What a powerful emotion. I've been in the thick of it for the past few days, and it does what it usually does: bouncing back and forth to sadness. So many things have surfaced from my past, I don't know if it's just random memories or things that were unresolved that I need to resolve with myself or with that person I wronged in some way. I know you can't forgive someone, unless you forgive yourself first. It's SOOOOO HARD! I feel I'm close, but then something fogs up my vision and I fall back to that dark place. Depression.
It's very draining. I'm so aware of my emotions and where they're coming from. It's hard to articulate that to people sometimes, especially those close to you. Although, I can't control how others react, I still want them to know that I'm JUST angry and it's nothing on them.
Right now, I feel so done with this (as stated in my previous post) because it's so draining. In the past, I used to hold lots of anger inside my body, which came out in not so great ways. Now that my body has let go of that strategy, the emotion has to come out! Of course this is a good thing and I would much rather have it this way.
I guess my drainage is from the fluctuations from anger to sadness over and over. In my experience, sadness has always followed anger, and vice versa. Lately, it's been bouncing off each other like a raquetball gone wild in the court. When will that ball slow down? What's setting it off? Last night before falling asleep, all these memories of an ex-boyfriend came into my conscious. He was my first love, and when he broke up with me, I was so heart-broken I really felt lost. I couldn't stop caling him, and when I would see him, I was a total bitch. I was only 14 at the time and he was 17. He was so sweet to me in our relationship, even up until he broke up with me. He had no direction, no goals, and he had just graduated high school. He didn't want to hold me back. Although he explained it to me at the time, I couldn't help but think it was me. Something was wrong with me. I personalized it and blamed myself, which, OMG! I pretty much did in every relationship after that! HA HA! LOL!
Wow, it's amazing what writing can do :-)
I know this connects to a lot of things I'm still processing and working through. I'm shedding the layers; releasing things that don't serve me anymore. It's grief. Grief over losses in my life that had left me confused, lost, and uncertain. It still amazes me how one little thing can trigger such a big thing inside you. How it can take you back to the source, the cause, the root. This makes me think about Buddhism and the concept of suffering (but I'm not going to go there right now).
Seriously, Wow! It's amazing what writing can do.
Showing posts with label forgive. Show all posts
Showing posts with label forgive. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Five Ways to Make More Time for Yoga
I had to share this wonderful information from a blog I follow; in fact it's a great reminder to myself that I really can practice yoga ANYWHERE! A little really does go a long way, and if you keep up with it, you'll find yourself practicing yoga a little longer each time.
Enjoy and be well!
From: Top Five Tuesdays
5 Ways to Make More Time for Yoga
September 14, 2010
by Erica Rodefer Winters
1. Write It In Your Calendar, To-Do List, (And Set an Alarm!) In my experience, when something becomes a habit it's easier to stick to. So if you want to be at yoga class every Tuesday at 6 pm, have your computer or phone send you a reminder at 4:30, and again at 5, and 5:15. And don't let anything else get in the way!
2. Expand Your View of What Yoga Is. If you feel like you don't get enough yoga in, it might be time to think about all the little things you already do in your normal life and infuse them with mindfulness and breath. The five-minute break you take to chat with your friend in the office might not be what most people think of as yoga, but if it helps you become more balanced and aware--it's yoga.
3. Practice While You Drive, Stand In Line, Sit at Your Desk... And So On. If you need to stretch to feel like you've done yoga, there's no reason you can't do that in little spurts all day long! Practice Tadasana while you stand in line at the grocery store. Take breaks from your computer every hour to do a shoulder opener and a twist. The possibilities are endless. (If you need more examples read my blog post "Yoga Everywhere, and I Mean Everywhere!")
4. Make Yoga Top Priority. There will be days when the thought of peeling yourself off the couch and away from your favorite reality TV show is a struggle. When this happens, remember how great you feel after yoga--you feel energized and more balanced. That's way more important than So You Think You Can Dance or what someone you've never met has to say to Twitter, right?
5. Forgive Yourself. Don't forget that a big part of the practice is letting go of attachment--and that includes the attachment to your daily asana practice! So when something comes up that throws you off schedule and you just can't make it to the mat, try not to beat yourself up about it. It's part of the flow of life. Yoga isn't going anywhere, and neither are you. Try it again tomorrow!
Enjoy and be well!
From: Top Five Tuesdays
5 Ways to Make More Time for Yoga
September 14, 2010
by Erica Rodefer Winters
1. Write It In Your Calendar, To-Do List, (And Set an Alarm!) In my experience, when something becomes a habit it's easier to stick to. So if you want to be at yoga class every Tuesday at 6 pm, have your computer or phone send you a reminder at 4:30, and again at 5, and 5:15. And don't let anything else get in the way!
2. Expand Your View of What Yoga Is. If you feel like you don't get enough yoga in, it might be time to think about all the little things you already do in your normal life and infuse them with mindfulness and breath. The five-minute break you take to chat with your friend in the office might not be what most people think of as yoga, but if it helps you become more balanced and aware--it's yoga.
3. Practice While You Drive, Stand In Line, Sit at Your Desk... And So On. If you need to stretch to feel like you've done yoga, there's no reason you can't do that in little spurts all day long! Practice Tadasana while you stand in line at the grocery store. Take breaks from your computer every hour to do a shoulder opener and a twist. The possibilities are endless. (If you need more examples read my blog post "Yoga Everywhere, and I Mean Everywhere!")
4. Make Yoga Top Priority. There will be days when the thought of peeling yourself off the couch and away from your favorite reality TV show is a struggle. When this happens, remember how great you feel after yoga--you feel energized and more balanced. That's way more important than So You Think You Can Dance or what someone you've never met has to say to Twitter, right?
5. Forgive Yourself. Don't forget that a big part of the practice is letting go of attachment--and that includes the attachment to your daily asana practice! So when something comes up that throws you off schedule and you just can't make it to the mat, try not to beat yourself up about it. It's part of the flow of life. Yoga isn't going anywhere, and neither are you. Try it again tomorrow!
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Forgive Yourself
(From yogajournal.com daily insight)
Most religious traditions place high value on apology, forgiveness, and making amends. Yoga teaching, too, speaks to the importance of dealing ethically with others. The concept of karma tells us, in part, that our actions will come back to us. Karma yoga is the practice of selflessly putting ourselves in service to others, and part of this is trying to right the wrongs we have done.
But how do we make amends if our apologies are rejected? In the sacred Hindu text the Bhagavad Gita, the god Krishna tells the yogi Arjuna that it is a mistake to focus on the results of our efforts instead of on the efforts themselves: "The man who is devoted and not attached to the fruit of his actions obtains tranquility." Put simply, the crucial point in apology is not that you're successful but that you make the effort.
Kelly McGonigal, who teaches yoga and is a research psychologist at Stanford University, offers a four-step practice rooted in Tibetan Buddhist philosophy that can take us through the process of making amends. "First," she says, "recognize that you've done something that caused suffering or harm. Second, sit with the feeling of remorse and regret. Feel it in your body, and experience the emotions. Don't push them away or wallow in them." The third step, McGonigal says, is moving into a place of compassion for yourself as well as the person you harmed. Fueled by those compassionate feelings, we can move to the final step of setting an intention toward positive action.
IN THIS ISSUE
Forgive Yourself
http://www.yogajournal.com/wisdom/2413
Do Yoga, Do Good
http://www.yogajournal.com/wisdom/1492
Most religious traditions place high value on apology, forgiveness, and making amends. Yoga teaching, too, speaks to the importance of dealing ethically with others. The concept of karma tells us, in part, that our actions will come back to us. Karma yoga is the practice of selflessly putting ourselves in service to others, and part of this is trying to right the wrongs we have done.
But how do we make amends if our apologies are rejected? In the sacred Hindu text the Bhagavad Gita, the god Krishna tells the yogi Arjuna that it is a mistake to focus on the results of our efforts instead of on the efforts themselves: "The man who is devoted and not attached to the fruit of his actions obtains tranquility." Put simply, the crucial point in apology is not that you're successful but that you make the effort.
Kelly McGonigal, who teaches yoga and is a research psychologist at Stanford University, offers a four-step practice rooted in Tibetan Buddhist philosophy that can take us through the process of making amends. "First," she says, "recognize that you've done something that caused suffering or harm. Second, sit with the feeling of remorse and regret. Feel it in your body, and experience the emotions. Don't push them away or wallow in them." The third step, McGonigal says, is moving into a place of compassion for yourself as well as the person you harmed. Fueled by those compassionate feelings, we can move to the final step of setting an intention toward positive action.
IN THIS ISSUE
Forgive Yourself
http://www.yogajournal.com/wisdom/2413
Do Yoga, Do Good
http://www.yogajournal.com/wisdom/1492
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