For years, it was really hard for me to trust myself and the decisions I made. I usually just went along with what everyone else did because it was just easier that way. No one would say anything or question me. Then I met my husband and it all changed. When we are talking about what we want to do for the evening or over the weekend or what to cook for dinner, if he decided something, I would just agree. He immediately would pick up on this and say, "Well, what do you want?" I would respond, "What you said. That sounds fine." Then he would said, "No, really. What would you like to do/eat?" This would start to send me into anxiety mode and I would start getting all flustered. And for what? This was the question on his face, and in later years, the question reflected right back to me.
Of course, over the past 4-5 years, I've learned to really check in with myself when questions or ideas are presented to me. I also have learned not to say, "yes" to everything because, in the past, that led to overbooking my time, leaving me with no time for what I wanted to do. Even if it was nothing! But allowing myself time and space to think and feel about choices is just one of things that yoga offers us. It's that quiet time that we give ourselves in meditation that allows us to connect with that deeper part of ourselves. It's the essence and the spirit/soul. It's trust and love.
I am ALLOWING myself to TRUST my intuition MORE around what I want to do along my path. Because it is MINE. Right?
It's not my mom's, my dad's, that ex-boyfriend's, the governments; it IS all mine. It's about what I want for myself in my relationships, health, career and business. Not what I should have, or HAVE to do.
For instance, I had an interview at a health club for a Massage Therapist position. This health club is very exclusive in the San Francisco Bay Area, and being located in the Financial District, it caters to the corporate community. I was early for my interview, and as I sat drinking my peppermint tea, I people-watched. "Wow" I said to myself. In the past, I would have said, "What am I doing here?!" with a lot of contempt. I also would have had the nervous flutters of butterflies in my stomach, but instead I was relaxed, comfortable, and going-with-the-flow. The chatter said, "Something must be wrong!" But in my heart, everything was perfect. The interview went so well, they asked me back for a practicum to demo my skills. I walked out of there feeling so confident and joyful! Then I recalled that email the day before from another business contacting me to come in for an interview and demo, and I my joy factor went from a 10 to a 100,000!
I'm realizing how manifestation and intention works, AND I'm receiving it! When an opportunity comes along, I'm open. I'm VERY aware when the chatter may chime in, but I know it's not true and it's not who I am or want. I'm trusting what comes and I'm not afraid of failure.
I welcome all opportunity and possibility. I listen to my intuition and heart because that's who I am.
I am not my thoughts. YOU are not your thoughts.
Trust in yourself and you will receive what you asked or prayed to the universe or higher being. You deserve it. So believe it!
Showing posts with label time. Show all posts
Showing posts with label time. Show all posts
Friday, June 24, 2011
Friday, June 3, 2011
Back from vacation
I love vacation! You feel so refreshed and rebooted when you come back. In fact, I realized most people don't take ENOUGH of them!
I went to three different locations: LA (UCLA Butoh Symposium); Newport Beach Coast, CA; and Las Vegas, NV. I probably would've preferred Vegas before Newport Beach, but you can only plan things so much.
The Butoh Symposium was such a haven of artists, history, discussion, and practitioners of this mysterious movement practice that I love and loathe. It actually made me question my relationship with Butoh more. What is it about this practice that keeps me coming back? (I'll write more about this on my other blog. )
Newport Beach Coast was the epitome of relaxation and fun. I stayed with my Dad at his timeshare, along with my stepmom and their two friends. It was all about R&R: sitting by the pool reading, swimming or soaking up the sun; walking along the beach or hiking along the coast; watching the different birds fly around outside on the patio while overlooking the pacific ocean; shopping; watching the Boston Bruins on satellite cable TV; and then just chatting with family and friends about whatever while sipping on a beer or glass of wine. It was wonderful and so needed!
Las Vegas was crazy. It was my second time and it felt the same exact way as the first. Overstimulation and lots of people! It's still fun because everyone around seems like they're having fun too (unless you gambled all your money away). Thank God we were there for the Punk Rock Bowling Festival. A great music festival with all sorts of punk genres--pop or hard. The majority of the shows were outdoors, but I'm glad the night I went it was a cooler, overcast day. The remainder of the time I was there, the temp was in the 90s and sunny! However, I could never live there. I realized my body doesn't do well in that climate. My skin is still trying to heal from the dryness from the air there.
Vacation is important. It's necessary for the mind, body and soul. We all need a break from work-life, whatever and however that may look. We deserve it and need it.
When was the last time you went on a vacation?
I went to three different locations: LA (UCLA Butoh Symposium); Newport Beach Coast, CA; and Las Vegas, NV. I probably would've preferred Vegas before Newport Beach, but you can only plan things so much.
The Butoh Symposium was such a haven of artists, history, discussion, and practitioners of this mysterious movement practice that I love and loathe. It actually made me question my relationship with Butoh more. What is it about this practice that keeps me coming back? (I'll write more about this on my other blog. )
Newport Beach Coast was the epitome of relaxation and fun. I stayed with my Dad at his timeshare, along with my stepmom and their two friends. It was all about R&R: sitting by the pool reading, swimming or soaking up the sun; walking along the beach or hiking along the coast; watching the different birds fly around outside on the patio while overlooking the pacific ocean; shopping; watching the Boston Bruins on satellite cable TV; and then just chatting with family and friends about whatever while sipping on a beer or glass of wine. It was wonderful and so needed!
Las Vegas was crazy. It was my second time and it felt the same exact way as the first. Overstimulation and lots of people! It's still fun because everyone around seems like they're having fun too (unless you gambled all your money away). Thank God we were there for the Punk Rock Bowling Festival. A great music festival with all sorts of punk genres--pop or hard. The majority of the shows were outdoors, but I'm glad the night I went it was a cooler, overcast day. The remainder of the time I was there, the temp was in the 90s and sunny! However, I could never live there. I realized my body doesn't do well in that climate. My skin is still trying to heal from the dryness from the air there.
Vacation is important. It's necessary for the mind, body and soul. We all need a break from work-life, whatever and however that may look. We deserve it and need it.
When was the last time you went on a vacation?
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Be Kind to Yourself: Taking time for self-care
In the past, I used to be sooooo hard on myself, especially the times when I said I was going to do something, and then forgot about it or just didn't do it. At the time, I didn't know why. But in the past 2 years learning about the Power of Intention and being more authentic and true to myself, I realized that if you want something to happen and it feels good in your body and whole being, it will happen or you will do it. It may not happen right away, and it depends on what it is. I would put such high expectations on myself, or tell myself things that really weren't true. For instance, if I didn't practice yoga an hour a day I wasn't good enough to be a yoga teacher. When I read that statement now, I say, "Come on!" Now, I look at the big picture. I look through a set of eyes with a wider vision. Also, we all forget to do things, even if we had the best intentions. It's okay! If someone gets upset with you about it, it's not you. It's their own frustrations and stories coming out. Be kind to yourself! Take a step back, ground your feet into the earth and breathe. Is the world really going to fall apart if you forgot/didn't do this or that?
No, really. I want you to ask that question to yourself when you find yourself getting reactive. I do ALL THE TIME.
A great way to not overwhelm yourself and your day is that when you make that "to-do list", after you have read it through, ask yourself, "is this do-able?" You may need to edit the list down a little, or just do the most important task that needs to be done, such as pay rent, bills, etc. On my daily lists, I always put down something for self-care. Something that will nurture my whole being: mind, body and spirit, so I feel grounded and energized to do the next thing or the things I love to do. This could be: take 5 minutes sitting quietly and breathe; write four things you're grateful for right now in your life; listen to or read something inspirational; do 5-10 minutes of stretches/yoga; listen to some music; or go for a walk. It can be anything. If you work 9-5, set aside certain times of the day, where you leave your desk and go to a quiet, private spot, even if it's your car! I always recommend this to my students and clients, especially those who have jammed, packed days or who tend to forget about their own needs throughout their day. The more we ignore what our bodies tell us, the more dis-ease can manifest.
As one of my yoga teachers, Joe Naudzunas said, "if you can find the time to brush your teeth, you can find the time to do some yoga poses." It sounds so simple. But you'll find that the more you take care of yourself, the more ease and flow will be your day, everyday.
Namaste.
No, really. I want you to ask that question to yourself when you find yourself getting reactive. I do ALL THE TIME.
A great way to not overwhelm yourself and your day is that when you make that "to-do list", after you have read it through, ask yourself, "is this do-able?" You may need to edit the list down a little, or just do the most important task that needs to be done, such as pay rent, bills, etc. On my daily lists, I always put down something for self-care. Something that will nurture my whole being: mind, body and spirit, so I feel grounded and energized to do the next thing or the things I love to do. This could be: take 5 minutes sitting quietly and breathe; write four things you're grateful for right now in your life; listen to or read something inspirational; do 5-10 minutes of stretches/yoga; listen to some music; or go for a walk. It can be anything. If you work 9-5, set aside certain times of the day, where you leave your desk and go to a quiet, private spot, even if it's your car! I always recommend this to my students and clients, especially those who have jammed, packed days or who tend to forget about their own needs throughout their day. The more we ignore what our bodies tell us, the more dis-ease can manifest.
As one of my yoga teachers, Joe Naudzunas said, "if you can find the time to brush your teeth, you can find the time to do some yoga poses." It sounds so simple. But you'll find that the more you take care of yourself, the more ease and flow will be your day, everyday.
Namaste.
Monday, May 17, 2010
One Moment in Time
I love what this article says about attachment. It's not just in yoga practice, but also in things that shows up in daily life. In regards to my yoga practice, I've been finding that there are certain poses that are difficult now. I get agitated over this, but I keep going. I acknowledge why I feel agitated and then it moves through me and I continue with the practice.
Since a big shift has happened in my life, I've been wanting to find more time for yoga practice and also "me practice." The "me practice" is not just yoga, but other mindfulness-based practices that I've picked up over the years in my various trainings. I want to embrace each moment when things come up for me, no matter how scary it may be. It's a way of being. It is what is.
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(From Yoga Journal Daily Insight)
As the Buddha said, impermanence is the nature of the human condition. This is a truth we know in our minds but tend to resist in our hearts. Change happens all around us, all the time, yet we long for the predictable, the consistent. We want the reassurance that comes from things remaining the same. Yoga philosophy offers an alternative to these tendencies. It is to embrace the powerful truth: the power of living in the unchanging, eternal present.
We can even look to our yoga mat to watch the attachment pattern play itself out. We often find ourselves attached to a never-ending process of "improvement" in our asanas. They do improve quickly at first—in the beginning, we are on a honeymoon of discovery; we grow by leaps and bounds in ability and understanding. After a couple of decades, however, our poses change much less. Oftentimes, we can no longer practice certain poses because of age or injury, yet we feel agitated because we assume that the poses of our youth should be the poses of our middle and old age.
What gives life its juice is the ability to mourn anything fully and simultaneously know it doesn't ultimately matter. In other words, we can live to the fullest when we recognize that our suffering is based not on the fact of impermanence but rather on our reaction to that impermanence.
After the Laundry, the Laundry |
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Polishing the Mirror |
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Time to practice
I have added another declaration to my list:
I will practice yoga at least 3 times a week
You think being a yoga teacher you would have lots 'o time. Nope! It's not always that way. Working a fulltime job and going to massage school can definitely make it difficult at times. However, last night, I got home from work, changed my clothes and rolled out the mat. I didn't allow my mind/head to get in the way of that action, no way! I began doing gentle movement to warm up my body; sun salutations came next and then prepping for backbends. I love backbends and it's a workshop I am going to teach really soon. As I took myself in and out of about 4-5 backbends of Urdhva Dhanurasana (upward bow or wheel), I could feel my heart center bursting open with pleasure and relief. I could feel it from my head to my toes and then back up to my head. It was a total somatic/body experience. Then I transitioned into inversions: headstand and shoulderstand. After shoulderstand, I once again felt that surge of energy, but with a sense of calmness and peace. It was like that feeling I used to get when I first began doing yoga. When you just smoked pot for the first time and you have that floaty feeling. I then realized how much I missed my practice. My time to myself and with my body.
When I was in savasana, I basked in it. I allowed my body to let go and integrate everything I experienced in the practice. I visualized myself teaching what I just practiced and that felt so good. I ended in a seated position and chanted "Om".
I want more of that now. Even if I have limited time, I want to be there again. I will be.
Monday, June 1, 2009
The time has come
I feel ease and space in my body. I feel in alignment with what I want. I have started to clear my schedule and make time for what's important to me. It was hard and it took some time but it's happening because it NEEDED to happen.
I'm going to take a little hiatus from teaching yoga in order to pursue my career training as a massage therapist. It dawned on me this past weekend why I can't find time to practice and trade with my fellow classmates. I work full time, go to massage school and teach yoga. What about me? Once I made the decision, it was like a HUGE space cleared in my chest and abdomen. I even got someone to take over the class for me! So I know it's for the best. In the past, I used to just stick with things no matter what. Then I would get burnt out and physically ill. It was a way of my body saying, "You're doing too much!" "Stop it now!". As I get older, I can't ignore it anymore. I'm also not 21 or 25 anymore either. I want my thirties to be rich with knowledge and presence. I want to experience my massage training and career. I will always be able to teach yoga because it's a passion of mine that I've been practicing for almost 10 years! Sometimes we need to slow some things down when new possibilites come into our lives.
I'm so happy that I'm manifesting what I want and can feel, see and taste it.
I'm going to take a little hiatus from teaching yoga in order to pursue my career training as a massage therapist. It dawned on me this past weekend why I can't find time to practice and trade with my fellow classmates. I work full time, go to massage school and teach yoga. What about me? Once I made the decision, it was like a HUGE space cleared in my chest and abdomen. I even got someone to take over the class for me! So I know it's for the best. In the past, I used to just stick with things no matter what. Then I would get burnt out and physically ill. It was a way of my body saying, "You're doing too much!" "Stop it now!". As I get older, I can't ignore it anymore. I'm also not 21 or 25 anymore either. I want my thirties to be rich with knowledge and presence. I want to experience my massage training and career. I will always be able to teach yoga because it's a passion of mine that I've been practicing for almost 10 years! Sometimes we need to slow some things down when new possibilites come into our lives.
I'm so happy that I'm manifesting what I want and can feel, see and taste it.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
What's the Rush?
Seriously, what IS the rush? This rings so true for me and sometimes it's more intense on different occasions. It's something I teach in my yoga classes, yet I find myself not even practicing it at times. But then again, who's perfect? This has been an ongoing issue with me and I really delved into it last week in therapy (I know I posted it in a previous blog entry). This week I've been cutting myself some slack; being more compassionate and understanding towards myself in regards to time and getting things done. If I can acknowlegde myself for getting one thing done, I feel great! Instead of saying, "I didn't do enough" or "I just wasted so much time". Please! I've gotta lot going in my life at the moment and it's things that I love to do, so there! If people were a little easier on themselves about time and their to-do lists there would be more room for joy and ease in their lives.
I know people have kids and families to tend to and I'm fortunate at this point in my life not to have any kids. If I did, it would be a totally different ball game. But this is the way it is and I just take baby steps. One thing at a time. My mom would say that to me when I was younger and I totally didn't know what she was talking about. Then I got older and I was like how do I do that?!
It takes years but I feel like it's slowing coming into play. I've recognized the importance of "me" time and self-care. I can wind down for at least 5 minutes here and there, maybe longer if I'm lucky. When I get those longer moments, I bask in them like I'm on a sunny beach in Hawaii.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(From yogajournal.com daily insight)
Most of us are judged in life by how quickly we can get things done. Because of this, it's hard to develop the opposite mindset: one of slowing down, getting centered, and relaxing.
Many yoga classes start with a transitional period between public life and the privacy of the practice. In this period, students can simply build awareness of their own breath in order to prepare mentally, physically, and spiritually for practice. For some students, this process of slowing down is extremely difficult. Continually rushing from one activity to the next, many people are used to being hurried and impatient, so much so that it's almost impossible to relax.
If this is true for you, ask yourself: Am I rushing because I'm under stress or am I under stress because I'm rushing? Is it always necessary to hurry so much? Would you be able to run your life just as effectively at a slower pace? If so, take some small steps to slow it down, one day at a time.
IN THIS ISSUE
Being vs. Doing
http://www.yogajournal.com/wisdom/723
In the Zone
http://www.yogajournal.com/lifestyle/199
I know people have kids and families to tend to and I'm fortunate at this point in my life not to have any kids. If I did, it would be a totally different ball game. But this is the way it is and I just take baby steps. One thing at a time. My mom would say that to me when I was younger and I totally didn't know what she was talking about. Then I got older and I was like how do I do that?!
It takes years but I feel like it's slowing coming into play. I've recognized the importance of "me" time and self-care. I can wind down for at least 5 minutes here and there, maybe longer if I'm lucky. When I get those longer moments, I bask in them like I'm on a sunny beach in Hawaii.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(From yogajournal.com daily insight)
Most of us are judged in life by how quickly we can get things done. Because of this, it's hard to develop the opposite mindset: one of slowing down, getting centered, and relaxing.
Many yoga classes start with a transitional period between public life and the privacy of the practice. In this period, students can simply build awareness of their own breath in order to prepare mentally, physically, and spiritually for practice. For some students, this process of slowing down is extremely difficult. Continually rushing from one activity to the next, many people are used to being hurried and impatient, so much so that it's almost impossible to relax.
If this is true for you, ask yourself: Am I rushing because I'm under stress or am I under stress because I'm rushing? Is it always necessary to hurry so much? Would you be able to run your life just as effectively at a slower pace? If so, take some small steps to slow it down, one day at a time.
IN THIS ISSUE
Being vs. Doing
http://www.yogajournal.com/wisdom/723
In the Zone
http://www.yogajournal.com/lifestyle/199
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