Return

There's a feeling of discombopulation when i return to san francisco from the east coast-home. i still consider it home because that's where i was brought up and all my family is still there. i definitely ran around, visiting people a lot. but there's always disappointment when i didn't see people i wanted to see. i mean i tried. i knew and was prepared that i only had a week to squeeze everyone in!

i know there will be another visit, but perhaps it's going to be more permanent. my husband and i have decided that we're going to move back to the east coast. we're giving ourselves another full year on the west coast to pay off some debt and go see some places we neglected to see in the past 6 years. it was really nice being home for the holidays and in general. having family and friends close whether it's a 5 minute drive or a 5 hour drive, it's pretty cool. i now have a lot of things to complete before this happens and i want them believe me. i must pace myself with that and know that i'm good and i'll do my best to complete them. i want to give myself space and time to complete these things until i return to the east coast. what a way to end the year.....

Going home....

Going home used to be a bunch of mixed feelings. Depending on the time of year, I would think about weather, how many people I could see in THE amount of time and was I going to have time to myself. sometimes these thoughts turned into worries and concerns and then eventually into anxiety attacks, but now it's more clear. a lot has happened in these past few months. joe and i had to go to the east coast twice. once unexpectedly because of a friend's passing and the other for a friend's wedding. 2 quite different extremes i must say. i look forward to seeing who i am going to see and hope to see. then a week ago finding out another person i knew passed away really gave me a shove, a push. what the fucks going? so many memories of this person began coming into my space and mind. i used to hang out with his sister all the time in elementary and middle school. then in high school, we went our different ways but still remained civil.

it's going home that reconnects me to the past while being in the present. it's very surreal and emotional just acknowledging it right now. being 3000 miles away from home is what makes it so surreal. then i go home and there's this energy in the air i don't know what to do with but just be with. as i would look on facebook of all the people who knew ivan, i would see faces of people who once knew me in the past. how disconnected i was from myself then. i would think, "did they see that?", "was i really not aware?". then again, it was high school. i wasn't a happy person inside even though i was a pro at showing it on the outside.

so i look forward to going home with so much comfort and ease now. i hope to meet up with some of these people and friends of the past. it's not to show them that i turned out fine, but to just see them again. talk to them. love them. i want to let go of all those judgments i had of myself and them. yes, i want freedom and joy! Bring it on universe!

happy holidays!

So what!

I can't stand sitting here at my desk, pondering, over and over, if I should go to class tonite. It's a 4 hour class, which is definitely a downer, but on a positive note I'll be seeing people I love and give/receive bodywork. So why do I still don't want to go? A part of me says, SO WHAT?! Don't go then. what's the big deal? you'll be able to make it up anyway. you have a whole year to make it up. why beat yourself up about it. I'm so sick of doing that. beating myself over stupid shit. i've worked so hard this past year and the year before that. my body needs a break. my mind needs a break. i can't wait to go home next week, so i know that's a reason for this feeling. this feeling of laziness, unmotivated. I'll be starting massage classes again next month/next year anyway and that motivates me because it's a brand new, fresh year! so why not save my energy for that? can someone help me justify this? or should i just say so what!? because that's how i really feel anyway. i can't wait to bring this up to my therapist. going with how i feel and what i need has been such a great break-through, great progress. the other con is that this whole week i've been feeling under the weather and that's usually a sign of i'm doing too much. man, do i have a history of doing WAY too much! i guess we'll just have to see how the day goes.....

Creation

I have learned that when I want something I need to write or talk about it. Creation and manifestation is happening all the time. I just joined this support group that was created for individuals who want to improve their wealth/abundance esteem. We all have our stories and beliefs about wealth, so our first meeting was how we define wealth and what is it to us. Lots of stuff both similar and different came out such as consistency, freedom, comfort, sharing. It wasn't necessarily about material things, but of course that does come up for people because there are "things" they would like to have in their lives. I know for me it's a sense of freedom and having that freedom to share with others. I know from the list, it's a combination of all of them.

As I was sitting at my desk about 15 minutes ago, I was thinking about my yoga teaching and where I want to go with it. There are so many avenues, it can get overwhelming sometimes. I want to create a style of yoga teaching that supports people wherever they're at. I guess that's why I call myself "MovingYogi" because we're constantly in flow and motion. I love to teach about being in the present; feeling what I and you feel right at this moment if you're in a yoga pose or not. Then again we are in some form of a pose if we stop and notice. So when someone comes up to me and asks me, "what kind of yoga you teach?", I usually go into a little rant about my training background. I know that can lose people's interest. I've been teaching for almost 5 years now, nonstop, and along the way have picked up other tools for myself and others. So how do I present that? how do I word that? I want it to feel true, honest and exciting. I want others to feel it too. So let the brainstorming and networking begin.....

Featured pose: Supported Bound Angle

One of my absolute FAVORITE restorative poses, supported bound angle or supta baddha konasana, eases many ailments. Some of them are:

-calms the nervous system
-eases pre-menstrual and menstrual cramps
-helps with digestion
-eases tension and headaches
-lowers blood pressure

This pose can be done with a bolster underneath your torso. If you don't have a bolster, roll 2-3 blankets. If your hips tend to be tight, place folded blankets under each thigh so your legs can fully relax. This pose is all about being supported! It can also be done with or without a belt, but the belt just makes it more juicier.

What are you grateful for right now?

This is definitely the time to think about that. What am I grateful for right now? It doesn't have to be a special holiday. You can do it whenever you want. Everyday. Every minute. Every second. I am grateful right now for my husband for being so loving and accepting of my being. No matter what I do or what I say, he's so open and accepting. I can't think of another gift to have. To add on to that, I'm grateful for my job, the chair I'm sitting in as I write this, my friends, family, the community of amazing beings that I surround myself with everyday of my life, the person who prepared my soy chai latte this morning, the air I breath, the body that allows me to what I'm passionate about--dancing, yoga, moving, what else? I could go on and on! So I definitely have learned and appreciated that these things we're grateful for don't have to be these huge, in-depth declarations. They can be simple and small which I feel are so huge anyway.

So what you grateful for RIGHT NOW???!!!!!

Bring Balance Home

Why do you do yoga? If you just started, or are thinking about it, what inspired you? If you don't practice yoga, what tools do you use to create a sense of balance for yourself? I loved reading this article because it's such a nice reminder for me. When I go too long without practicing, my body feels it, emotionally and physically. When I've REALLY gone too long, I feel really disconnected with myself. That's the reason I always go back to the mat. I always find something new or something I had put aside for another time. I feel we all are striving for some form of balance in our life, whether we know it or not.

After receiving some amazing energy and bodywork the other day, my theme came out to be "Integration". This means all the tools have in movement, dance, yoga, coaching and massage, and being able to mesh them together in a business. Perhaps that's why I call my biz "Moving Yogi"? There's always a constant flow of these tools and teachings within me that may surface more than the other. I've been realizing that over the past year, especially since I've added massage to box. Of course, there's a lot of mind chatter that wants to impede on this journey, this realization, which is fine and Thank you, Mind Chatter! But I know what's real, what feels good and what's right to me in my path. As for this article's theme and title, "Bring Balance Home", I literally want to bring it home to me, within me and around me. I can use yoga and meditation to access this and help others access it. I want to integrate yoga and coaching, yoga and dance, yoga and massage, massage and coaching, massage and movement, etc., etc., etc.........


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(From yogajournal.com daily insight)

There's a reason we refer to our yoga as "practice": It's an opportunity to practice whatever qualities we want to see more of in our lives. Sometimes we do yoga to cultivate patience, clarity, or bravery. Other times, our list is more tangible: We want a strong upper body, increased energy, or open hips. The reasons we practice inevitably change as we go through career moves, love affairs, pregnancies, and other life transitions.

They also change from day to day. Developing a personal yoga practice allows us to devise a specific program to give ourselves what we really need at any given time. We get on the mat whenever we can, for whatever length of time, in whatever amount of space is available to us. This practical approach is a first step toward integrating yoga into everyday life.

Today, why not try unrolling your mat and practicing a little on your own. Even if it's just for 15 minutes at a time, the work you do at home will strengthen your practice by making you a more conscious and independent yoga practitioner. Even if you prematurely give up on a pose that makes you feel uncomfortable or forget a sequence you're working on, each small home practice session will help you build up to a longer, more meaningful home practice.

IN THIS ISSUE
Why Do We Practice?

http://www.yogajournal.com/basics/1153
Bringing Your Practice Home

http://www.yogajournal.com/basics/819