When change occurs, I can go either two ways: breathe through the rough, stormy waters or go into a deep, dark hole of depression. However, at times, I find myself in between these two junctions or trapezes. I feel like I'm standing in that limbo with my arms folded and a wrinkled up face asking, "Hmm, which way do I want to go right now?"
The old part of me wants to go to that familiar place of darkness and self-loathing. It wants to numb it with food or alcohol. It wants to just sit there and feel like there's nothing that can be done and it's always going to be this way. But then my other part wants to allow space, compassion and love. You're probably thinking why you wouldn't just go that way. But how many times have you found yourself in the middle? How many times have you stood in the crossroads contemplating? How many times do you think it's just easier to be "this" way?
I really want the space, compassion, and love. My body and soul yearn for it, while my mind plays the two scenarios over and over. I know transition and change. I've been there. The process is very familiar to me. I know we all handle it differently, and that deep down everything is and will be okay. It is just when you're in the midst of it, that it just doesn't seem possible.
The feelings that typically arise are overwhelm, anxiety, fear (of the unknown), lost, insecure, frustration, impatience, and sadness. Deep down, we want to be happy; however, there is some work involved. In the past, when I would read those self-help books about finding true happiness and joy in your life, I just wanted to skip right to the happiness and joyful state; or I would say, "Yeah right! I can never get that", "I'm too old", or "I don't deserve it." I didn't realize that I had to (actually) go through the dark periods to get to the light.
In Judith Lasater's book, Living Your Yoga: Finding the Spiritual in Everyday Life, she quotes one of the Yoga Sutras by Patanjali, first book verse three, "Then the seer abides in its essence." In regards to the practice of yoga, Judith explains that Patanjali refers to yoga as being in "a state of wholeness", and when we can sit in our wholeness, "we can sit in our true nature." So, while experiencing a change or transition, why do we feel fear or bad about the way we feel? Well, for one thing, it's the unknown, and who wants to be there!?!. For example, imagine all the layers of an onion. The core of an onion is its wholeness. So when we think ourselves like an onion and there is a shift occurring, we begin to peel a layer, which is a layer of our past histories, experiences, beliefs and stories, most of, which may not be serving us anymore and holding us back from what we really want. That first layer is the first step toward your wholeness. Your true self towards freedom.
So what stories do you tell yourself as to why something is the way it is? Are they really true? Who would you be without those stories?
Find a quiet place and take about 15 minutes to write down at least five of those stories you may tell yourself. Then pick one that you say the most. Close your eyes and say that story or belief to yourself about 5-10 times. Note how your body feels when you say it to yourself. Feel the sensations and the emotions that come up. Be aware of any self-judgments. Allow your body to soften and relax even if it may feel uncomfortable or tense. Next, turn it around. What new story or belief do you want to tell yourself?
Here are some positive mantras or affirmations you can tell yourself when you're faced with a shift or transition:
* I always can make a choice.
* Change and transition is growth, and I welcome it with love and compassion.
* I trust myself.
* I take one step at a time.
* I have lots of time.
* I am perfect just the way I am.
When you say the positive mantras to yourself, really feel it in your body and note the difference. If you just repeat it over and over, and still feel tension or stress in your body, take a breath and pick a different one. Allow yourself time and space for it to come.
YOU ARE an amazing, powerful being, who can be what you want to be and do what you want to do. There is a wealth of possibilities and it all starts within.
Showing posts with label change. Show all posts
Showing posts with label change. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Why I do yoga
This was a question I posed for myself in the previous post. As I practice yoga on a (almost) daily basis, I ask myself in the beginning of the practice, "Why do I practice yoga?", and then see where it leads me. Sometimes I forget I even asked myself this question, and continue on with my practice and day. Last Tuesday, when I taught my Hatha Flow class, one of the students talked about when and why she started doing yoga, and then asked me the same question. I bless this student for reminding me! I talked about when I was 21 years old, getting ready to graduate college, I began making changes in my life. I began changing the relationships I had with friends, family, and partners. I started to meet new people who had more awareness of body, mind and spirit and introduced me to different practices such as yoga, butoh dance, and meditation. I also discovered Whole Foods, and started looking at food a little differently too. But it comes back to yoga. It comes to the question, was it a coincidence that I began taking yoga classes during this transition in my life? Or was there a reason?
With all the hours of studying and training I've received in the past ten years, "coincidence" has faded from my vocabulary. I believe there is a reason for everything that happens to us and around us. Yoga, being a holistic practice, supports me in those transitional, and sometimes, difficult times. Whether it's grief, loss, or depression, I find those times on the yoga mat very comforting. Even if I'm in resistance, I start doing some sun salutations and I'm immersed in the experience. It's a time when I can really be with thoughts and emotions--anger, sadness, frustration--and allow them to move through and out my body. It brings my attention to my breath, which supports the movement of energy. It's when we hold our breath a lot, or take quick, short breaths, that's how the tension continues to build up, so we are unable to move on.
I do yoga to relieve that tension. I'm sure most people do without realizing it. But in this last decade of practicing and teaching yoga, I really had to remind myself why I do this. There was a time when I loathed it, and it was a time when I wasn't present and in complete resistance. There was a lot of unacknowledged grief and self-doubt, which was so frightening to face. It was just easier to shut down. With a supportive community and with time, shutting down wasn't a way of being anymore. I was more open to being with the uncomfortable feelings more because I realized they would pass quicker if I just sat with them. I look forward to practicing yoga, and teaching! So how did this happen?
Compassion, love, understanding, and acceptance (to name a few). Yoga teaches us this. It brings us into our body, allows us to look at the mind, and connect with our soul. But we need to go through the dark periods, in order to get to the light. There's no joy, without sorrow. There's no happiness without sadness/anger. There's no yin without yang. It's all about balance, and this is what yoga offers us.
So, if you're a yoga practitioner or other practitioner of whatever passion/hobby/practice you do, why do you do it? What keeps bringing you back? Does it ignite your creative fire, and how do you contain it and then move it? How do you cultivate it in your daily life?
I invite you to take 5-15 minutes a day to answer these questions one at time. Don't feel you have to answer all of them at once. Or see what questions arise within yourself, but without judgment. A little self-reflection and inquiry can go a LONG way.
Namaste ~
With all the hours of studying and training I've received in the past ten years, "coincidence" has faded from my vocabulary. I believe there is a reason for everything that happens to us and around us. Yoga, being a holistic practice, supports me in those transitional, and sometimes, difficult times. Whether it's grief, loss, or depression, I find those times on the yoga mat very comforting. Even if I'm in resistance, I start doing some sun salutations and I'm immersed in the experience. It's a time when I can really be with thoughts and emotions--anger, sadness, frustration--and allow them to move through and out my body. It brings my attention to my breath, which supports the movement of energy. It's when we hold our breath a lot, or take quick, short breaths, that's how the tension continues to build up, so we are unable to move on.
I do yoga to relieve that tension. I'm sure most people do without realizing it. But in this last decade of practicing and teaching yoga, I really had to remind myself why I do this. There was a time when I loathed it, and it was a time when I wasn't present and in complete resistance. There was a lot of unacknowledged grief and self-doubt, which was so frightening to face. It was just easier to shut down. With a supportive community and with time, shutting down wasn't a way of being anymore. I was more open to being with the uncomfortable feelings more because I realized they would pass quicker if I just sat with them. I look forward to practicing yoga, and teaching! So how did this happen?
Compassion, love, understanding, and acceptance (to name a few). Yoga teaches us this. It brings us into our body, allows us to look at the mind, and connect with our soul. But we need to go through the dark periods, in order to get to the light. There's no joy, without sorrow. There's no happiness without sadness/anger. There's no yin without yang. It's all about balance, and this is what yoga offers us.
So, if you're a yoga practitioner or other practitioner of whatever passion/hobby/practice you do, why do you do it? What keeps bringing you back? Does it ignite your creative fire, and how do you contain it and then move it? How do you cultivate it in your daily life?
I invite you to take 5-15 minutes a day to answer these questions one at time. Don't feel you have to answer all of them at once. Or see what questions arise within yourself, but without judgment. A little self-reflection and inquiry can go a LONG way.
Namaste ~
Friday, February 26, 2010
Routine Change
It's amazing how us humans function on routine. If we don't have one, we could go insane or just feel imbalanced. I know that's how I felt when I was on medical leave, especially towards the end. It's my 2nd day back to work and I still feel very refreshed and rested. I'm looking forward to getting back into my yoga routine again and, in general, exercise.
However, I also think about my usual routine: M-F get up, shower, dress, go to work, after work go home or to another activity, then bed. Sat and Sun are different and it depends on what needs to get done that didn't during the week or something leisure and fun could be an option.
Then I thought "I wonder what my routine would be if I was working for myself?". Perhaps I need to create this. Write this down. For instance, I had a little moment of worry over money this week and what always comes to mind is that I have a steady paycheck and thank God for that! But if I work for myself, that's not exactly going to be the case. I know this has to be carefully thought out and organized, so that I know what money is coming in and going out. But also I feel I need to look at my relationship with money (which is a whole other topic. Later on that one).
Changing my routine is exciting and scary at the same time. I feel my heart race with anticipation and also with anxiety. I know I can do it. I have to. I want to. So why do I feel this resistance? this worry? this fear? Why can't the positive and good things take me over more? Why can't I feel joy about it? It's a paradox that just doesn't want to quit sometimes. But my readiness is there. I can feel it. It's growing stronger day by day. So let's focus on that.
However, I also think about my usual routine: M-F get up, shower, dress, go to work, after work go home or to another activity, then bed. Sat and Sun are different and it depends on what needs to get done that didn't during the week or something leisure and fun could be an option.
Then I thought "I wonder what my routine would be if I was working for myself?". Perhaps I need to create this. Write this down. For instance, I had a little moment of worry over money this week and what always comes to mind is that I have a steady paycheck and thank God for that! But if I work for myself, that's not exactly going to be the case. I know this has to be carefully thought out and organized, so that I know what money is coming in and going out. But also I feel I need to look at my relationship with money (which is a whole other topic. Later on that one).
Changing my routine is exciting and scary at the same time. I feel my heart race with anticipation and also with anxiety. I know I can do it. I have to. I want to. So why do I feel this resistance? this worry? this fear? Why can't the positive and good things take me over more? Why can't I feel joy about it? It's a paradox that just doesn't want to quit sometimes. But my readiness is there. I can feel it. It's growing stronger day by day. So let's focus on that.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Changing your relationship with food
Food became this puzzle to me a few years ago. I began to notice sensitivities to certain foods I was eating such as wheat and gluten. I was amazed how it's in everything! I grew up eating it through my childhood, teenage and young adult years. Never noticed any patterns when I got sinus infections, problems and then allergies. However, I feel I have a hold on it and know if I choose to eat something (that may or may not agree with me), at least I know why I feel the way I do. I've also thought about vegetarianism and did it for about 6 months, but I honestly don't feel my body responded to it very well. I felt lethargic a lot at one point and decided to eat a little bit of chicken. POOF! my energy was back. Of course, I choose to eat the free-range, organic, grass-fed chicken as much as I can. In other words, the happy chicken! It's hard, especially if you really feel strongly about animal rights and the treatment towards animals in factory farms. But what do you do when certain diets aren't working for YOU? I love how using the principles of yoga can support this journey if that's the path you're on. For me, it's an ongoing thing. A path that I tend to step into at certain points in my life. When I step on the mat I always ask, "how do I feel right now?", "What does my body need?". What do you ask your body?
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(From Yoga Journal Daily Insight)
As the food industry relentlessly markets every fad diet and product, Americans are forgetting how to eat healthily and happily. Yoga can help you make better choices about what you eat—and skip the guilt.
Yoga's philosophy teaches us to make meals from plant-based foods that form the foundation of the food pyramid. The physical asana practice deepens your awareness of your body, so you become more conscious of foods that bring a consistent sense of well-being—and those that make you feel bad after you eat them. Over time, practitioners often find themselves in a more comfortable and relaxed relationship with food.
While yoga and meditation can help you navigate the choppy waters of the American food industry, success won't happen overnight. But as you practice, you can build the discipline, patience, and compassion to overcome the many forces arrayed against you—no matter how formidable they seem.
IN THIS ISSUE
If I Do Yoga, Am I Vegetarian?
http://www.yogajournal.com/lifestyle/280
Fear Factor
http://www.yogajournal.com/lifestyle/2020
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(From Yoga Journal Daily Insight)
As the food industry relentlessly markets every fad diet and product, Americans are forgetting how to eat healthily and happily. Yoga can help you make better choices about what you eat—and skip the guilt.
Yoga's philosophy teaches us to make meals from plant-based foods that form the foundation of the food pyramid. The physical asana practice deepens your awareness of your body, so you become more conscious of foods that bring a consistent sense of well-being—and those that make you feel bad after you eat them. Over time, practitioners often find themselves in a more comfortable and relaxed relationship with food.
While yoga and meditation can help you navigate the choppy waters of the American food industry, success won't happen overnight. But as you practice, you can build the discipline, patience, and compassion to overcome the many forces arrayed against you—no matter how formidable they seem.
IN THIS ISSUE
If I Do Yoga, Am I Vegetarian?
http://www.yogajournal.com/lifestyle/280
Fear Factor
http://www.yogajournal.com/lifestyle/2020
Monday, June 22, 2009
Take Change in Stride
As I continue to work on my feet, I have to ask myself if I'm willing to allow change. For now, it's looking at the shoes I wear. are they serving me? are they impeding on my healing? Change is something I've either consciously and unconsciously embraced throughout my life. It's more conscious as I want to experience these shifts more and be present. It can be such a whirlwind of emotions and thoughts, both fun and not fun. So here I go into the unknown!
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(From yogajournal.com daily insight)
Part of the philosophy of yoga is that we can't always change the world around us. No matter what we do, bad things will happen and stressful situations will arise. The only thing we have control over—the only thing we can change—is ourselves. We can decide how to react to situations that challenge us. Will we allow them to throw us off center, or will we take them in stride?
Yoga teaches us how to respond to stress patiently. We must experience the physical challenge of the postures without fear, and use deep, calm breaths to move through them. If we can take that lesson off the mat and into our daily lives, we will move closer to the goal of responding to stress in a careful and considered way.
IN THIS ISSUE
Return to Stillness
http://www.yogajournal.com/wisdom/459
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(From yogajournal.com daily insight)
Part of the philosophy of yoga is that we can't always change the world around us. No matter what we do, bad things will happen and stressful situations will arise. The only thing we have control over—the only thing we can change—is ourselves. We can decide how to react to situations that challenge us. Will we allow them to throw us off center, or will we take them in stride?
Yoga teaches us how to respond to stress patiently. We must experience the physical challenge of the postures without fear, and use deep, calm breaths to move through them. If we can take that lesson off the mat and into our daily lives, we will move closer to the goal of responding to stress in a careful and considered way.
IN THIS ISSUE
Return to Stillness
http://www.yogajournal.com/wisdom/459
Monday, June 1, 2009
The time has come
I feel ease and space in my body. I feel in alignment with what I want. I have started to clear my schedule and make time for what's important to me. It was hard and it took some time but it's happening because it NEEDED to happen.
I'm going to take a little hiatus from teaching yoga in order to pursue my career training as a massage therapist. It dawned on me this past weekend why I can't find time to practice and trade with my fellow classmates. I work full time, go to massage school and teach yoga. What about me? Once I made the decision, it was like a HUGE space cleared in my chest and abdomen. I even got someone to take over the class for me! So I know it's for the best. In the past, I used to just stick with things no matter what. Then I would get burnt out and physically ill. It was a way of my body saying, "You're doing too much!" "Stop it now!". As I get older, I can't ignore it anymore. I'm also not 21 or 25 anymore either. I want my thirties to be rich with knowledge and presence. I want to experience my massage training and career. I will always be able to teach yoga because it's a passion of mine that I've been practicing for almost 10 years! Sometimes we need to slow some things down when new possibilites come into our lives.
I'm so happy that I'm manifesting what I want and can feel, see and taste it.
I'm going to take a little hiatus from teaching yoga in order to pursue my career training as a massage therapist. It dawned on me this past weekend why I can't find time to practice and trade with my fellow classmates. I work full time, go to massage school and teach yoga. What about me? Once I made the decision, it was like a HUGE space cleared in my chest and abdomen. I even got someone to take over the class for me! So I know it's for the best. In the past, I used to just stick with things no matter what. Then I would get burnt out and physically ill. It was a way of my body saying, "You're doing too much!" "Stop it now!". As I get older, I can't ignore it anymore. I'm also not 21 or 25 anymore either. I want my thirties to be rich with knowledge and presence. I want to experience my massage training and career. I will always be able to teach yoga because it's a passion of mine that I've been practicing for almost 10 years! Sometimes we need to slow some things down when new possibilites come into our lives.
I'm so happy that I'm manifesting what I want and can feel, see and taste it.
Monday, May 18, 2009
One Moment in Time
This article is so true. Embracing change can be a scary thing for some. Attachment to detachment is a huge step for human beings. I find myself resisting change with certain things such as accepting my body now than it was when I was 21. But also taking my time and being compassionate to myself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
(From YogaJournal.com Daily Insight)
As the Buddha said, impermanence is the nature of the human condition. This is a truth we know in our minds but tend to resist in our hearts. Change happens all around us, all the time, yet we long for the predictable, the consistent. We want the reassurance that comes from things remaining the same. Yoga philosophy offers an alternative to these tendencies. It is to embrace the powerful truth: the power of living in the unchanging, eternal present.
We can even look to our yoga mat to watch the attachment pattern play itself out. We often find ourselves attached to a never-ending process of "improvement" in our asanas. They do improve quickly at first—in the beginning, we are on a honeymoon of discovery; we grow by leaps and bounds in ability and understanding. After a couple of decades, however, our poses change much less. Oftentimes, we can no longer practice certain poses because of age or injury, yet we feel agitated because we assume that the poses of our youth should be the poses of our middle and old age.
What gives life its juice is the ability to mourn anything fully and simultaneously know it doesn't ultimately matter. In other words, we can live to the fullest when we recognize that our suffering is based not on the fact of impermanence but rather on our reaction to that impermanence.
IN THIS ISSUE
After the Laundry, the Laundry
http://www.yogajournal.com/wisdom/1248
Polishing the Mirror
http://www.yogajournal.com/wisdom/2523
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
(From YogaJournal.com Daily Insight)
As the Buddha said, impermanence is the nature of the human condition. This is a truth we know in our minds but tend to resist in our hearts. Change happens all around us, all the time, yet we long for the predictable, the consistent. We want the reassurance that comes from things remaining the same. Yoga philosophy offers an alternative to these tendencies. It is to embrace the powerful truth: the power of living in the unchanging, eternal present.
We can even look to our yoga mat to watch the attachment pattern play itself out. We often find ourselves attached to a never-ending process of "improvement" in our asanas. They do improve quickly at first—in the beginning, we are on a honeymoon of discovery; we grow by leaps and bounds in ability and understanding. After a couple of decades, however, our poses change much less. Oftentimes, we can no longer practice certain poses because of age or injury, yet we feel agitated because we assume that the poses of our youth should be the poses of our middle and old age.
What gives life its juice is the ability to mourn anything fully and simultaneously know it doesn't ultimately matter. In other words, we can live to the fullest when we recognize that our suffering is based not on the fact of impermanence but rather on our reaction to that impermanence.
IN THIS ISSUE
After the Laundry, the Laundry
http://www.yogajournal.com/wisdom/1248
Polishing the Mirror
http://www.yogajournal.com/wisdom/2523
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Change Your Inner Monologue
This article is definitely a follow up to my post "Out of body, in my head". It's amazing how our minds can take over our lives, literally.
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(From yogajournal.com insight)
If you observe your mind, there is always noise. It begins the moment you open your eyes in the morning and carries on every single second until you close your eyes at night. Perhaps this chatter prevents you from drifting off to sleep. And when you do finally doze off, it may make that rest fitful. When you examine your mental chatter, you will quickly discern that this unending noise has patterns. One of the most powerful and prevalent is your Voice of Judgment. Over time, negative judgments start to accumulate. Eventually they form a huge barrier that sits squarely in front of you on the path to your ideal life.
During the day, try carrying around a journal—or a file, notebook, or sheet of paper. Categorize the types of mind chatter that assault or beguile. Do this for at least two weeks. Are there wild flights of fancy? Elaborate escapist dreams? If so, try to be specific about exactly what types of accomplishments you fantasize about.
The very act of observing it changes your mental chatter. Shoplifting drops dramatically when department stores install surveillance cameras and post signs that they have done so. Similarly, your mental chatter is less able to take you down destructive paths when you become consciously aware of it.
IN THIS ISSUE
Are You Ready To Succeed?
http://www.yogajournal.com/lifestyle/1951
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(From yogajournal.com insight)
If you observe your mind, there is always noise. It begins the moment you open your eyes in the morning and carries on every single second until you close your eyes at night. Perhaps this chatter prevents you from drifting off to sleep. And when you do finally doze off, it may make that rest fitful. When you examine your mental chatter, you will quickly discern that this unending noise has patterns. One of the most powerful and prevalent is your Voice of Judgment. Over time, negative judgments start to accumulate. Eventually they form a huge barrier that sits squarely in front of you on the path to your ideal life.
During the day, try carrying around a journal—or a file, notebook, or sheet of paper. Categorize the types of mind chatter that assault or beguile. Do this for at least two weeks. Are there wild flights of fancy? Elaborate escapist dreams? If so, try to be specific about exactly what types of accomplishments you fantasize about.
The very act of observing it changes your mental chatter. Shoplifting drops dramatically when department stores install surveillance cameras and post signs that they have done so. Similarly, your mental chatter is less able to take you down destructive paths when you become consciously aware of it.
IN THIS ISSUE
Are You Ready To Succeed?
http://www.yogajournal.com/lifestyle/1951
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