Why I do yoga

This was a question I posed for myself in the previous post. As I practice yoga on a (almost) daily basis, I ask myself in the beginning of the practice, "Why do I practice yoga?", and then see where it leads me. Sometimes I forget I even asked myself this question, and continue on with my practice and day. Last Tuesday, when I taught my Hatha Flow class, one of the students talked about when and why she started doing yoga, and then asked me the same question. I bless this student for reminding me! I talked about when I was 21 years old, getting ready to graduate college, I began making changes in my life. I began changing the relationships I had with friends, family, and partners. I started to meet new people who had more awareness of body, mind and spirit and introduced me to different practices such as yoga, butoh dance, and meditation. I also discovered Whole Foods, and started looking at food a little differently too. But it comes back to yoga. It comes to the question, was it a coincidence that I began taking yoga classes during this transition in my life? Or was there a reason?

With all the hours of studying and training I've received in the past ten years, "coincidence" has faded from my vocabulary. I believe there is a reason for everything that happens to us and around us. Yoga, being a holistic practice, supports me in those transitional, and sometimes, difficult times. Whether it's grief, loss, or depression, I find those times on the yoga mat very comforting. Even if I'm in resistance, I start doing some sun salutations and I'm immersed in the experience. It's a time when I can really be with thoughts and emotions--anger, sadness, frustration--and allow them to move through and out my body. It brings my attention to my breath, which supports the movement of energy. It's when we hold our breath a lot, or take quick, short breaths, that's how the tension continues to build up, so we are unable to move on.

I do yoga to relieve that tension. I'm sure most people do without realizing it. But in this last decade of practicing and teaching yoga, I really had to remind myself why I do this. There was a time when I loathed it, and it was a time when I wasn't present and in complete resistance. There was a lot of unacknowledged grief and self-doubt, which was so frightening to face. It was just easier to shut down. With a supportive community and with time, shutting down wasn't a way of being anymore. I was more open to being with the uncomfortable feelings more because I realized they would pass quicker if I just sat with them. I look forward to practicing yoga, and teaching! So how did this happen?

Compassion, love, understanding, and acceptance (to name a few). Yoga teaches us this. It brings us into our body, allows us to look at the mind, and connect with our soul. But we need to go through the dark periods, in order to get to the light. There's no joy, without sorrow. There's no happiness without sadness/anger. There's no yin without yang. It's all about balance, and this is what yoga offers us.

So, if you're a yoga practitioner or other practitioner of whatever passion/hobby/practice you do, why do you do it? What keeps bringing you back? Does it ignite your creative fire, and how do you contain it and then move it? How do you cultivate it in your daily life?

I invite you to take 5-15 minutes a day to answer these questions one at time. Don't feel you have to answer all of them at once. Or see what questions arise within yourself, but without judgment. A little self-reflection and inquiry can go a LONG way.

Namaste ~

Trust and you shall receive

For years, it was really hard for me to trust myself and the decisions I made. I usually just went along with what everyone else did because it was just easier that way. No one would say anything or question me. Then I met my husband and it all changed. When we are talking about what we want to do for the evening or over the weekend or what to cook for dinner, if he decided something, I would just agree. He immediately would pick up on this and say, "Well, what do you want?" I would respond, "What you said. That sounds fine." Then he would said, "No, really. What would you like to do/eat?" This would start to send me into anxiety mode and I would start getting all flustered. And for what? This was the question on his face, and in later years, the question reflected right back to me.

Of course, over the past 4-5 years, I've learned to really check in with myself when questions or ideas are presented to me. I also have learned not to say, "yes" to everything because, in the past, that led to overbooking my time, leaving me with no time for what I wanted to do. Even if it was nothing! But allowing myself time and space to think and feel about choices is just one of things that yoga offers us. It's that quiet time that we give ourselves in meditation that allows us to connect with that deeper part of ourselves. It's the essence and the spirit/soul. It's trust and love.

I am ALLOWING myself to TRUST my intuition MORE around what I want to do along my path. Because it is MINE. Right?

It's not my mom's, my dad's, that ex-boyfriend's, the governments; it IS all mine. It's about what I want for myself in my relationships, health, career and business. Not what I should have, or HAVE to do.

For instance, I had an interview at a health club for a Massage Therapist position. This health club is very exclusive in the San Francisco Bay Area, and being located in the Financial District, it caters to the corporate community. I was early for my interview, and as I sat drinking my peppermint tea, I people-watched. "Wow" I said to myself. In the past, I would have said, "What am I doing here?!" with a lot of contempt. I also would have had the nervous flutters of butterflies in my stomach, but instead I was relaxed, comfortable, and going-with-the-flow. The chatter said, "Something must be wrong!" But in my heart, everything was perfect. The interview went so well, they asked me back for a practicum to demo my skills. I walked out of there feeling so confident and joyful! Then I recalled that email the day before from another business contacting me to come in for an interview and demo, and I my joy factor went from a 10 to a 100,000!

I'm realizing how manifestation and intention works, AND I'm receiving it! When an opportunity comes along, I'm open. I'm VERY aware when the chatter may chime in, but I know it's not true and it's not who I am or want. I'm trusting what comes and I'm not afraid of failure.

I welcome all opportunity and possibility. I listen to my intuition and heart because that's who I am.

I am not my thoughts. YOU are not your thoughts.

Trust in yourself and you will receive what you asked or prayed to the universe or higher being. You deserve it. So believe it!