Inspirations

I've done so much cleansing (energy cleansing) I don't know where to begin. I think it's funny I've been doing a cleanse, when a little while ago I said I didn't want to do a cleanse or detox, but I guess the Universe didn't mean the "food kind."

For the past month, I've been receiving weekly energy sessions, in exchange for Reflexology to complete my case study for my massage program hours. Let's say I've been REALLY getting into my body and soul/spirit. The following things I have been acknowledging and letting go of because they don't serve me anymore:

• money stories -- BYE BYE!
  
• religious/catholic stories (ie. "I'm going to hell" was the biggie!)
• fears, in general (especially about moving back to the east coast)

I definitely want to go into detail about each and every one of these things and I will. However, I want to express my inspirations, which are like my monthly intentions, but I want to do it without any meaning to it. In other words, just say what they are without any attachment or expectations, which I feel I've done a lot of, especially around my movement work, yoga and massage practices. After clearing, cleansing and letting go of this old energy, there's more room for inspirations. This is so very exciting for me, so let me dive right into it:

1. Movement work/practice - allowing myself to play with it without putting meaning or labeling to it. Over the past 3 years doing solo work, I feel my performances had to have meaning to it. My chatter was, "it has to mean something" or "it should mean something" and "people will think it's boring." I'm so done with that because I know what I do is wonderful, expressive, and engaging to others. Like art.
   
2. Yoga practice - allowing myself to play and create as I go along with my personal and and teaching practice. As with my movement practice, I can get stuck by the chatter. However, lately, I've been starting my yoga practice and classes with personal intentions and/or dedicating the practice to yourself or other people in your life. I want it to be a joyful, celebratory experience for me and others.
3. Massage practice -- I always want this to be FUN! Also, a wonderful way to connect with others and share my knowledge. Also, as I'm still completing program hours, I want it to continue to enrich me and provide more and more knowledge, so I can be the BEST Massage Therapist EVER.
4. Moving to the east coast -- being present to everything that comes up, especially the fear of the unknown. Although, I'll be surrounded by family, I want to always self-connect to my true being and allow myself quiet, meditative time when needed. Also, I want to remember I can still and always connect with my west coast community whenever I need to. They will always be with me. But, once again, I want the experience to be FUN!!!!!

So "FUN" is what I'm creating here. No matter what happens, allowing the experience to be fun because we're always learning as we go, and carrying knowledge from past experiences. I'm creating presence. It's not meant to hold us back, but to help us grow and transform. What holds us back is the chatter, or the "shouldas" or "what ifs." Thank you, but I'm good.

5 Questions for Yogis to Ask Themselves from Yoga Journal Blog

5 Questions For Yogis to Ask Themselves | Top Five Tuesdays | Yoga Blog | Yoga Journal


I have been asking myself similar questions this year. Falling off the wagon can be so easy (for me), but getting back is not so easy, especially if you've been off it awhile! I've started to get back into my yoga practice and study one baby step at a time. I even cut down on the teaching as of this year because I was feeling so drained from teaching a class. I also started opening up a yoga book here and there. I really appreciated this blog post from Yoga Journal (see full post by clicking the link above). It was no accident I read this. As I've mentioned in previous blogs, I miss my connection with yoga! I know I lost my intention and purpose along the way somewhere, and that's okay, we all do! But it's time to reconnect that spark again.

As for the final question below, "when you take a step back to think about your practice as a whole, what questions do you ask?" Lately, for me, it's been, "why am I still doing this?" "Why do I still get onto my mat?" "What is this doing for me?"

If your a yoga student, practitioner, and/or teacher, do you fall off the wagon of practicing and attending classes? What do you do about it? Check out the questions below from the Yoga Journal Blog:

1. What is the real intention behind my yoga practice?

2. Am I getting the results I'm seeking from this style/school/teacher/class? Should I even worry about results?

3. Do I really feel better after I practice than before? Am I more energized or less? Is my mind calmer and less stressed? Is rushing to get to the studio more trouble than it's worth?

4. Am I too comfortable with my current sequence/teacher/studio? Is it time for a change? Should I force change or let it evolve naturally?

5. Should I devote more time to my yoga practice or explore new ways to de-stress?

When you take a step back to think about your practice as a whole, what questions do you ask?

April Intentions

Man! Before we know it, April will be over! Ha! Even though, I will be continuing many of my intentions from last month, I wanted to set some new ones for this month:

• Call NYS Education Dept regarding massage license transfer (this one is going to be such a HUGE process, I need to do this in baby steps!)
• Attend a yoga class
• Purchase SD card for my Macbook laptop, so I can transfer video easily
• Finish questions on "Cultivating a Private Practice" for movement group/practice

Since we're into the second week of April, I feel this is a good, do-able amount for me. I've been REALLY good about not being hard on myself and I want this to continue. I'm all about the flow these days.

Rekindling an old relationship

With yoga. I've had this itch and it's I'm missing my relationship with yoga. Although I don't want to dwell in the past, I remember being SOOOOO excited about practicing and going to class at the end of the day. The other night I came home from teaching a yoga class. It was about 10pm and I was still quite amped from the class, so I grabbed a book off the shelf, "Light on the Yoga: The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali" by BKS Iyengar. I remember reading this book in teacher training as it was required. At the time, I looked at this book as, I HAVE to read this, so I'll just plow through it to get it done. HA! I was 26 years old and had been living in San Francisco for almost a year. I was definitely in a different state of mind altogether. I still wanted to make more friends, party, etc. So I wasn't quite into "that part" of yoga.

Don't get me wrong! I valued and still value what I learned in teacher training, and don't regret the experience one bit. But as I sat on the couch the other night and read the first sutra with translation and description, I said out loud, "OOooooohhhhhhh! That's what's going on." I totally laughed at myself, but felt a spark in myself. I love reading something for the second time because you always catch something different you didn't the first time. The spark was to practice more, EVEN IF it's for 15 minutes. I know I've blogged about this before, but the more I think about it and feel how great I'm going to feel, I know it's gonna happen.

I want to be easy on myself. If I think I can only do 15 minutes, then I'll start with that and see where it takes me. I won't say, "I can't do it if I only have 15 minutes." Screw that attitude! I'm going to do what I can and love it! I want to read a Yoga Sutra a day; practice a pose that I know is challenging for me; and be present for everything that unfolds.

I want to breathe, be in my body, and love my body. That's what yoga means to me. And, boy, do we have a lot of catching up to do on the mat.