Ignite, open, surrender!

I will be teaching Hatha Flow Yoga tonight at the Westside Arthouse, 7:30pm-9:00pm. Tonight we will use our core to ignite and awaken our energy, open the body and mind with twists and hip openers, and then surrender into our souls with gentle forward bends. Go to my yoga page for details, www.movingyogi.com

Lymphatic Massage: A way to clear the clutter in your body

Have you been feeling tired or sick? Have you been traveling a lot this summer in the car or on planes? Has there been more stress in your life? Or, have you decided to let go of an old way of being and live a more energized, optimal way
of being? Lymphatic Massage is a wonderful way to de-clutter the body of toxins from the foods we eat, the environment that surround us, and even stress (physical, mental, emotional) that may throw our bodies and minds off balance.

The Lymphatic System works with the Immune System of the body as a detoxification system. We have many lymph node stations in the body that collect and move anything toxic or foreign out of the body. The toxins leave our bodies through mucous, sweat, and when we go to the bathroom. Unlike the Circulatory System, which has the heart to pump the blood, oxygen and nutrients throughout the body, the Lymphatic System relies on stimulation through exercise, breathing, and, of course, massage/bodywork.

A Lymphatic massage will boost your immune system, give you more energy, and release any pain or discomfort in the body due to trauma (i.e. car accidents, surgeries, grief and loss). It also helps you process through a time of transition or change because when we worry or feel a little depressed, our bodies, especially the Immune System, are effected.

Lymphatic massage is my specialty and I have benefited tremendously from this work myself. If you would like more information or to book a Lymphatic Massage session, contact me today: 415-637-5825 or lizsfilippone@gmail.com.

Inspirations

I've done so much cleansing (energy cleansing) I don't know where to begin. I think it's funny I've been doing a cleanse, when a little while ago I said I didn't want to do a cleanse or detox, but I guess the Universe didn't mean the "food kind."

For the past month, I've been receiving weekly energy sessions, in exchange for Reflexology to complete my case study for my massage program hours. Let's say I've been REALLY getting into my body and soul/spirit. The following things I have been acknowledging and letting go of because they don't serve me anymore:

• money stories -- BYE BYE!
  
• religious/catholic stories (ie. "I'm going to hell" was the biggie!)
• fears, in general (especially about moving back to the east coast)

I definitely want to go into detail about each and every one of these things and I will. However, I want to express my inspirations, which are like my monthly intentions, but I want to do it without any meaning to it. In other words, just say what they are without any attachment or expectations, which I feel I've done a lot of, especially around my movement work, yoga and massage practices. After clearing, cleansing and letting go of this old energy, there's more room for inspirations. This is so very exciting for me, so let me dive right into it:

1. Movement work/practice - allowing myself to play with it without putting meaning or labeling to it. Over the past 3 years doing solo work, I feel my performances had to have meaning to it. My chatter was, "it has to mean something" or "it should mean something" and "people will think it's boring." I'm so done with that because I know what I do is wonderful, expressive, and engaging to others. Like art.
   
2. Yoga practice - allowing myself to play and create as I go along with my personal and and teaching practice. As with my movement practice, I can get stuck by the chatter. However, lately, I've been starting my yoga practice and classes with personal intentions and/or dedicating the practice to yourself or other people in your life. I want it to be a joyful, celebratory experience for me and others.
3. Massage practice -- I always want this to be FUN! Also, a wonderful way to connect with others and share my knowledge. Also, as I'm still completing program hours, I want it to continue to enrich me and provide more and more knowledge, so I can be the BEST Massage Therapist EVER.
4. Moving to the east coast -- being present to everything that comes up, especially the fear of the unknown. Although, I'll be surrounded by family, I want to always self-connect to my true being and allow myself quiet, meditative time when needed. Also, I want to remember I can still and always connect with my west coast community whenever I need to. They will always be with me. But, once again, I want the experience to be FUN!!!!!

So "FUN" is what I'm creating here. No matter what happens, allowing the experience to be fun because we're always learning as we go, and carrying knowledge from past experiences. I'm creating presence. It's not meant to hold us back, but to help us grow and transform. What holds us back is the chatter, or the "shouldas" or "what ifs." Thank you, but I'm good.

Emotional Storage Space

Last week, I received some bodywork/energy work and had an emotional release during the session. I felt better, but it didn't last. The very next day my throat started getting sore. I felt fine otherwise; no fever, or other cold-like symptoms. I decided to just watch it and see what happens.

The week went on, the sore throat got worse, but still, no other symptoms. I came to one conclusion that this was more energetic/emotional than an actual microbial infection. I was having memories from middle school; the sixth grade. I had reoccurring tonsilitis; and my parents just got divorce. I know at the time I was storing a lot of anger and grief about that, and at the time, didn't know how to express it. But now I'm so much more aware and have the tools to support me with expressing my emotions and needs. I know as an eleven year old, I was needing some understanding!

Then I received a lymphatic massage session on Saturday, which drew me to my other conclusion. I felt LOTS of stuff move, and even felt nausea for a moment. Also, every time my practitioner worked on my left hip side (pelvic/ovary area), which is a lymph node station, my body would tense and resist. Afterward, I received some coaching, which was really nice. I got clear on some other things I've been holding on to. I've held a lot of fear in my pelvis. Fear of being feminine. Fear of my intuition. Fear of my power. My practitioner pointed out to me that I could be going through a mini-death; a transition from an old way of being to a new way of being: Being a mother. In the past, I used to hold a lot of fear around being a mom and being pregnant. My chatter was, "how can I take care of someone else, when I can't even take care of myself?", "I'm too screwed up to be mom", or "I wouldn't be a good mom because I don't take care of myself or my relationships." I know I'm not the only one who has this chatter. I realize now that a lot of women have the same fears.

I want to be more aware and committed to nurturing this part of myself. I want to acknowledge that old way of being and embrace, accept and love the new way of being. I feel it in my body that I want to have a baby. It feels joyful, happy, and my right.

According to Anodea Judith's book, "Eastern Body, Western Mind", she explains the seven chakra centers as our seven rights. Since this past week was about my 2nd and 5th, the 2nd chakra (lower abdomen/pelvis) is the right to feel; and the 5th chakra (throat area/mouth) is the right to speak. In the past, there were many reasons why I didn't feel/think I had the right to feel or speak up for myself or express my emotions. But now I want to celebrate them! I want to move that energy in a positive, healthy way. I'm done with storing and hiding it away. I want it to be present.

Do you have a storage space in your body?

Hormones need space

They can be so brutal sometimes. I don't mean this in a bad way necessarily. I do appreciate them because they do regulate things in my body and mine are pretty healthy as far as I know. So YAY to that! But in the past week they've been bringing up stuff.

A week ago, I had a night I couldn't sleep. Then over the past weekend, I experienced some PMS symptoms that I haven't felt in a LONG time. A lot of sadness and grief came up. I've been missing my family back east and my recently passed Nana and Baba. In the past, I used to have really bad PMS, to the point where I just let it take me over. But now, since my awareness has increased, that doesn't happen so much. In fact, I allowed myself to experience it all.

On Sunday, it was all psychological. I was anxious and moody. Everything seemed to trigger me. I got support from my husband, as well as a friend. I also had some time alone, which was the best because I had a nice, healthy cry. Then I took a bath with some lavendar oil. What a concept! Take a break, give myself and those a hormones some space! Didn't women do this WAY BACK in the day? Didn't they, and everyone in the community, honor it? There's a book called "The Red Tent" that reflects this practice. I haven't read it yet, but plan to. So after taking the bath, I felt a little better.

Then Monday came it was all somatic. My body ached and I had brain fog. Again, when I got home, I took a bath with lavender and it eased the tension, so I could feel. I couldn't sleep that night either, but this time it only took an hour for me to fall asleep. As I laid in bed, I ran my energy pattern, a technique used in a lot of different energy work. I drew my attention to my right foot and started to trace a path up my leg, but it kept stopping at my pelvis. I did this 3 more times and it stopped in the same place, so I gave all my attention and breath to this area. It made sense, especially for this time of the month. Even my ovaries were active. After about 5 minutes, I started the path again and it went all the way up my body and didn't stop. I could finally go to sleep. YAY!

I really feel it's important for women to honor these times in their lives. We really don't do it enough. We tend to hold it in, and then forget to release it. I feel my hormones triggered these emotions of grief sadness for a reason. It's as if a part of my body needed to release it, and then my hormones were there as a back up. To let me know, there's some stuff that just has to go. I used to judge and criticize myself for feeling the way I feel during this time of the month, but not anymore. It's apart of a woman's life, so it's time to embrace it and not fight it.

Celebration time

I, finally, finished my physiology modality for massage. YAY! I'm so excited to be completing the hours I missed. Although, I have all my required hours in for quite sometime, it's nice to actually clear some of the energy around that.

I was talking to one of my massage classmates/friend last night about it. She feels the same way, in that she's ready to clear the energy around completing the program. Even though, we got the state-required hours, getting that certificate of completion from school feels needed too. I guess we all have different intentions around that. I say, "why not just do it!"

So YAY for checking that one off! And there will be more "YAYS" coming soon!

Listening to Our Body...Again

I reread this post I wrote back in February. Boy, was there some "stuff" going on! I'm re-realizing that the body never lies. We need to listen to it and be with it, which is what yoga and massage has taught me. I recently had an Aura Balancing session (energy/chakra balancing) from a good friend of mine, who is an energyworker, clairvoyant and life coach. I went to her because I felt very blocked in areas of my body, especially my throat and chest area. For the past few weeks, I've been grieving loss. Loss of people, and parts of me that I have needed to let go of. As my yoga practice has involved Yin and restorative postures these days, being still and quiet has allowed this grief to surface and be free of my body. I've learned new ways to ground myself and protect myself. In the past, I always took on other people's "stuff", and what I mean by stuff is their moods, emotions, experiences, presence, etc. Let's just say "vibes". Have you ever walked into a room, or encountered a person, and felt something off or shift? It's like the air stretches or changes volume around them, depending on what's going with them. Sometimes those people or places have a positive vibe, and sometimes they don't. For a long time, I was a sponge and would absorb all the negative vibes from people and places. Instead of letting it go, I took it on for some reason.

When I was younger, it was a way to relate to people or to feel that I belonged. Over the years, my body's energy became drained, and now, it's done with that. There are other ways-healthy ways-to relate with people. There are healthy ways to be with people, who aren't exactly in a well-balanced state, but that doesn't mean you have to go there too! We can meet them where their at with distance and still be in close proximity. I want to share a great grounding-meditation exercise to help protect yourself from any negative vibes you may encounter throughout your day. It's also just a great way to unwind. As a yoga teacher, massage therapist and coach, if you're constantly around different people throughout your day, and can leave you energized or drained. Something to think about and be aware of, especially around the holidays.

Take 5 or 10 minutes to do this exercise:

First, find a quiet place and sit either in a chair or on the floor. You want your feet on the ground. Close your eyes and take a few deep, belly breaths. Extend both arms straight up toward the sky with palms up, and then bring them down slowly to the sides like your drawing a circle around you. Imagine a sphere of space (this is your aura) five feet in front, above, below and the sides of you. Then place all your energy and the energy you may have picked up from others or places and send it above your head down through your crown, third eye, throat, chest/heart, abdomen, pelvis, until you get to the tip of tailbone. Place all that energy in a ball with any color that comes to you (something soothing). Imagine a cord of that color from the ball, and send the energy down into the ground so deep it gets to the earth's core and say to yourself or out loud, "I release this energy to the earth." Then imagine a crystal, white ball of clean, bright light and send that back up the cord letting it cover your feet, legs, pelvis, trunk, neck and head, then allow it to burst over your head, covering your aura. Feel this new, earth energy soothe your whole body, mind and spirit. Then find your feet and take a few long, deep belly breaths.

Try this at the end of the day before you go to bed and then again in the morning. I find sometimes I do it in the middle of the day, depending on what kind of day I'm having. If I'm inspired by affirmations or yogic chant phrases at the end such as, "so hum", which means, "I am that". I say it over and over again to myself or out loud and just sit with it, allowing my mind to quieten. The more you do this exercise, the easier and quicker you feel grounded and clear. If you have any essential oils from trees such as cypress or frankincense, rub some into your palms and wrists before you do the exercise, breathing in the aroma from the oils. It's a nice treat to add to the whole experience.

I know I just ranted about other people's energy, but it really can effect us if we are not aware. Overtime, our energy can become stagnant for a variety of reasons--age, illness, injuries, etc. But can you remember when that part of your body began feeling that way? What was happening in your life at the time? Who was there? Some interesting queries to consider.

Namaste

Resistance leads to persistance

I get daily insight emailed to me from Yoga Journal everyday, and this one came yesterday. Couldn't have been at a better time! As I've been allowing myself more free time, it's been clear to me that I really need more of it. For years, my strategies for coping with stress and anxiety is to do, Do, DO! Instead of feeling my emotions, I would resist them by overloading my schedule so much, it would leave me depleted and tired. When I would have an opening, I would diligently search for something else to fill it with. One of my teachers in my coaching program always says, "If you resist, it will persist." In other words, it won't go away if you ignore it. It will always come back and bite you in the ass before you least expect it.

I want to share the articles below that inspired me to share and write about this because I've been doing a lot of healing from grief and loss this past week. Once I allowed myself a break, all the sadness surfaced and was freed from my body. I know I was holding onto some people I've lost in my life, and could very well still be. But what's important is that it was acknowledged.

Yin yoga is the practice that's been supporting me. Yin yoga is a style of yoga, where you hold poses (usually floor poses) for 3-5 minutes. The holding is what allows the connective tissues around the muscles and joints to open and stretch releasing any blockages or stuck energy and/or emotions. It's like giving yourself an acupuncture/acupressure session because the poses are also stimulating the meridians, or flow of energy/chi which correspond to organs and systems of the body. I love this style because it really allows (and makes) me be in my body. I'm so happy to have reconnected with this practice and style because it's reminded me to, not only be in my body, but to love my body wherever it's at, physically and emotionally.

I hope you enjoy the articles!

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From Yoga Journal Daily Insights

Resistance becomes a problem when the psychological immune system doesn't know when or how to let down its boundaries. Then resistance stops being a useful filtering device and becomes a wall, a kind of armor. Sometimes the habit of resisting is so deeply ingrained that you can't tell whether your inner "no" is a legitimate warning or just obstructive. You can live for years with a tendency to resistance that reveals itself in insidious ways: as an inclination to slide away from intimacy; a habit of avoiding difficult emotions by sleeping or watching TV; or simply the onset of restlessness, anxiety, or boredom that keeps you from resting in the present moment. Then, when you truly want to make a change, the wall of resistance can seem impenetrable.

Developing an awareness of your resistance style is the first step in working with it. Yoga and meditation often help develop and break through these styles of resistance. Try to respect your feelings of resistance as well as let the feelings that seem less beneficial to your life dissolve. Part of this is pure conditioning from those deep-seated beliefs that success, love, meaningful work, social justice, and whatever else you value come from outer-directed effort and that inwardness is somehow a waste of time. More often, however, the resistance stems from fear—fear of your emotions, fear of the unknown, and, finally, fear of your own essence, your own grandeur. To move past resistance in your practice is to free yourself in ways you have never anticipated.

Read more:

http://www.yogajournal.com/wisdom/2516

http://www.yogajournal.com/practice/2580

Patterns and Re-patterning

We all have patterns and habits of being.  They're neither good or bad because it's a way of survival through our experience.  I had a re-patterning session yesterday and I dug up a lot of "stuff" than I thought I would. I knew it was there, and had been there for quite sometime. 

My pattern(s) is I'm not worthy and I don't belong.  For years (and I'm going back to middle school), I always struggled to belong to something or with a "group." I need(ed) community, acknowledgment, to be seen, to be heard.  During my middle schools years, it usually got me in trouble or feeling more unworthy.  Then there were years when this pattern didn't show up as much, but came back (which is what they do. They never really go away!). 

Lately, for me, there was a certain person who kept popping into my mind.  A person, who was my friend for a few years, but then seemed to fall out of my radar and, eventually moved away.  It was when every time I would think of this person, it brought back these patterns and feelings.  I would say to myself "what is that about?!"  It was those feelings of not belonging.  There were times hanging out with this person, I felt not worthy enough to hang out with them.  Yep, I felt like 12 or 13 years old again.  I know I was done with that.  Maybe that's because we went our separate ways? I don't know.

During my re-patterning session, it was amazing the mind chatter that came up.  I really started to acknowledge it, which had never been done.  It brought up some tears of anger and sadness I had kept buried for years.  It was finally becoming known.  It was given the space that it longed for.  I felt a sense of freedom just saying it, "Why can't I be popular?" "What's wrong with me?" "Why did she have to be such a bitch?"  Just typing them brings on some relief.  After saying it, I had a huge belly release of laughter.  I had tingling sensations that traveled down into my feet.  The energy moved and is still moving! Feelings of compassion began to enter through me.  I didn't feel scared or unsure of myself.  I felt love.

At the end of the session, my coach suggested a new pattern to replace the old ones. A positive affirmation to say to myself everyday.  We came up with, "I am perfect just the way I am." When I said it out loud, it felt good.  I felt empowered and liberated.  Again, I was amazed at how much space I felt in my body.  Those patterns were really taking up a lot of space.

What are your patterns? What things do you say about or to yourself?  Write them down and see if you can track them. When did you first start saying these things? What was happening in your life?

I know it's a lot to think about and feel.

Death

it's hard being so far away when someone you love dies.  my nana was strong all the way through but her little body just got tuckered out.  i'm glad i got to see her one last time last weekend before she exited from the earth.  now it's back home again to say those last good-byes and i-love-yous.

death is an interesting thing.  we hope our loved ones live on in another place. a beautiful, calm place.  we are all energy and we don't really die, it's only the bodies that we inhabit for our time on earth. at least that's what i believe and there are many beliefs out there.  as i stood next to her, even though she was out because of the morphine, i know she could hear me.  little twitches and even smiles would show and that comforted me.  pictures of my grandfather, baba, were next to her and i knew he was there.  he was there waiting for her. waiting to ease her suffering. waiting so that their souls can be together forever.  as i thought these things, i felt so many emotions: sadness, love and pain, but it was beautiful. it was peaceful. it was profound.  being with death is a powerful thing because you think of your own mortality and those present in your life.  you also think of those who have already transcended which can be good because it's undone grief.

i know she's at peace now.  i know she's reunited with my grandfather and all her family and friends who, too have passed.  what things can we do for ourselves during this time?

it's amazing how my appetite has decreased, even my water intake. i force myself to just do eat and drink because i know i have to.  i know things will get easier no matter how long the funk is here. it's temporary and i will move through it.  right now it's about moving through the funk no matter how thick, a sludgy it is.  gotta get through the dark to get to light.

with everyone still

I had a hard time falling asleep last night.  I feel after the weekend I had at the Butoh Ritual Mexicano workshop, I'm still feeling everyone's energy and there was a point last night when I wanted it to stop.  Of course, I have many people I love with me within my heart, but I've learned how to guard and shield myself in a healthy way, so I don't take on others' energy.  However, I let my guard down over the weekend and it drained me.  I have continued to take care of myself since then, but last night was intense and just loud.  Making all those connections with people was truly powerful, beautiful and profound, but I feel I took on too much at a point. 

Now I feel I'm recovering on an energy body level, not quite all physical and mental/emotional.  Last night, I was still with everyone and they were with me.  There was this sense of attachment which could have been both positive and negative. Healthy and unhealthy.  I don't like it and I like it.  It's a true paradox I find myself in now and for quite some time.  I'm going to seek advice from my friends who are energy workers and deal with this on a daily basis.  I know it'll be okay, it's just an uneasy feeling.

Body tells mind, mind tells body

It's like the yin and yang, back and forth, infinity. In regards to my previous post, a lot came up for me around my 2nd chakra. It's where the reproductive organs are, sexual energy live and breathe. It's an area that I've had trauma and for a long period of time never felt good about. I know in the past, I stored ex-boyfriends there, which resulted in a lot of negative energy and self-hatred in this area. While sitting in my therapy session last week, my therapist had me check in with myself around this area. My therapist does a lot of somatic work which has been so beneficial for me in my journey. When she asked me to do this, it was like my mind said no and my body said yes. I began to speak and feel more from my body then with my head. I realized how much I wanted to completely shut myself off from my 2nd chakra, my hips, my womb, my feminine. All my body could feel was ugly, gross, dirty, unhealthy. However, I knew in my mind that this wasn't true, but my body felt it. I, then realized, this was my body talking. Talking of old feelings and beliefs that I once told myself and this area. My higher conscious wanted to disconnect, but there was a struggle to hold on. To wait. To want. To love.

Being able to love this area is very difficult for me and for a lot of people. Do we really take the time to acknowledge ourselves and say I love you? For me, there hasn't been much love in this area. In the past year, it's certainly grown more, but since the a new project has occurred in this area, these past beliefs have been triggered. They still live in there, even though I firmly believe they're not true. It's interesting what can come up and out.

Over the weekend, I had some emotional release from this area. During the Yoga Journal conference, I cried in all 3 sessions I took. One of the workshop sessions was about chakra purification (how appropriate!), the second was integrating yin yoga and the third was about prayer and empowerment. All the yoga we did was hip openers. It was as if the universe guided me to register for these workshops. And/or my body guided me toward these themes because it's what it needed. It sure did. I've begun to realize there's no such thing as accidents. Things happen for a reason whether we like it or not. People come into our lives for a reason whether we love them or not. What's the universe trying to tell us when these things happen? What innate force is pulling us towards them or them towards us? We are beings of creation and we strive for love in everything and everyone. It's time to wake up. I believe it's a year of awakening.

Save your Energy

This past week, my energy has felt pretty drained. But I feel today I'm slowly getting it back. I have so much going on right now, my body is telling me to stop. I love massage school, but working full time and choreographing a new dance piece is leaving me with no time to myself or with my hubby and loved ones in my life. I know we have to make sacrifices, in order to have what we want, but if you're getting physically ill or breaking down emotionally, there's gotta be a point to STOP! Let's be with what's happening. I had a "Ah Ha" moment yesterday with a coworker as I was talking about it. In the past, I've been hard on myself when I wasn't able to complete something. I would push myself that at times I would get sick or resentful of what I was doing. There were so many times when I just wanted to quick doing yoga, but another part of me was saying that it's okay to feel that way. Why don't I just take a break? I'm learning my limits and boundaries this week. In other words, it's important to take care of ourselves and if we need to slow down it's okay. It's accepting how far one can go and just being with that. It's also okay to ask for support from others. You don't have to do it all on your own. I do this in my yoga practice and when I teach others in poses. Hey, why don't I just practice it into my daily life!?! Duh! LOL.

I'm glad I can laugh about it now because in the past, I would just dwell in it. I have acknowledged what I'm grateful for and that's what matters:
I'm grateful for my health, my job, my career path, my husband, friends, family, my life experiences, this computer I'm using to type this, the food I ate for breakfast, the sun, and all earthly creations!
Just doing that brought my energy up. I want to bask in joy!

My Practice

I thought I would journal about my personal yoga practices for my own growth and to share for others who are on their own path.

Last night I practiced for an hour. I started with some Yin yoga to loosen and juice up the joints and connective tissues--butterfly, saddle, seal/sphinx, child's & shoelace pose. What I love about Yin yoga is the holding of the poses and the meditative state that emerges within. Also the breath becomes, almost hypnotic. Then I moved into a more Yang (active) practice--sun salutations, standing poses. It was when I got to the floor that things started to happen. I decided to do some seated twists. A week ago I had some energy work done and I had a lot of blockage in my spleen area. The energy work, of course helped release this and I did process with the practitioner afterward. However, as I was twisting to my left (toward the spleen) I started feeling agitated and antsy. I thought this should be more associated on the right side since that's where the liver resides and is connected more with anger according to Chinese Medicine. So I decided to lay down with my feet on the floor and just be with the sensations and emotions which shifted to sadness. This made more sense to me, as in my energy session I released with a lot of tears and feelings of sadness. I know I have a lot of emotional stuff hanging out in my abdominal so I know it's connected to the sadness.

I really want to investigate this more with myself as I go deeper in my yoga practice. I love how yoga gives you an opportunity to get to know yourself.