Letting go of....

I'm feeling very melancholy on this foggy, wet Monday morning. I would like to say it's because of the weather; or that it's PMS. But I feel something within me that's letting go. Something that's not serving me anymore, but isn't exactly ready to leave. It's old. It's from the past. It's heavy.

It is an old way of being that needs acknowledgment; to be heard; to be understood; and to be loved. Although, I don't exactly know what it is right now, it's okay. I'm okay with that. There's no judgment. Just inquiry. Why does my abdomen feel fluttery? Why does my heart ache? Why can't I just let go?

That last question can really charge me, especially if someone asks me that from a place of anger or frustration. Is it really me, or is it something the other person can't let go of? Then again, it's okay to be angry; and it's unfortunate not everyone expresses their anger. It usually gets bottled up inside, and then explodes.

I wish I knew how to just "let go" of a feeling, thought, or situation. When I can't, that's when I know I need time to process the emotions because once I can do that, whatever it is that's eating me up, will evaporate and flow away. I will sit quietly and meditate, do yoga, talk to a friend, journal, or just cry.

I recognize my needs. I also do my best to recognize others' needs. But in any relationship, are we suppose to be mind-readers? I do my best to recognize this, but if I don't and it's important to that person, is it my responsibility to weed it out of them, or can the other play their part in expressing their needs?

These are just questions, and I'm asking them without blaming or judgment. I don't want to label anybody the "bad guy", so I can be the "good guy". That's not what it's about.

I feel we could all take more responsibility for our actions and emotions. I feel we could all be more open, honest, and authentic about how we really feel in the moment. Not a day, week, month or year ago. I feel it's important because we ALL matter. Everything we're about, matters, especially when we're in a relationship; at work; with our family; and to ourselves.

So my affirmations today are:

-I choose to learn
-I let go

These affirmations are from a VERY favorite blog I follow called The Daily Love. Click here to read the post that inspired me to write this one.

In love and light,
-Liz

Inspirations

I've done so much cleansing (energy cleansing) I don't know where to begin. I think it's funny I've been doing a cleanse, when a little while ago I said I didn't want to do a cleanse or detox, but I guess the Universe didn't mean the "food kind."

For the past month, I've been receiving weekly energy sessions, in exchange for Reflexology to complete my case study for my massage program hours. Let's say I've been REALLY getting into my body and soul/spirit. The following things I have been acknowledging and letting go of because they don't serve me anymore:

• money stories -- BYE BYE!
  
• religious/catholic stories (ie. "I'm going to hell" was the biggie!)
• fears, in general (especially about moving back to the east coast)

I definitely want to go into detail about each and every one of these things and I will. However, I want to express my inspirations, which are like my monthly intentions, but I want to do it without any meaning to it. In other words, just say what they are without any attachment or expectations, which I feel I've done a lot of, especially around my movement work, yoga and massage practices. After clearing, cleansing and letting go of this old energy, there's more room for inspirations. This is so very exciting for me, so let me dive right into it:

1. Movement work/practice - allowing myself to play with it without putting meaning or labeling to it. Over the past 3 years doing solo work, I feel my performances had to have meaning to it. My chatter was, "it has to mean something" or "it should mean something" and "people will think it's boring." I'm so done with that because I know what I do is wonderful, expressive, and engaging to others. Like art.
   
2. Yoga practice - allowing myself to play and create as I go along with my personal and and teaching practice. As with my movement practice, I can get stuck by the chatter. However, lately, I've been starting my yoga practice and classes with personal intentions and/or dedicating the practice to yourself or other people in your life. I want it to be a joyful, celebratory experience for me and others.
3. Massage practice -- I always want this to be FUN! Also, a wonderful way to connect with others and share my knowledge. Also, as I'm still completing program hours, I want it to continue to enrich me and provide more and more knowledge, so I can be the BEST Massage Therapist EVER.
4. Moving to the east coast -- being present to everything that comes up, especially the fear of the unknown. Although, I'll be surrounded by family, I want to always self-connect to my true being and allow myself quiet, meditative time when needed. Also, I want to remember I can still and always connect with my west coast community whenever I need to. They will always be with me. But, once again, I want the experience to be FUN!!!!!

So "FUN" is what I'm creating here. No matter what happens, allowing the experience to be fun because we're always learning as we go, and carrying knowledge from past experiences. I'm creating presence. It's not meant to hold us back, but to help us grow and transform. What holds us back is the chatter, or the "shouldas" or "what ifs." Thank you, but I'm good.