Letting go of....

I'm feeling very melancholy on this foggy, wet Monday morning. I would like to say it's because of the weather; or that it's PMS. But I feel something within me that's letting go. Something that's not serving me anymore, but isn't exactly ready to leave. It's old. It's from the past. It's heavy.

It is an old way of being that needs acknowledgment; to be heard; to be understood; and to be loved. Although, I don't exactly know what it is right now, it's okay. I'm okay with that. There's no judgment. Just inquiry. Why does my abdomen feel fluttery? Why does my heart ache? Why can't I just let go?

That last question can really charge me, especially if someone asks me that from a place of anger or frustration. Is it really me, or is it something the other person can't let go of? Then again, it's okay to be angry; and it's unfortunate not everyone expresses their anger. It usually gets bottled up inside, and then explodes.

I wish I knew how to just "let go" of a feeling, thought, or situation. When I can't, that's when I know I need time to process the emotions because once I can do that, whatever it is that's eating me up, will evaporate and flow away. I will sit quietly and meditate, do yoga, talk to a friend, journal, or just cry.

I recognize my needs. I also do my best to recognize others' needs. But in any relationship, are we suppose to be mind-readers? I do my best to recognize this, but if I don't and it's important to that person, is it my responsibility to weed it out of them, or can the other play their part in expressing their needs?

These are just questions, and I'm asking them without blaming or judgment. I don't want to label anybody the "bad guy", so I can be the "good guy". That's not what it's about.

I feel we could all take more responsibility for our actions and emotions. I feel we could all be more open, honest, and authentic about how we really feel in the moment. Not a day, week, month or year ago. I feel it's important because we ALL matter. Everything we're about, matters, especially when we're in a relationship; at work; with our family; and to ourselves.

So my affirmations today are:

-I choose to learn
-I let go

These affirmations are from a VERY favorite blog I follow called The Daily Love. Click here to read the post that inspired me to write this one.

In love and light,
-Liz

Rekindling an old relationship

With yoga. I've had this itch and it's I'm missing my relationship with yoga. Although I don't want to dwell in the past, I remember being SOOOOO excited about practicing and going to class at the end of the day. The other night I came home from teaching a yoga class. It was about 10pm and I was still quite amped from the class, so I grabbed a book off the shelf, "Light on the Yoga: The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali" by BKS Iyengar. I remember reading this book in teacher training as it was required. At the time, I looked at this book as, I HAVE to read this, so I'll just plow through it to get it done. HA! I was 26 years old and had been living in San Francisco for almost a year. I was definitely in a different state of mind altogether. I still wanted to make more friends, party, etc. So I wasn't quite into "that part" of yoga.

Don't get me wrong! I valued and still value what I learned in teacher training, and don't regret the experience one bit. But as I sat on the couch the other night and read the first sutra with translation and description, I said out loud, "OOooooohhhhhhh! That's what's going on." I totally laughed at myself, but felt a spark in myself. I love reading something for the second time because you always catch something different you didn't the first time. The spark was to practice more, EVEN IF it's for 15 minutes. I know I've blogged about this before, but the more I think about it and feel how great I'm going to feel, I know it's gonna happen.

I want to be easy on myself. If I think I can only do 15 minutes, then I'll start with that and see where it takes me. I won't say, "I can't do it if I only have 15 minutes." Screw that attitude! I'm going to do what I can and love it! I want to read a Yoga Sutra a day; practice a pose that I know is challenging for me; and be present for everything that unfolds.

I want to breathe, be in my body, and love my body. That's what yoga means to me. And, boy, do we have a lot of catching up to do on the mat.

Money: A Love/Hate Relationship

I love money and I hate it.  What I would really like is to love it.  So why do I hate it too? This is an area of my life that I would really love to investigate further, but for now, this blog entry is probably going to be a rant and vent, so thanks for listening.

I guess I love money when I can actually use it towards things that are pleasurable such as trips, eating out, shopping, etc. Who doesn't?  I hate it when I have to pay a credit card company who jacked up their interest rates a gazillion times.  I don't mind money when I have to put it towards things like my car, for example, car insurance, gas, etc.  I love having a car and with a car, comes maintenance.  So that's fine. Rent. I could complain about the rates 'til the cows come home, but honestly I choose to live in an expensive city/area.

Now, I could go down the list of things and justify it, but I'll totally bore myself and repeat myself because I know why my money goes where it goes.  Presently, the primary obstacle that I have been running into is that I find out about certain yoga or dance workshops, classes, trainings that I'm interested in but can't put the money down.  Then I go into this whole shpeel that if I didn't have to pay this or that bill I could go. But what ends up happening is that I go down this negative spiral and end up blaming myself for all the debt I created in my life.  I feel sooooo done doing this to myself! My relationship with money has been a roller coaster these past few weeks and before that I thought I was doing okay.  So what gives? I would love to attend a workshop about money relationships, but you have to spend "money" to go. Hahahaha! See.

I, honestly, know deep down that I'm okay. Financially, I'm making it okay.  So why do I feel myself wanting more now! I feel worth more than what I'm making.  I've read about the Law of Attraction.  I always try to use those principles in order to get into a more positive vibe about money.  I guess there are those times when it just gets overwhelming, especially during the unknown times.  When you really don't know when money is going to come in.  It can be scary.  But it's going to be okay.

Changing your relationship with food

Food became this puzzle to me a few years ago. I began to notice sensitivities to certain foods I was eating such as wheat and gluten. I was amazed how it's in everything! I grew up eating it through my childhood, teenage and young adult years. Never noticed any patterns when I got sinus infections, problems and then allergies. However, I feel I have a hold on it and know if I choose to eat something (that may or may not agree with me), at least I know why I feel the way I do. I've also thought about vegetarianism and did it for about 6 months, but I honestly don't feel my body responded to it very well. I felt lethargic a lot at one point and decided to eat a little bit of chicken. POOF! my energy was back. Of course, I choose to eat the free-range, organic, grass-fed chicken as much as I can. In other words, the happy chicken! It's hard, especially if you really feel strongly about animal rights and the treatment towards animals in factory farms. But what do you do when certain diets aren't working for YOU? I love how using the principles of yoga can support this journey if that's the path you're on. For me, it's an ongoing thing. A path that I tend to step into at certain points in my life. When I step on the mat I always ask, "how do I feel right now?", "What does my body need?". What do you ask your body?


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(From Yoga Journal Daily Insight)

As the food industry relentlessly markets every fad diet and product, Americans are forgetting how to eat healthily and happily. Yoga can help you make better choices about what you eat—and skip the guilt.

Yoga's philosophy teaches us to make meals from plant-based foods that form the foundation of the food pyramid. The physical asana practice deepens your awareness of your body, so you become more conscious of foods that bring a consistent sense of well-being—and those that make you feel bad after you eat them. Over time, practitioners often find themselves in a more comfortable and relaxed relationship with food.

While yoga and meditation can help you navigate the choppy waters of the American food industry, success won't happen overnight. But as you practice, you can build the discipline, patience, and compassion to overcome the many forces arrayed against you—no matter how formidable they seem.

IN THIS ISSUE
If I Do Yoga, Am I Vegetarian?

http://www.yogajournal.com/lifestyle/280
Fear Factor

http://www.yogajournal.com/lifestyle/2020