my audience

wow. today is all about the venting and blabbing....

as i looked at my last newsletter, i wondered who is my audience? who do i want to send and offer my knowledge and tools? i honestly believe i still don't know, but i'm okay with that right now. however, i know one of the things to have a successful business is to know your audience/population that you're serving. so i guess i need to reevaluate. cool! i'm glad i realized this now. i'm happy for myself that i came to this conclusion. i'm not judging or beating myself up. in fact, i think i want to look back at some old notes from classes i took about this subject. review and rekindle the mind, body and soul.

i remember from my holistic coaching program, my life's purpose: i am love and acceptance. perhaps i have new one brewing: i am contribution, inspiration, and joy!

hey, now that feels good. let's do more: i am connection and integration. well, that's actually the first line of my mission statement. but that still counts because it's true!

i am compassion and abundance. that one doesn't feel as true to me, and it may be the "abundance". I associate this word with money too much, even though i know deep down that's not what its all about. but, hey, something to inquire within.

so this was a great vent because i know now i won't feel the need to rush getting my march newsletter out. this year has been a lot about self-evaluation, self-inquiry and self-care. i'm more present with myself, and i hope this will guide me in connecting and attracting MY audience.

:)

admin assistant vent

i get sick of assisting people at times. don't get me wrong. i'm very grateful that i have a steady job at this moment in time and i really like helping people.

but i really get sick of having to hold your hand through common sense shit.
when you come up to my desk and ASSUME
that i know information,
don't act all entitled and put out because i DON'T have it!
when in the grand scheme of all things,
i'm NOT THAT person
who has THAT information,
AND YOU FUCKIN' KNOW THAT!

i have a need to be valued, appreciated, and heard! i'm not JUST an admin assistant, i'm freakin' person!

have a nice day!

Safety

This past week I've realized how important it is to feel safe. When we don't feel safe in situations, what happens to you? For me, I can go into panic mode; my thoughts scatter; my body shakes; my heart races; and I sweat. I also feel it in my in my lower chakras, especially the 1st (survival) and 3rd (power and will). When our safety is threatened, we all react in different ways. It depends on our life experiences too, for instance, did something happen to us in the past that made us so scared.

I had a moment this week when these feelings of fear and unsafety came up. Although, this particular situation wasn't exactly unsafe, it triggered some old stuff. Most of the symptoms I described above occurred. I was conscious of what was going on and overall felt like I handled the situation very well. But why was I having the thoughts I was having? Thoughts such as, "I should've kept my mouth shut", "I'm going to get fired", "people are going to hate me", "I shouldn't stand up for myself because people won't like me", and so on. With the help of a professional, I went into a more deeper self-inquiry; however, I resisted! I even began to disassociate, and ignore the feelings in my body. But that didn't last.

The feelings of fear, scared and unsafe came and I let myself cry and be scared. Memories of people in the past washed over me like waves crashing on the shore. The controlling college roommate and ex-boyfriend. It's interesting that it was these two particular people because they both had some psych issues at that time. So no wonder I felt unsafe! At the time, I believed, if I spoke my mind, bad things would happen to me. That these people would hate me and tell others that I am a bad person. Of course, I know now that wasn't the case. I had friends after I finally took control of my life and removed these people from my space. But I remember feeling so scared and terrified of being myself. Expressing who I am and expressing my needs! I'm amazed at how my body handled this back then and now. This was a trauma to the body and psyche; and there were some leftovers from it the other day. It was confusing, but I knew it was something deeper than the situation at hand.

I'm glad I'm mindful and aware of my feelings. Of course, it's not always fun (LOL), it needs to be acknowledged, especially strong, intense feelings. Usually, in that situation, I would've just brushed it off and moved on, but it didn't go away. It lingered.

So, when it lingers, stop and ask yourself: Does this go deeper?

I see clients now on Saturdays!

Massage Offerings

Don't miss out on a wonderful offer! Tell your friends and family! See below for details!

Available by appointment on Saturdays from 10:00am-1:00pm. Call 415-637-5825.

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Call 415-637-5825 (Mon-Sat 10a-8p)

Email lizsfilippone@gmail.com

Restorative Yoga Workshop: Supporting the Immune System CANCELED

Due to low registration and unexpected changes, the Restorative Yoga Workshop scheduled for Saturday, February 26 will be canceled.

Sorry for any inconvenience.

If you preregistered with Daly City Parks and Recreation, call 650-991-8012. Thank you for your support and interest!

A slow descent and rise

I'm getting more and more clear about what's alive for me. It's funny because I could feel it calling me over the past year. Massage is one of those things, which I'm doing already as I complete my clinic hours.

But the big thing for me is my movement practice: butoh and performance. It's been calling me for awhile now and I feel I need to answer it. I already began cutting back on my yoga teaching without really knowing why. I mean, I knew why. I just had too much judgment of myself about it. The "clear" is coming through with acceptance. Acceptance of what is. Right now I like teaching two classes a week. It's just interesting that I have realized now, that I've been making this slow descent away from it.

So, now it's about rising up to meet my movement practice. To spend more time with it. To embrace it and let it embrace me. To hold what fires me up and makes me feel alive. To be present with all I am while moving. To breathe. To love.

After taking the Katsura Kan workshop, that love came back to me. That drive to create, experiment, share, and teach. I will always incorporate my love of yoga with my movement practice because I really can't not. So let that love rise and feed me with all its glory and beauty, because it's gonna be fun rise to up and meet it.

Hormones need space

They can be so brutal sometimes. I don't mean this in a bad way necessarily. I do appreciate them because they do regulate things in my body and mine are pretty healthy as far as I know. So YAY to that! But in the past week they've been bringing up stuff.

A week ago, I had a night I couldn't sleep. Then over the past weekend, I experienced some PMS symptoms that I haven't felt in a LONG time. A lot of sadness and grief came up. I've been missing my family back east and my recently passed Nana and Baba. In the past, I used to have really bad PMS, to the point where I just let it take me over. But now, since my awareness has increased, that doesn't happen so much. In fact, I allowed myself to experience it all.

On Sunday, it was all psychological. I was anxious and moody. Everything seemed to trigger me. I got support from my husband, as well as a friend. I also had some time alone, which was the best because I had a nice, healthy cry. Then I took a bath with some lavendar oil. What a concept! Take a break, give myself and those a hormones some space! Didn't women do this WAY BACK in the day? Didn't they, and everyone in the community, honor it? There's a book called "The Red Tent" that reflects this practice. I haven't read it yet, but plan to. So after taking the bath, I felt a little better.

Then Monday came it was all somatic. My body ached and I had brain fog. Again, when I got home, I took a bath with lavender and it eased the tension, so I could feel. I couldn't sleep that night either, but this time it only took an hour for me to fall asleep. As I laid in bed, I ran my energy pattern, a technique used in a lot of different energy work. I drew my attention to my right foot and started to trace a path up my leg, but it kept stopping at my pelvis. I did this 3 more times and it stopped in the same place, so I gave all my attention and breath to this area. It made sense, especially for this time of the month. Even my ovaries were active. After about 5 minutes, I started the path again and it went all the way up my body and didn't stop. I could finally go to sleep. YAY!

I really feel it's important for women to honor these times in their lives. We really don't do it enough. We tend to hold it in, and then forget to release it. I feel my hormones triggered these emotions of grief sadness for a reason. It's as if a part of my body needed to release it, and then my hormones were there as a back up. To let me know, there's some stuff that just has to go. I used to judge and criticize myself for feeling the way I feel during this time of the month, but not anymore. It's apart of a woman's life, so it's time to embrace it and not fight it.