Ignite, open, surrender!

I will be teaching Hatha Flow Yoga tonight at the Westside Arthouse, 7:30pm-9:00pm. Tonight we will use our core to ignite and awaken our energy, open the body and mind with twists and hip openers, and then surrender into our souls with gentle forward bends. Go to my yoga page for details, www.movingyogi.com

Why I do yoga

This was a question I posed for myself in the previous post. As I practice yoga on a (almost) daily basis, I ask myself in the beginning of the practice, "Why do I practice yoga?", and then see where it leads me. Sometimes I forget I even asked myself this question, and continue on with my practice and day. Last Tuesday, when I taught my Hatha Flow class, one of the students talked about when and why she started doing yoga, and then asked me the same question. I bless this student for reminding me! I talked about when I was 21 years old, getting ready to graduate college, I began making changes in my life. I began changing the relationships I had with friends, family, and partners. I started to meet new people who had more awareness of body, mind and spirit and introduced me to different practices such as yoga, butoh dance, and meditation. I also discovered Whole Foods, and started looking at food a little differently too. But it comes back to yoga. It comes to the question, was it a coincidence that I began taking yoga classes during this transition in my life? Or was there a reason?

With all the hours of studying and training I've received in the past ten years, "coincidence" has faded from my vocabulary. I believe there is a reason for everything that happens to us and around us. Yoga, being a holistic practice, supports me in those transitional, and sometimes, difficult times. Whether it's grief, loss, or depression, I find those times on the yoga mat very comforting. Even if I'm in resistance, I start doing some sun salutations and I'm immersed in the experience. It's a time when I can really be with thoughts and emotions--anger, sadness, frustration--and allow them to move through and out my body. It brings my attention to my breath, which supports the movement of energy. It's when we hold our breath a lot, or take quick, short breaths, that's how the tension continues to build up, so we are unable to move on.

I do yoga to relieve that tension. I'm sure most people do without realizing it. But in this last decade of practicing and teaching yoga, I really had to remind myself why I do this. There was a time when I loathed it, and it was a time when I wasn't present and in complete resistance. There was a lot of unacknowledged grief and self-doubt, which was so frightening to face. It was just easier to shut down. With a supportive community and with time, shutting down wasn't a way of being anymore. I was more open to being with the uncomfortable feelings more because I realized they would pass quicker if I just sat with them. I look forward to practicing yoga, and teaching! So how did this happen?

Compassion, love, understanding, and acceptance (to name a few). Yoga teaches us this. It brings us into our body, allows us to look at the mind, and connect with our soul. But we need to go through the dark periods, in order to get to the light. There's no joy, without sorrow. There's no happiness without sadness/anger. There's no yin without yang. It's all about balance, and this is what yoga offers us.

So, if you're a yoga practitioner or other practitioner of whatever passion/hobby/practice you do, why do you do it? What keeps bringing you back? Does it ignite your creative fire, and how do you contain it and then move it? How do you cultivate it in your daily life?

I invite you to take 5-15 minutes a day to answer these questions one at time. Don't feel you have to answer all of them at once. Or see what questions arise within yourself, but without judgment. A little self-reflection and inquiry can go a LONG way.

Namaste ~

Mindful Choices

The Ooops!

Over the weekend, I made some "food" choices that didn't agree with me. I have a slight sensitivity to gluten, so when I overdue it with those types of food I know what to do. But I didn't think sugar would set me up for a full blown allergic reaction!

Friday night was my friend's 30th birthday. I was VERY good about spacing my drinks out and drank water; however, I made the mistake of drinking sugary, mixed drinks. Don't get me wrong they were very delicious! Fresh blueberry mojitos, mmmmmmm! I had 2 of those; an hour before those I had a mandarin vodka and sprite (that was mmmmm too). So I had a total of 3 drinks all evening, and I was the slowest drinker out of the 5 people I was with.

It was the next morning where it hit me hard, with the pulsing headache, low energy, and feeling like a bag o' bricks. I also felt dehydrated, which puzzled me for a moment because I thought I drank lots of water all evening and even more when I got home. But, of course, those drinks trick your body! By mid-late afternoon, I became super sluggish, so I rested, continued to hydrate, and ate fresh foods as meals. Although, I didn't have much of an appetite, so fluids it was.

I felt better Sunday morning and into the afternoon, but it was in the late afternoon where I made another mistake. After cat sitting in Berkeley, I headed back into the city to meet up with a friend. On the bridge, stuck in bumper to bumper traffic, I realized I was SUPER, FREAKIN' HUNGRY! When I got to the cafe where I was meeting my friend, I ordered a sandwich, which came with chips, and it was gone pretty quickly (The Oops!). An hour later, I still felt fine, and my friend and I went to visit another friend of ours. Later on, dinnertime came and where do we go? A burrito place. Of course, I'm looking at the corn taco (gluten-free), but then our friends start raving about the veggie burrito's amazing yummy-ness, so I gave in.

Bad idea!

I ate the whole thing :( Then about a 45 minutes later when I got home, I had a sneezing fit like no other. My nose clogged up, but there was nothing to blow out with a tissue. I sat on the couch, miserable, started to scold myself for eating what I ate. Lots of judgment there, but I said to myself, "hey, ya made a mistake eating that burrito. Oh well. Let's be extra mindful with our eating this week."

I realized the sugary drinks from Friday set me up for this reaction, as well as staying up late, hence, the lack of sleep. It lowered my immunity big time, and now I need to detox and cleanse.

The solution? Gluten-free diet this week! Also, no alcohol and no processed sugar. I'm eating fresh foods, Amazing Grass Green Superfood, nothing processed, for the rest of week. It doesn't help that I'm going to a wedding this weekend, but at least I know I can do something about it now and be more mindful about what I drink and what I eat.

The Insight
We all fall back on our vices and bad habits. It's okay, as long as we're aware of it. If we know something isn't good for us, we can really start to inquire within and begin to make more mindful choices around the behavior we want to change.

So when you encounter whatever vice/habit it is that may create discomfort or imbalance in your body (caffeine, sugary foods, nicotine, drama, etc) take a moment to pause;

-Take a deep breath;

-Notice how your body feels at the moment;

-Track all sensations in the body

Once you've taken that moment (and believe me it only takes a moment!), then make your choice, BUT without judgment. If you start to judge yourself, be with it. What are the emotions around the judgment? It can be uncomfortable, but if you want to make a change in your lifestyle, it's about confronting and acknowledging what comes up. Ask for support from a friend or health practitioner. You don't have to do it alone. There are others who feel the same way, and struggle with their own bad habits. Be the change you want to be.

Neal's Yard Remedies All Summer Sale! Everything 20% off!

30th ANNIVERSARY SUMMER SALE
ALL BATH & BODY
BABY CARE
HAIR CARE
MEN'S

CLICK HERE TO SEE ALL THE PRODUCTS ON SALE! BEST OFFER EVER!

TO ORDER, CLICK HERE.

Be Kind to Yourself: Taking time for self-care

In the past, I used to be sooooo hard on myself, especially the times when I said I was going to do something, and then forgot about it or just didn't do it. At the time, I didn't know why. But in the past 2 years learning about the Power of Intention and being more authentic and true to myself, I realized that if you want something to happen and it feels good in your body and whole being, it will happen or you will do it. It may not happen right away, and it depends on what it is. I would put such high expectations on myself, or tell myself things that really weren't true. For instance, if I didn't practice yoga an hour a day I wasn't good enough to be a yoga teacher. When I read that statement now, I say, "Come on!" Now, I look at the big picture. I look through a set of eyes with a wider vision. Also, we all forget to do things, even if we had the best intentions. It's okay! If someone gets upset with you about it, it's not you. It's their own frustrations and stories coming out. Be kind to yourself! Take a step back, ground your feet into the earth and breathe. Is the world really going to fall apart if you forgot/didn't do this or that?

No, really. I want you to ask that question to yourself when you find yourself getting reactive. I do ALL THE TIME.

A great way to not overwhelm yourself and your day is that when you make that "to-do list", after you have read it through, ask yourself, "is this do-able?" You may need to edit the list down a little, or just do the most important task that needs to be done, such as pay rent, bills, etc. On my daily lists, I always put down something for self-care. Something that will nurture my whole being: mind, body and spirit, so I feel grounded and energized to do the next thing or the things I love to do. This could be: take 5 minutes sitting quietly and breathe; write four things you're grateful for right now in your life; listen to or read something inspirational; do 5-10 minutes of stretches/yoga; listen to some music; or go for a walk. It can be anything. If you work 9-5, set aside certain times of the day, where you leave your desk and go to a quiet, private spot, even if it's your car! I always recommend this to my students and clients, especially those who have jammed, packed days or who tend to forget about their own needs throughout their day. The more we ignore what our bodies tell us, the more dis-ease can manifest.

As one of my yoga teachers, Joe Naudzunas said, "if you can find the time to brush your teeth, you can find the time to do some yoga poses." It sounds so simple. But you'll find that the more you take care of yourself, the more ease and flow will be your day, everyday.

Namaste.

Listening to Our Body...Again

I reread this post I wrote back in February. Boy, was there some "stuff" going on! I'm re-realizing that the body never lies. We need to listen to it and be with it, which is what yoga and massage has taught me. I recently had an Aura Balancing session (energy/chakra balancing) from a good friend of mine, who is an energyworker, clairvoyant and life coach. I went to her because I felt very blocked in areas of my body, especially my throat and chest area. For the past few weeks, I've been grieving loss. Loss of people, and parts of me that I have needed to let go of. As my yoga practice has involved Yin and restorative postures these days, being still and quiet has allowed this grief to surface and be free of my body. I've learned new ways to ground myself and protect myself. In the past, I always took on other people's "stuff", and what I mean by stuff is their moods, emotions, experiences, presence, etc. Let's just say "vibes". Have you ever walked into a room, or encountered a person, and felt something off or shift? It's like the air stretches or changes volume around them, depending on what's going with them. Sometimes those people or places have a positive vibe, and sometimes they don't. For a long time, I was a sponge and would absorb all the negative vibes from people and places. Instead of letting it go, I took it on for some reason.

When I was younger, it was a way to relate to people or to feel that I belonged. Over the years, my body's energy became drained, and now, it's done with that. There are other ways-healthy ways-to relate with people. There are healthy ways to be with people, who aren't exactly in a well-balanced state, but that doesn't mean you have to go there too! We can meet them where their at with distance and still be in close proximity. I want to share a great grounding-meditation exercise to help protect yourself from any negative vibes you may encounter throughout your day. It's also just a great way to unwind. As a yoga teacher, massage therapist and coach, if you're constantly around different people throughout your day, and can leave you energized or drained. Something to think about and be aware of, especially around the holidays.

Take 5 or 10 minutes to do this exercise:

First, find a quiet place and sit either in a chair or on the floor. You want your feet on the ground. Close your eyes and take a few deep, belly breaths. Extend both arms straight up toward the sky with palms up, and then bring them down slowly to the sides like your drawing a circle around you. Imagine a sphere of space (this is your aura) five feet in front, above, below and the sides of you. Then place all your energy and the energy you may have picked up from others or places and send it above your head down through your crown, third eye, throat, chest/heart, abdomen, pelvis, until you get to the tip of tailbone. Place all that energy in a ball with any color that comes to you (something soothing). Imagine a cord of that color from the ball, and send the energy down into the ground so deep it gets to the earth's core and say to yourself or out loud, "I release this energy to the earth." Then imagine a crystal, white ball of clean, bright light and send that back up the cord letting it cover your feet, legs, pelvis, trunk, neck and head, then allow it to burst over your head, covering your aura. Feel this new, earth energy soothe your whole body, mind and spirit. Then find your feet and take a few long, deep belly breaths.

Try this at the end of the day before you go to bed and then again in the morning. I find sometimes I do it in the middle of the day, depending on what kind of day I'm having. If I'm inspired by affirmations or yogic chant phrases at the end such as, "so hum", which means, "I am that". I say it over and over again to myself or out loud and just sit with it, allowing my mind to quieten. The more you do this exercise, the easier and quicker you feel grounded and clear. If you have any essential oils from trees such as cypress or frankincense, rub some into your palms and wrists before you do the exercise, breathing in the aroma from the oils. It's a nice treat to add to the whole experience.

I know I just ranted about other people's energy, but it really can effect us if we are not aware. Overtime, our energy can become stagnant for a variety of reasons--age, illness, injuries, etc. But can you remember when that part of your body began feeling that way? What was happening in your life at the time? Who was there? Some interesting queries to consider.

Namaste

Resistance leads to persistance

I get daily insight emailed to me from Yoga Journal everyday, and this one came yesterday. Couldn't have been at a better time! As I've been allowing myself more free time, it's been clear to me that I really need more of it. For years, my strategies for coping with stress and anxiety is to do, Do, DO! Instead of feeling my emotions, I would resist them by overloading my schedule so much, it would leave me depleted and tired. When I would have an opening, I would diligently search for something else to fill it with. One of my teachers in my coaching program always says, "If you resist, it will persist." In other words, it won't go away if you ignore it. It will always come back and bite you in the ass before you least expect it.

I want to share the articles below that inspired me to share and write about this because I've been doing a lot of healing from grief and loss this past week. Once I allowed myself a break, all the sadness surfaced and was freed from my body. I know I was holding onto some people I've lost in my life, and could very well still be. But what's important is that it was acknowledged.

Yin yoga is the practice that's been supporting me. Yin yoga is a style of yoga, where you hold poses (usually floor poses) for 3-5 minutes. The holding is what allows the connective tissues around the muscles and joints to open and stretch releasing any blockages or stuck energy and/or emotions. It's like giving yourself an acupuncture/acupressure session because the poses are also stimulating the meridians, or flow of energy/chi which correspond to organs and systems of the body. I love this style because it really allows (and makes) me be in my body. I'm so happy to have reconnected with this practice and style because it's reminded me to, not only be in my body, but to love my body wherever it's at, physically and emotionally.

I hope you enjoy the articles!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From Yoga Journal Daily Insights

Resistance becomes a problem when the psychological immune system doesn't know when or how to let down its boundaries. Then resistance stops being a useful filtering device and becomes a wall, a kind of armor. Sometimes the habit of resisting is so deeply ingrained that you can't tell whether your inner "no" is a legitimate warning or just obstructive. You can live for years with a tendency to resistance that reveals itself in insidious ways: as an inclination to slide away from intimacy; a habit of avoiding difficult emotions by sleeping or watching TV; or simply the onset of restlessness, anxiety, or boredom that keeps you from resting in the present moment. Then, when you truly want to make a change, the wall of resistance can seem impenetrable.

Developing an awareness of your resistance style is the first step in working with it. Yoga and meditation often help develop and break through these styles of resistance. Try to respect your feelings of resistance as well as let the feelings that seem less beneficial to your life dissolve. Part of this is pure conditioning from those deep-seated beliefs that success, love, meaningful work, social justice, and whatever else you value come from outer-directed effort and that inwardness is somehow a waste of time. More often, however, the resistance stems from fear—fear of your emotions, fear of the unknown, and, finally, fear of your own essence, your own grandeur. To move past resistance in your practice is to free yourself in ways you have never anticipated.

Read more:

http://www.yogajournal.com/wisdom/2516

http://www.yogajournal.com/practice/2580

Insight from yoga injury: Why yoga shouldn't hurt

 I found this article rich with information on how to protect yourself against injury in yoga class and in your own practice.  The author speaks from her own experience, and offers many other insights from very experienced yoga teachers and health professionals.

I have had a project going on in my left, inner knee for quite sometime, and it restricts me from doing certain poses such as lotus, and poses that require lots of flexion of the knee.  I feel this happened during a class in my teacher training, or in an intermediate yoga class, where I just pushed my body too hard, so I could stay up to speed with everyone else.  I remember going to the doctor for help, and then finally went to acupuncture, which did help a lot.  But I had to modify poses in order to protect my knee. This was really hard at first because, at the time, I was in teacher training and I didn't want anything holding me back.  Then I began to realize it's okay! You can still be a yoga teacher if you can't do a certain pose to its fullest.  Every body is different at every minute of the day,  and that should be honored in any form of exercise.  I'm not saying you shouldn't challenge yourself, but if you're doing something unconsciously just to get through it, that's where injury will happen.  I know one day my body is open to all poses in my practice or in a class.  Other days, it may need something different.

So I invite you to read this article, especially if you're new to yoga, but also a seasoned student or teacher.  There's lots of good advice and information.  It's nothing that will scare you off from doing yoga because there's so much to learn, experience, and yoga should be for everyone. 


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
From Yoga Journal


Yoga Shouldn't Hurt
Buyer beware: An "all levels" vinyasa class might include umpteen Chaturangas, long holds of deep backbends, or pretzel-like poses that can strain your joints—and your ego—if you're not fully ready. As yoga grows in popularity, it becomes more and more important that you explore your own limitations and feel empowered to take care of yourself on the yoga mat, despite what others around you are doing. This week, we offer stories to help you arm yourself against injury.

• Insight from Injury

Body Themes

We all have something going on with our bodies one way or another.  Whether it's a new or old injury, or it's something that just cracks, creaks or pops, it happens to all of us. 

After I taught my Lunchtime Yoga class today, one my students (also a friend and colleague) mentioned how she was challenged in one of the poses we did, which is called Parivrtta Janu Sirsasana (revolved head-of-knee pose. pictured).

As you can see, the hip of the bend knee is getting a nice opening and that side of the trunk is getting a nice opening and length.  She continued to talk about how her left hip has been having "stuff" going on there for a bit, both physically and emotionally. In fact, she has had some emotional release from bodywork in that area.  Our bodies have an amazing way of telling us things, and they can be mysterious, frustrating, and down right, painful.  I'm calling it Body Themes because, to me, it's a way we describe something about our bodies.  So what's the theme?  Is my friend's hip trying to tell her something?  Has she buried some old stuff there that's not serving her anymore? When did it start?

I can totally relate to this because I've done some healing around body themes as well.  For example, over the past year, I had been working on some digestive projects (sounds better than problems) and I came to realize that I hold a lot of my emotions down in my belly.  My symptoms would be bloating, constipation, cramping, etc. The belly/abdomen is our power center, or the solar plexus.  It's where are power, creativity and assertiveness comes from. In the past, making decisions or having a voice wasn't always a strong point in my life, so whatever emotions (fear, anger, sadness) I was feeling I would bury in my belly.  When I started acknowledging this area of my body, the healing began.  I was receiving bodywork/energy work and a lot of anger came up around this area of my body (and it wasn't the first time this came up in a bodywork session).  I began screaming and crying, allowing myself to feel that anger, wherever, whenever and whatever it was from.  Then I started breathing into it, instead of constricting around it.  Afterward, I felt so much softness and space in my belly.  In addition to that, my digestion improved! My constipation went away, my belly went down and no more cramping.

So I knew I had let go of some "stuff" that wasn't serving me anymore. My body was done holding onto that. I know this theme, the belly/abdomen can come up.  But I know now that when I start to experience those symptoms, I can bring attention and awareness there and ask myself, "what's coming up for me right now?"  "Was it something I ate?" "Was it something that person said?" "Does it feel like old stuff?"

It's important and healthy for us to feel what we feel.  To breathe with and into it, instead of resisting or constricting around it.  What is your body theme? Remember, to be gentle with yourself.  Sometimes we are not ready to go there yet.  Be patient, compassionate and loving.

Creation is fun!

Wow! I'm getting so inspired and I'm on medical leave! I sure have been using my time wisely.  I've gone on some good walks and started a gentle yoga practice this morning.  I feel my body wanting to heal and recover.  But it's nice to take it slow and be with the sensations and feelings moment to moment, even if it's pain.

Today was my first day off any pain medication.  Woo Hoo! Last night I could feel my stomach getting irritated which told me, maybe it's time for a break? Sure! I did very well considering there was some discomfort, but thank goodness for essential oils and heating pads.

Lately, I have been thinking about teaching. Not yoga, but movement.  I recently have been feeling a different energy with performance lately and began thinking about how nice it would be to teach movement as a healing modality.  Most performers are, in a sense, healing some part of themselves when they do their work, whether they're conscious of it or not.  I know in the past year with all the solo work I've done, a lot of inner healing was taking place. It was hard and fun.  I've been playing with workshop names: Body Sense; Conscious Movement.....I feel if I stick with a theme I can really do it.  I got a tarot reading almost a month ago and my tarot reader told me that she saw me in a career of the arts.  This rang so clear for me.  This month I've been creating a business on integrating yoga, massage, life coaching and movement and I think this will be my first dive into it.  I already have a space in mind and have contacted them. It's out there! Go creation! Go manifestation! GO FOR IT! And above all, HAVE FUN!

Listening to our Body: Integrating body, mind and spirit

It's like the yin and yang; love and hate; knowing and not knowing; wanting and not wanting; forward and backwards. We are either in one or the other, or somewhere in between. For the past year, I have been working towards the positive, joyful side of things, even when they are not so good. Through this inner work, I have learned to not be so hard on myself when things happen. I have also realized that there are no accidents. Things happen for a reason. They happen in order to wake us up, to see an aspect of ourselves right in front of us. There may be certain people that show up in our lives that bring us joy or drive us crazy! It is when we ask the question, "Why?" in these situations. Why did this happen to me? Why can't this person just go away? Why did this person go away? There's nothing wrong asking why, but sometimes we get stuck there, we blame ourselves and others, put ourselves down, believe we don't deserve anything better or never will. We all have these thoughts, but do we really check into our bodies and feel? Do these thoughts really feel good? Are they serving you in order to move forward in life? Do you want to move forward? I could go on and on with this inquiry, but I am choosing not to because we all know what we want. Once we listen to our bodies and minds, it's when our spirit, our true selves begin to shine through.

Being in the thick of it
It was this past weekend when I had an awakening. An Ah-Ha moment. A realization. Whatever you want to call it. For the past few months, my menstrual periods were very heavy and lasted longer than 10, sometimes, up to 14 days. I decided to do something about it, so I went to see my doctor. I got blood work done and she decided to schedule me for an ultrasound to do an overall check up. My blood work showed that I was anemic and then the ultrasound showed a thickening in the lining of my uterus which part of it turned out to be a polyp, along with that, a cyst on my right ovary. So my doctor told me I needed a D & C (click here for more info), removal of the cyst and an IUD to keep the lining of my uterus thin. This was a mouth full. This was a lot! When I left the office, I cried. I felt like I did something wrong. The next day it was "I did this to myself". "I am unhealthy". "Why did this happen to me?!"

Then it was in my therapy session that I began to feel what my body was feeling. Having a therapist trained in somatic and other mind/body studies was very beneficial for me at that moment. She asked me to check in with that area (2nd chakra), where our reproductive organs live. A surge of resistance came over me. It was as if my consciousness wanted to completely cut itself off from that area. In the past, I had some trauma around this area and a lot of it is still stored there. Even though, I have done a lot of healing around it, it still can surface. The body memory will always be there. As I resisted, it persisted. I began to allow some of it out and my body began saying, "ugly, gross, and unhealthy". Of course, in my mind, I knew this wasn't true. For years, I was always up in my head about things that happened to me and here was my body telling me things! I was grateful to acknowledge this because it was obviously a part of me that was getting triggered, but a part of me that I had chose to bury away.

Awakening
When the weekend came, I was feeling great because I had the Yoga Journal Conference to look forward to. My intention for the weekend was to be inspired and find connection in myself and others. The three workshops I attended were so interrelated; I didn't even realize it until after I took them. The first was about tuning into your energy centers (chakras) with asana (poses) and mantras. As I made the sounds for each one in the corresponding asana, I began to feel shifts and energy move. It was a very healing sequence of asana because the teacher had us focus on something that related to ourselves and that chakra, whether it was a person or a life experience. Then we would make the sound, breath and let whatever or whoever it was go. Then the second workshop was Yin Yoga, a style of yoga where you hold a pose (all floor poses) for 3-5 minutes, in order stretch the connective tissues, stimulate meridians and have a more quiet, inward practice. We did a lot of hip openers, allowing me to surrender and let go into the pose. When savasana came, the teacher had another teacher sing a beautiful Tibetan chant. The emotions that began to surface felt like a wave inside my abdomen, and then I was crying. I felt safe knowing that this was the healing process, plus I was in a room full of yogis on their own path. After a two hour break, I went to my third and final workshop, which was called "Body Prayer: Entering the Temple". The title says it all. Throughout the yoga practice, the teacher spoke about how we are all one, mind-body-spirit. That there is no separation. We are all similar beings striving for love, connection and community; that we need to let go of our judgments on others and ourselves in order to live our lives. I got choked up during the short lecture, and then while in pigeon pose, I began to ride that wave from the previous workshop. Another juicy hip opener, but then again, the whole practice was hip openers. This area that I disconnected myself from began to shine and speak to me. I suddenly felt whole. I felt light. I felt like I could do anything. Say anything. Love myself. Love this area that I ignored for so long.

Moving forward
I want to clarify that this process can take time. I have been learning to listen to my body for years. Yoga is what really began this journey. My dance and movement training became the catalyst, the self-expression of all the inner conflicts and emotions. My holistic health training provided many tools on feeling my emotions, listening to my needs, the body's sensations and the mind. Then, finally massage training, being a total body experience, also supports the integration of the mind, body and spirit. As I move forward, I realize by going through my various trainings, it was about connecting with me as a whole person. Learning to see the beauty and the positive in others and day-to-day experiences, whether you're at work, school, walking down the street. When I started my holistic health program back in March 2008, we had to create our life's purpose. My life purpose was, "I am love and acceptance". This still rings true for me because through this whole experience, I have begun to see that loving what is moves us through the dark and the fear a little more easily. Acceptance goes along with love. We love our family, friends and partners no matter what choices they made in their life. But remember that, it is all a process and it may take our whole lives to get there. I know I have a long way to go. But if we begin to, at least exercise our consciousness by playing with these concepts, little by little we begin to make baby steps towards what we want and let our spirits shine.

Body tells mind, mind tells body

It's like the yin and yang, back and forth, infinity. In regards to my previous post, a lot came up for me around my 2nd chakra. It's where the reproductive organs are, sexual energy live and breathe. It's an area that I've had trauma and for a long period of time never felt good about. I know in the past, I stored ex-boyfriends there, which resulted in a lot of negative energy and self-hatred in this area. While sitting in my therapy session last week, my therapist had me check in with myself around this area. My therapist does a lot of somatic work which has been so beneficial for me in my journey. When she asked me to do this, it was like my mind said no and my body said yes. I began to speak and feel more from my body then with my head. I realized how much I wanted to completely shut myself off from my 2nd chakra, my hips, my womb, my feminine. All my body could feel was ugly, gross, dirty, unhealthy. However, I knew in my mind that this wasn't true, but my body felt it. I, then realized, this was my body talking. Talking of old feelings and beliefs that I once told myself and this area. My higher conscious wanted to disconnect, but there was a struggle to hold on. To wait. To want. To love.

Being able to love this area is very difficult for me and for a lot of people. Do we really take the time to acknowledge ourselves and say I love you? For me, there hasn't been much love in this area. In the past year, it's certainly grown more, but since the a new project has occurred in this area, these past beliefs have been triggered. They still live in there, even though I firmly believe they're not true. It's interesting what can come up and out.

Over the weekend, I had some emotional release from this area. During the Yoga Journal conference, I cried in all 3 sessions I took. One of the workshop sessions was about chakra purification (how appropriate!), the second was integrating yin yoga and the third was about prayer and empowerment. All the yoga we did was hip openers. It was as if the universe guided me to register for these workshops. And/or my body guided me toward these themes because it's what it needed. It sure did. I've begun to realize there's no such thing as accidents. Things happen for a reason whether we like it or not. People come into our lives for a reason whether we love them or not. What's the universe trying to tell us when these things happen? What innate force is pulling us towards them or them towards us? We are beings of creation and we strive for love in everything and everyone. It's time to wake up. I believe it's a year of awakening.

Changing your relationship with food

Food became this puzzle to me a few years ago. I began to notice sensitivities to certain foods I was eating such as wheat and gluten. I was amazed how it's in everything! I grew up eating it through my childhood, teenage and young adult years. Never noticed any patterns when I got sinus infections, problems and then allergies. However, I feel I have a hold on it and know if I choose to eat something (that may or may not agree with me), at least I know why I feel the way I do. I've also thought about vegetarianism and did it for about 6 months, but I honestly don't feel my body responded to it very well. I felt lethargic a lot at one point and decided to eat a little bit of chicken. POOF! my energy was back. Of course, I choose to eat the free-range, organic, grass-fed chicken as much as I can. In other words, the happy chicken! It's hard, especially if you really feel strongly about animal rights and the treatment towards animals in factory farms. But what do you do when certain diets aren't working for YOU? I love how using the principles of yoga can support this journey if that's the path you're on. For me, it's an ongoing thing. A path that I tend to step into at certain points in my life. When I step on the mat I always ask, "how do I feel right now?", "What does my body need?". What do you ask your body?


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(From Yoga Journal Daily Insight)

As the food industry relentlessly markets every fad diet and product, Americans are forgetting how to eat healthily and happily. Yoga can help you make better choices about what you eat—and skip the guilt.

Yoga's philosophy teaches us to make meals from plant-based foods that form the foundation of the food pyramid. The physical asana practice deepens your awareness of your body, so you become more conscious of foods that bring a consistent sense of well-being—and those that make you feel bad after you eat them. Over time, practitioners often find themselves in a more comfortable and relaxed relationship with food.

While yoga and meditation can help you navigate the choppy waters of the American food industry, success won't happen overnight. But as you practice, you can build the discipline, patience, and compassion to overcome the many forces arrayed against you—no matter how formidable they seem.

IN THIS ISSUE
If I Do Yoga, Am I Vegetarian?

http://www.yogajournal.com/lifestyle/280
Fear Factor

http://www.yogajournal.com/lifestyle/2020

All You Need is Yoga

For me, not necessarily. I know for myself I love a dance class or combo aerobic/dance class to get the blood and oxygen flowing. I guess the "yang" side (active side) of me needs it. Also, to each his own. I feel everyone needs something different but including yoga in your routine is a wonderful thing. What I love about it is you can attend to your own body's needs. For instance, if you're feeling fatigued or run-down, do some restorative, relaxation yoga. If you have a lot of energy or stress, do a few rounds of sun salutations and/or standing poses to ground and center yourself. There is also meditation. Being able to sit with yourself for a few minutes or longer helps slow down the breath, blood pressure and nervous system. There's opportunity to tune into your emotions as well. The benefits of yoga are immense!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(From yogajournal.com daily insight)


Yoga might be good for flexibility or relaxation, but to be truly fit, do you have to combine it with an activity like running or weight lifting?

Yoga may improve strength, aerobic capacity, and lung function. If you practice yoga, you already knew that. But if you've been told by friends, family, doctors, or even other yoga students that you need to add some power walking for your heart or strength training for your muscles, there's growing evidence that yoga is all you need for a fit mind and body.

Yoga tunes you into your body and helps you to better coordinate your actions. When you bring your breath, your awareness, and your physical body into harmony, you allow your body to work at its maximum fitness capacity. Yoga class is merely a laboratory for how to be in harmony with the body in every activity outside of yoga. The improved physical wellness and fluidity that yoga brings can enhance more than just our physical well-being, as it permeates all levels of our being.

IN THIS ISSUE
Is Yoga Enough to Keep You Fit?

http://www.yogajournal.com/practice/739
Yoga for Runners

http://www.yogajournal.com/lifestyle/192

My schedule speaks to me

In recent times, I've always jammed my schedule with as much as possible. Why? For many reasons, for which I don't want to go into and have mentioned in other blog entries. Well now it's like my body and mind are speaking to me every time I considering adding this or that, and they say, "Liz, what are you doing? You have massage school and it's a lot of time and commitment. What is your commitment?". These are the questions that came to me as I drove home last night from my yoga client's house after a session. It dawned on me that after giving up my Monday nite yoga class for more "time" in my life, I had to move my private yoga sessions to Monday because massage classes were starting on Tuesdays again! Aaaaahhhh!

So instead of the usual pondering I did in the past, "Oh but I feel bad if I quit", "I'm letting myself and others down". Blah, blah, BLAH! I automatically made the decision that I'm dropping my other group yoga class on Wednesdays (which in ways I don't know why I picked up, but do know at the same time). I feel I'm in this really Zen place these days. Very present and clear about what I want. Before I know it, it comes to me! I don't judge myself or beat myself up about it. That's the way it is and that's cool! I already took the class out of my calendar and I haven't even told them yet, which says a lot about letting go (that's HUGE for me). So I want to acknowledge myself for taking control of my life and choices to better serve my health and well-being. It's so vital to me at this point in my life as I enter my thirties. I want my thirties to be vibrant, shiny, energized and full of joy and community. It feels great and I'm going with that.

Anywhere

When I get the chance, I will share a video of the work I'm writing about in this blog entry. This past weekend I performed in the Bare Bones Butoh Presents performance series curated by Bob Webb in San Francisco. Since 2005, I've been participating in this series which gives butoh/performance artists a chance to try stuff out, present works in progress or parts of a bigger piece.

This time I was feeling very adventurous and decided to improv some work. I invited my friend, Deborah of KitsuneButoh to play, as I did with her in her piece. Since my piece was entitled, "Anywhere", I began my dance in the hallway of the building. My intention for the improv was to investigate what happens when another butoh body enters the space/environment as the dance occurs.In a past blog, I shared about dancing in other environments, mostly in the outdoors. But this time was super fun because it's a live-work space so there were people/tenants coming in and out as I moved down the hallways towards the performance space. The only sound I had in the hallway was me, the various generators in the building and the sounds of tenants coming in and out of their space. Of course the audience was there as well. Deborah followed me as a shadow does in different lighting, but with some distance between us. No real contact, but more energetically. It was amazing how I sensed another body's presence even though I couldn't see it. As I viewed the footage, my reactions of this body was interesting because it looked at times as if it was choreographed that way. Since I invited her beforehand, there was no way of knowing when it was going to happen. I experienced this when dancing outdoors in a public space where people got close to me and I felt vulnerable and unsure, but of course, continued with that feeling and the movement to see the manifestation.

As I danced through the audience, I could feel all eyes and energy on me. Then something unexpected occurred at such the right moment. A tenant came out of his apt as I paused in front of it. He froze as I did and as Deborah did too. The reaction was perfect. He continued to lock up and walk down the hallway to leave the building. I don't know what happened. A nonverbal acknowledgment? We continued in the hallway and I went on into the performance stage area to continue.

I'll post the video soon. It was lots of fun!

Stomach 36

From what I learned in my Zen Shiatsu classes, just rub this point and it will stimulate your whole immune system in your body and help with overall wellness. I give this a point a nice massage for up to 2 min to replenish my immune system every day. Chinese medicine is so amazing!

Emotions in Motion

I loved this article because it hits home for me in so many ways. I have been going through my own healing process and I know yoga has helped me breakthrough a lot of barriers of resistance. Yes, it's scary when you face your inner demons, but the relief and space you feel afterward is so beautiful and profound.
I want to share this article because just in this first paragraph below, this has happened to me and I've seen it happen to others. It's amazing what our bodies do. We can get to know them more through yoga.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(From yogajournal.com daily insights)
You reach up and back, your chest opening into a supported backbend. Then, suddenly, you're in tears. How did you move from serenity to intensity in just one moment?

"The holistic system of yoga was designed so that these emotional breakthroughs can occur safely," says Joan Shivarpita Harrigan, Ph.D., a psychologist and the director Knoxville, Tennessee's Patanjali Kundalini Yoga Care, Tennessee, which provides guidance to spiritual seekers. "Yoga is not merely an athletic system; it is a spiritual system. The asanas are designed to affect the subtle body for the purpose of spiritual transformation. People enter into the practice of yoga asana for physical fitness or physical health, or even because they've heard it's good for relaxation, but ultimately the purpose of yoga practice is spiritual development."

This development depends on breaking through places in the subtle body that are blocked with unresolved issues and energy. "Anytime you work with the body, you are also working with the mind and the energy system—which is the bridge between body and mind," Harrigan explains. And since that means working with emotions, emotional breakthroughs can be seen as markers of progress on the road to personal and spiritual growth.



IN THIS ISSUE
Emotions in Motion
http://www.yogajournal.com/practice/1215


Change is In the Air
http://www.yogajournal.com/wisdom/1769

Out of my body, in my head

I find it so interesting how the mind works. What really fascinates me is how it can take over EVERYTHING!

I went to the gym bright and early this a.m. and as I was heading home, all I could think about was making some yummy, protein-packed scrambled eggs. Mmmmmmm! I went into the kitchen and saw a sink full of dishes with the pan I needed (gross!). Then my mind began to chatter, "Why can't he wash the dishes he uses?". After washing the pan, I open the fridge to get my precious eggs out and low and behold, there aren't any! I literally spat out, "My eggs! where are my eggs!", "I can't believe he ate my eggs!". The "he" is my husband and notice how I'm using "my". Like we don't share food, right? Then I felt myself going into a tizzy and I got angry. Then sad.

I stopped, closed my eyes and took 3 long, gentle breaths into my belly. The anger was still there. So I sat down and took some breaths. A little better. The more I got into my body and noticed sensations, there was more ease. But why did I feel like crying?

I began to acknowledge my feelings and needs, as I learned from the Non-violent communication training I had received almost a year ago. So I said out loud, "I'm feeling angry and sad because I have a need for respect, consideration, nutrition and food". I said this 3 times and after the 3rd time I began to laugh and giggle. It was as if something released in me that I was holding onto. Something that just didn't serve me.

As I went on with my usual morning routine, emotions of happiness and sadness came and went. I didn't judge them. I just felt them. I allowed them to come in, like when a friend or neighbor comes over. For years, resistance was what kept me from expressing and acknowledging my feelings. I used to make judgments onto myself such as, "your bad a person if you show your anger" or "your weak if you show that you're crying". In other words, I'm a bad person if I show my feelings. what a catholic way of living!

Writing this out has created more ease in my body right now! I feel more present so I can enjoy my day no matter what. It's amazing how we can get so caught up in our heads, thoughts, evaluations and interpretations of what is happening. But what really is happening? In my situation, I got triggered and I felt angry and sad. Cool! So be it! Let it out!

I also realized how much compassion I had for my husband who was sleeping during all of this. He probably ate those eggs because he had a need for food and nutrition too. We bought those eggs together. They were his eggs as much as mine, but really they were just eggs.

If everyone on the planet practiced these tools of non-violent communication for themselves and with others, how much ease would people feel in their bodies? how many people would get along with their partners, family, friends, coworkers, bosses, enemies? Tons.