Routine Change

It's amazing how us humans function on routine.  If we don't have one, we could go insane or just feel imbalanced.  I know that's how I felt when I was on medical leave, especially towards the end. It's my 2nd day back to work and I still feel very refreshed and rested.  I'm looking forward to getting back into my yoga routine again and, in general, exercise.

However, I also think about my usual routine: M-F get up, shower, dress, go to work, after work go home or to another activity, then bed.  Sat and Sun are different and it depends on what needs to get done that didn't during the week or something leisure and fun could be an option.

Then I thought "I wonder what my routine would be if I was working for myself?".  Perhaps I need to create this. Write this down.  For instance, I had a little moment of worry over money this week and what always comes to mind is that I have a steady paycheck and thank God for that! But if I work for myself, that's not exactly going to be the case.  I know this has to be carefully thought out and organized, so that I know what money is coming in and going out.  But also I feel I need to look at my relationship with money (which is a whole other topic. Later on that one).

Changing my routine is exciting and scary at the same time.  I feel my heart race with anticipation and also with anxiety.  I know I can do it.  I have to. I want to. So why do I feel this resistance? this worry? this fear? Why can't the positive and good things take me over more? Why can't I feel joy about it? It's a paradox that just doesn't want to quit sometimes.  But my readiness is there. I can feel it.  It's growing stronger day by day.  So let's focus on that.