Learning to appreciate even when I want to explode

Being back on the east coast is always a "trip" for me. I love visiting my family and seeing friends when I can. Since living on the west coast in the San Francisco Bay Area for the last seven years, I've learned many things about myself and my family. It's amazing what 3000 miles of distance can do! I could go on about that experience, but I only have so much time in this coffee shop in Orleans, MA.

I've been staying with my mom, plus spending time with my brother, father, stepmother and stepfather. So far, I've noticed their reactions to their experiences such as traffic ( to name a few). However, it's the judgments they have toward people in general. I mean we all do it. I know in the past few years, I've learned a variety of tools, especially when I feel myself getting amped up about what someone just did or said. I guess what I really want to acknowledge is the negativity that my family feeds off of, or is the only focus they seem to put their attention on. I'm very careful how I say things so I don't set them off more because I could totally go that route and fire them up more; or say nothing so they can truly hear themselves. I really see what my coaching teacher was talking about. He would say to try and find those things you appreciate about those people who do fire you up. It's so freakin' hard! Especially with family.

So I, now, appreciate all the things my parents provided for me growing up, and still do. The unconditional love and support. I appreciate the fire and passion my brother has about current events and issues in the world, along with his music and art. I appreciate having a family that, although we have our differences, we can still enjoy each others' company.

Even when I would hear negative comments about something come out of their mouth, I would breathe and appreciate something about them. Even if it's that I got them in my life.

One of my 2010 Declarations

I will leverage my debt in a healthy way.

I need to remind myself and say this to myself as much as possible.  That I AM doing it. It IS happening.  What does a "healthy way" look like?  I will trust in my myself that money is always coming my way.  I will be compassionate towards myself no matter what.  I will appreciate myself even when times are tough, and be gentle with myself and say, "I am doing the best I can, and I am doing a great job." I want to create more abundance in clientele for my yoga and massage practice. 

I am love, acceptance and compassion. 

what a week

i don't know how else to say it.  emotions, decisions, choices, trusting, not-trusting, being, doing, believing it will be okay.  i've had to work with trust this week.  i'm going back to the east coast to see my nana, which was a hard decision to make.  a lot of mental chatter about going back this weekend, as oppose to next weekend was pretty loud and obnoxious.  but i had to listen to it. i had to listen to it as an observer because it's so easy to get caught up in it!  i had to hear it like a radio. a dj just blabbing about whatever, because, ya know, it is whatever.  thanks for sharing all of that with me, but, really, what's really happening! 

i'm want celebration and appreciation!  i'm celebrating my first massage client! i'm celebrating family, friends, technology for communication, colleagues who pull through, emotions and ME! let's celebrate who we are, just as we are, whenever, wherever, however. 

it's all perfect. 

Stay-cation appreciation

Another alternative to vacation: stay-cation. I just learned this term yesterday. Sometimes just staying home for a week can be just as relaxing and replenishing as going away somewhere. I have found that, for me, it's truly a vacation. Last week, my mother came to visit. Since she's been to San Francisco before, we didn't have to do all those touristy things that you would normally do when visiting a new city. We would wake up whenever; have coffee, tea and breakfast; and then either go shopping, walking, visiting her brother in hayward, museum, or just lounge around. I'm very close with my mother these days than I have ever been in my life. I appreciate everything she has done right down to giving birth to me. I feel all the work I have done (and still doing) on myself has really made a difference in the people in my life, even those who would push my buttons or drive me crazy! This stay-cation really allowed me to appreciate everyone and everything around me--my apartment, the materials in my apartment, my job, my health, my husband, my family, my cats, the sunshine and sky!

So I decided to start a meditation practice for myself. Since I'm really busy at this time in my life, I decided to meditate for up to 10 minutes when I can. Focusing on what I'm grateful for and what I want to create for myself--career, life, with my husband, etc. This is something that my therapist recommended to me and I have found such wonderful value with it. I have experienced the joy and grateful-ness through my whole body and being and I want others to experience it too. Down the road, I want to build up my practice to a daily exercise. That's my goal and declaration.