The Insight Continues....

I can't get over the insight I've been receiving for the past week. Since my last post, things have unfolded before me. I've realized how much I've been distracting myself from what's really been going on.

I was talking to a friend last night because I really needed support. I knew stuff was coming up and I didn't know why, yet I knew why. That's the way it goes.

I did some clearing out of stale, negative thoughts and beliefs. I couldn't believe what was coming up and then BOOM! It kicked me in the butt. My friend was a witness to this too.

I have a HUGE story about perfection. How I have to be perfect at everything I do, and if I'm not or don't do it right the first time, I'm a failure or not good enough. I continued to clear out more negative thoughts and beliefs around that and an inquiry came up, "why do I always feel like I have to prove myself?" Who am I proving myself to? Myself? My husband? A kid from elementary school who used to tease me? My parents?

SHA-ZAM!

My parents divorced when I was about 10 or 11 (and to this day I don't know the exact age). It wasn't a messy divorce, but still not a happy time. The BIG, BIG story that came out of all this perfectionism was that I thought I was the reason they divorced. That in some way it was my fault. Now, these beliefs age at about 10-11 years old because now, as an adult, I know that's not true. I love my parents and they love me, and have always been there for me.

But, WOW! What a heavy thing to hold onto! As I allowed myself to feel the emotions and release it, a lightness came over me. It was moving out.

I felt more clear and certain about my path in front of me. I found my passion and purpose again. I know I am love, and loved by others. I am full of wonderous possibility! We all are.

There was something my friend reminded me of and that it's important to have fun with what we do. We get so caught up in the doing and get so serious that we lose the "fun" out of life. If we're in a place that's not in alignment with our purpose, how are we going to enjoy life?

Where's the joy in that?

Lots of insight there.