'm so much more aware and have the tools to support me with expressing my emotions and needs. I know as an eleven year old, I was needing some understanding!

Then I received a lymphatic massage session on Saturday, which drew me to my other conclusion. I felt LOTS of stuff move, and even felt nausea for a moment. Also, every time my practitioner worked on my left hip side (pelvic/ovary area), which is a lymph node station, my body would tense and resist. Afterward, I received some coaching, which was really nice. I got clear on some other things I've been holding on to. I've held a lot of fear in my pelvis. Fear of being feminine. Fear of my intuition. Fear of my power. My practitioner pointed out to me that I could be going through a mini-death; a transition from an old way of being to a new way of being: Being a mother. In the past, I used to hold a lot of fear around being a mom and being pregnant. My chatter was, "how can I take care of someone else, when I can't even take care of myself?", "I'm too screwed up to be mom", or "I wouldn't be a good mom because I don't take care of myself or my relationships." I know I'm not the only one who has this chatter. I realize now that a lot of women have the same fears.

I want to be more aware and committed to nurturing this part of myself. I want to acknowledge that old way of being and embrace, accept and love the new way of being. I feel it in my body that I want to have a baby. It feels joyful, happy, and my right.

According to Anodea Judith's book, "Eastern Body, Western Mind", she explains the seven chakra centers as our seven rights. Since this past week was about my 2nd and 5th, the 2nd chakra (lower abdomen/pelvis) is the right to feel; and the 5th chakra (throat area/mouth) is the right to speak. In the past, there were many reasons why I didn't feel/think I had the right to feel or speak up for myself or express my emotions. But now I want to celebrate them! I want to move that energy in a positive, healthy way. I'm done with storing and hiding it away. I want it to be present.

Do you have a storage space in your body?

Body tells mind, mind tells body

It's like the yin and yang, back and forth, infinity. In regards to my previous post, a lot came up for me around my 2nd chakra. It's where the reproductive organs are, sexual energy live and breathe. It's an area that I've had trauma and for a long period of time never felt good about. I know in the past, I stored ex-boyfriends there, which resulted in a lot of negative energy and self-hatred in this area. While sitting in my therapy session last week, my therapist had me check in with myself around this area. My therapist does a lot of somatic work which has been so beneficial for me in my journey. When she asked me to do this, it was like my mind said no and my body said yes. I began to speak and feel more from my body then with my head. I realized how much I wanted to completely shut myself off from my 2nd chakra, my hips, my womb, my feminine. All my body could feel was ugly, gross, dirty, unhealthy. However, I knew in my mind that this wasn't true, but my body felt it. I, then realized, this was my body talking. Talking of old feelings and beliefs that I once told myself and this area. My higher conscious wanted to disconnect, but there was a struggle to hold on. To wait. To want. To love.

Being able to love this area is very difficult for me and for a lot of people. Do we really take the time to acknowledge ourselves and say I love you? For me, there hasn't been much love in this area. In the past year, it's certainly grown more, but since the a new project has occurred in this area, these past beliefs have been triggered. They still live in there, even though I firmly believe they're not true. It's interesting what can come up and out.

Over the weekend, I had some emotional release from this area. During the Yoga Journal conference, I cried in all 3 sessions I took. One of the workshop sessions was about chakra purification (how appropriate!), the second was integrating yin yoga and the third was about prayer and empowerment. All the yoga we did was hip openers. It was as if the universe guided me to register for these workshops. And/or my body guided me toward these themes because it's what it needed. It sure did. I've begun to realize there's no such thing as accidents. Things happen for a reason whether we like it or not. People come into our lives for a reason whether we love them or not. What's the universe trying to tell us when these things happen? What innate force is pulling us towards them or them towards us? We are beings of creation and we strive for love in everything and everyone. It's time to wake up. I believe it's a year of awakening.

Neck and Shoulder Projects

I have been doing my best to not get down or negative about it. But I did something to my left neck and shoulder area. There's definitely some space to create there I just seem to diminish it. A few weeks back, I was at the gym doing arm stuff and it started after that. Then I got a massage that day and I feel like it made it worse. However, within a week, the inflammation starts to go down. But when I do arm stuff at the gym that seems to aggravate it.

So I'm thinking that I need to lay off the arm stuff because it's possible I did something incorrect with the weights.

However, being a Holistic Health Practitioner, I know there's "other" stuff going on. Some old, buried emotions and traumas that aren't serving me anymore. I got some support from friends and colleagues about it and even my therapist. We did an exercise around this project and I had a release in our session. I realize how hard it is to really love myself and be gentle with myself around time. I've always had stuff going on in my 3rd and 4th chakras (solar plexus and heart chakras). Feelings of powerlessness around time and anger toward myself. Lately, I've just been feeling like there's not enough time or I'm not giving time to myself. It's like I've forgotten. Then I feel like I have to rush to get somewhere, even though I know for a fact I have hours to get there or do it.

After we did this exercise, I felt more space in that area and throughout my body. It's like my circulatory system undid a clog! I'm taking an anti-inflammatory during the day at least to help me through the day, but I don't like taking those things for too long. I may go to my acupuncturist and see what he says.

Also being a yoga teacher can put some strain on it, but I've chosen to not practice many arm weight-bearing poses for a couple weeks. Maybe some gentle stretches to release whatever's going on there. I'm just working on giving the area as much love as possible. And love to myself.