i don't know how else to say it. emotions, decisions, choices, trusting, not-trusting, being, doing, believing it will be okay. i've had to work with trust this week. i'm going back to the east coast to see my nana, which was a hard decision to make. a lot of mental chatter about going back this weekend, as oppose to next weekend was pretty loud and obnoxious. but i had to listen to it. i had to listen to it as an observer because it's so easy to get caught up in it! i had to hear it like a radio. a dj just blabbing about whatever, because, ya know, it is whatever. thanks for sharing all of that with me, but, really, what's really happening!
i'm want celebration and appreciation! i'm celebrating my first massage client! i'm celebrating family, friends, technology for communication, colleagues who pull through, emotions and ME! let's celebrate who we are, just as we are, whenever, wherever, however.
it's all perfect.
Showing posts with label week. Show all posts
Showing posts with label week. Show all posts
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
The 1 week hump
I'm feeling very good. It's day 7 of the wheat/gluten cleanse and I definitely feel that some stuff has left my system. In fact, someone at my work told me that I looked like I lost weight, which wasn't my prime intention for doing this. however, I know the majority of it is water weight anyway.
One of the most interesting things out of this experience was that I got a major allergy attack this morning: sneezing and running nose. It's definitely Springtime here in San Francisco, so things are blooming. But I couldn't help feel that this is part of the cleanse. The "hump" that you have to get over and then it's clear sailing from there. After an hour after eating my breakfast, I took an olive leaf supplement (anti-fungal) and the allergy symptoms disappeared within 30-40 minutes. For the past week and a half, I've been hearing and listening to my body more and more. It doesn't lie! On Saturday, I almost cheated by either eating a burrito, sandwich or thai food. As my husband handed me the money to go get it, my hand wouldn't even reach up to take the money! I decided to cook at home and stick with the cleanse. It was probably THE last day of cravings for me, because at work today there was a box of powered donuts in the kitchen for staff and I walked by it many times with my admiring eyes and I kept walking! I even let myself stare at them for a few moments. Yes they looked delicious! Yes I knew they were going to taste amazing (donuts are just one of my many weaknesses)! But I knew my body wasn't ready and I really didn't have the strong urge like I normally would have.
I have to face and accept that fact that I love baked goods! Muffins, donuts, breads etc. I want to feel okay with that and not beat myself up about it when I actually do have one. It's okay to want the not-so-healthy food every once in awhile and I hope this cleanse will remind me of that. For me, it turned into a more frequent thing and I knew a cleanse was in order. I also know there has been an emotional cleanse also happening in the process and this attachment/connection with food. I guess the question I could ask myself is, "what do baked goods do for me physically, emotionally and spiritually?". I could ponder and ponder, but, I'm not going to analyze it, which is what creates the self-judgments and self-doubt. It creates the mind chatter that I should've done this or that or I shouldn't blah, blah, blah. I honestly don't know why, so why not just let it be a mystery.
One of the most interesting things out of this experience was that I got a major allergy attack this morning: sneezing and running nose. It's definitely Springtime here in San Francisco, so things are blooming. But I couldn't help feel that this is part of the cleanse. The "hump" that you have to get over and then it's clear sailing from there. After an hour after eating my breakfast, I took an olive leaf supplement (anti-fungal) and the allergy symptoms disappeared within 30-40 minutes. For the past week and a half, I've been hearing and listening to my body more and more. It doesn't lie! On Saturday, I almost cheated by either eating a burrito, sandwich or thai food. As my husband handed me the money to go get it, my hand wouldn't even reach up to take the money! I decided to cook at home and stick with the cleanse. It was probably THE last day of cravings for me, because at work today there was a box of powered donuts in the kitchen for staff and I walked by it many times with my admiring eyes and I kept walking! I even let myself stare at them for a few moments. Yes they looked delicious! Yes I knew they were going to taste amazing (donuts are just one of my many weaknesses)! But I knew my body wasn't ready and I really didn't have the strong urge like I normally would have.
I have to face and accept that fact that I love baked goods! Muffins, donuts, breads etc. I want to feel okay with that and not beat myself up about it when I actually do have one. It's okay to want the not-so-healthy food every once in awhile and I hope this cleanse will remind me of that. For me, it turned into a more frequent thing and I knew a cleanse was in order. I also know there has been an emotional cleanse also happening in the process and this attachment/connection with food. I guess the question I could ask myself is, "what do baked goods do for me physically, emotionally and spiritually?". I could ponder and ponder, but, I'm not going to analyze it, which is what creates the self-judgments and self-doubt. It creates the mind chatter that I should've done this or that or I shouldn't blah, blah, blah. I honestly don't know why, so why not just let it be a mystery.
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