Now that the melancholy is over, I'm just pure angry. It's all good. I've accepted it. I'm fine with being angry. To be angry is to be human. We get angry sometimes. We get sad sometimes.
For the past 5 days, it's been sad -> confused -> sad -> happy -> sad -> angry.
So what's next? God, I hope it's peace and joy. I want to create more peace, joy, and ease now. I want to brush off the anger like lint on my shirt. I want it to be as easy like a flick of a finger. But ya know what? It's not.
Deal with it.
Showing posts with label Joy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Joy. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Update: Proactive with my biz
So I feel very productive as I will get my updated website going before Sept 20, and I contacted the Student Coordinator at my massage school to set up an appointment! Yiiippee! PROGRESS! Love it! I'm celebrating my progress so far, which is so important to do. In the past, I always felt like I had to do these ginormous tasks to feel a sense of accomplishment, when really it's those little things that are really huge.
I've also been feeling the shift in the cosmos, as mercury is still in retrograde, I can feel "off". But this time I feel more clear and motivated than I ever have been. It's doing those uncomfortable things, which is what makes it all clear. I've been doing the things--that I normally would complain and bitch about--with more enthusiasm and joy. I've also been very aware of my use of language so I can get closer to what I want. Instead of saying, "I want this or that, but I can't have it because I need this or that", I say "I have it" or "I am it". In other words, I'm working on eliminating the "lack of" out of my language/vocabulary/statements. I value the knowledge I have, and I share it with others. I am inspiration, joy and abundance. I am perfect just the way I am.
I've also been feeling the shift in the cosmos, as mercury is still in retrograde, I can feel "off". But this time I feel more clear and motivated than I ever have been. It's doing those uncomfortable things, which is what makes it all clear. I've been doing the things--that I normally would complain and bitch about--with more enthusiasm and joy. I've also been very aware of my use of language so I can get closer to what I want. Instead of saying, "I want this or that, but I can't have it because I need this or that", I say "I have it" or "I am it". In other words, I'm working on eliminating the "lack of" out of my language/vocabulary/statements. I value the knowledge I have, and I share it with others. I am inspiration, joy and abundance. I am perfect just the way I am.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Proactive in my biz
I want to be more proactive in my business. I'm practicing my biz part time right now, which is fine, but I'm starting to get that itch for more. I've had this itch before, and usually made some excuse as to why I can't do it. Yes, I have some debt to pay off and the full time job is helping with that. I'm also seeing results! Something that I thought I wouldn't see...literally. It's happening!! So why not move forward with my passions. what I really want to do.
I have a rough checklist in my head of what I want to complete; however it's always better when you write it down:
1. Redo my website on weebly and transfer my domain by Sept 20
2. Complete my remaining massages classes on Sept 26 (already done)
3. Set up meeting with student coordinator at massage school by August 27
4. Submit my application for massage license in SF/CA with fingerprinting and photo by October 20
5. Teach a movement class in November
I like five items. If I add more, I get overwhelmed and feel I gotta do it all. That's where I stop being proactive, and more reactive.
My progress so far is going pretty well with #1. I'm still working out some kinks with the new website, but overall, I feel great about it. #2, I'm already signed up for the remaining massages classes I need to complete, so I already feel it's done! #3 is easy and takes 5 minutes. #4 and #5 will come once I have my meeting with the SC to see how much I have left in hours, and solid ideas set for teaching a movement class.
It's all stuff I want in my life. So I want feel joy and excitement in my body about them; while I'm doing them; and when they get done. Even if little bits get done, I'm going to celebrate that!
I have a rough checklist in my head of what I want to complete; however it's always better when you write it down:
1. Redo my website on weebly and transfer my domain by Sept 20
2. Complete my remaining massages classes on Sept 26 (already done)
3. Set up meeting with student coordinator at massage school by August 27
4. Submit my application for massage license in SF/CA with fingerprinting and photo by October 20
5. Teach a movement class in November
I like five items. If I add more, I get overwhelmed and feel I gotta do it all. That's where I stop being proactive, and more reactive.
My progress so far is going pretty well with #1. I'm still working out some kinks with the new website, but overall, I feel great about it. #2, I'm already signed up for the remaining massages classes I need to complete, so I already feel it's done! #3 is easy and takes 5 minutes. #4 and #5 will come once I have my meeting with the SC to see how much I have left in hours, and solid ideas set for teaching a movement class.
It's all stuff I want in my life. So I want feel joy and excitement in my body about them; while I'm doing them; and when they get done. Even if little bits get done, I'm going to celebrate that!
Monday, March 29, 2010
and so the river flows...
It's time to trust where i'm going. no more paddling upstream. i'm so tired. allow it to take me on my journey and trust that it's going to be okay. we're all on a river of our own experience, so let's support each other when we can. let's go with the flow. when fear and resistance join us, let's take it for the ride, instead of making us stop. i want to go with the flow. i want joy. i choose joy.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Stay-cation appreciation
Another alternative to vacation: stay-cation. I just learned this term yesterday. Sometimes just staying home for a week can be just as relaxing and replenishing as going away somewhere. I have found that, for me, it's truly a vacation. Last week, my mother came to visit. Since she's been to San Francisco before, we didn't have to do all those touristy things that you would normally do when visiting a new city. We would wake up whenever; have coffee, tea and breakfast; and then either go shopping, walking, visiting her brother in hayward, museum, or just lounge around. I'm very close with my mother these days than I have ever been in my life. I appreciate everything she has done right down to giving birth to me. I feel all the work I have done (and still doing) on myself has really made a difference in the people in my life, even those who would push my buttons or drive me crazy! This stay-cation really allowed me to appreciate everyone and everything around me--my apartment, the materials in my apartment, my job, my health, my husband, my family, my cats, the sunshine and sky!
So I decided to start a meditation practice for myself. Since I'm really busy at this time in my life, I decided to meditate for up to 10 minutes when I can. Focusing on what I'm grateful for and what I want to create for myself--career, life, with my husband, etc. This is something that my therapist recommended to me and I have found such wonderful value with it. I have experienced the joy and grateful-ness through my whole body and being and I want others to experience it too. Down the road, I want to build up my practice to a daily exercise. That's my goal and declaration.
So I decided to start a meditation practice for myself. Since I'm really busy at this time in my life, I decided to meditate for up to 10 minutes when I can. Focusing on what I'm grateful for and what I want to create for myself--career, life, with my husband, etc. This is something that my therapist recommended to me and I have found such wonderful value with it. I have experienced the joy and grateful-ness through my whole body and being and I want others to experience it too. Down the road, I want to build up my practice to a daily exercise. That's my goal and declaration.
Nothing to Envy
Something that I catch myself doing these days. I've always had that mind chatter, "You're not good enough" or "You don't deserve it". It's bullshit! I remember in the past envying what others in my life would have and it would get me down for good couple of hours (or days!). It's amazing what awarenesses come into view about yourself you thought didn't exist. Instead, I try to be grateful for what I have and be joyful for those who have what they have. The more I do this, the more I feel joy in my life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(From yogajournal.com daily insight)
Because we want to keep it hidden, envy can be particularly difficult to deal with. How many of us are willing to cop to the heart-twisting feeling that pops up when a friend calls to tell you she's just received a fellowship, or the sense of injustice that clouds your first glimpse of your wealthy friend's fabulous new apartment?
Envy so often looks like something else—resentment, perhaps, or a sense of dissatisfaction with your own life, your own income, your own family. For many people, envy simply merges with an overall feeling of not being quite good enough. Because envy is rooted in the feeling of lack or deficiency, the assumption that there's not enough to go around, its best antidotes will be practices that activate your own feelings of natural abundance.
Forget about the person you envy. Forget about what she has that you wish were yours. Look instead at the energy that feeling is made of, and you'll notice that nothing in the feeling has any real solidity. Perhaps, at that moment, you might open to the insight that the energy forming and dissolving within your mind and heart is not really separate from the energy around you. Perhaps, at that moment, you might realize that the person you envy is not really someone separate from you; that you lack nothing because you are, at your deepest core, part of a vast field of energy that contains potentially everything you could ever want or need.
IN THIS ISSUE
Nothing to Envy
http://www.yogajournal.com/wisdom/2545
The Wellspring of Joy
http://www.yogajournal.com/wisdom/1157
Think Pieces
http://www.yogajournal.com/practice/1106
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(From yogajournal.com daily insight)
Because we want to keep it hidden, envy can be particularly difficult to deal with. How many of us are willing to cop to the heart-twisting feeling that pops up when a friend calls to tell you she's just received a fellowship, or the sense of injustice that clouds your first glimpse of your wealthy friend's fabulous new apartment?
Envy so often looks like something else—resentment, perhaps, or a sense of dissatisfaction with your own life, your own income, your own family. For many people, envy simply merges with an overall feeling of not being quite good enough. Because envy is rooted in the feeling of lack or deficiency, the assumption that there's not enough to go around, its best antidotes will be practices that activate your own feelings of natural abundance.
Forget about the person you envy. Forget about what she has that you wish were yours. Look instead at the energy that feeling is made of, and you'll notice that nothing in the feeling has any real solidity. Perhaps, at that moment, you might open to the insight that the energy forming and dissolving within your mind and heart is not really separate from the energy around you. Perhaps, at that moment, you might realize that the person you envy is not really someone separate from you; that you lack nothing because you are, at your deepest core, part of a vast field of energy that contains potentially everything you could ever want or need.
IN THIS ISSUE
Nothing to Envy
http://www.yogajournal.com/wisdom/2545
The Wellspring of Joy
http://www.yogajournal.com/wisdom/1157
Think Pieces
http://www.yogajournal.com/practice/1106
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
My schedule speaks to me
In recent times, I've always jammed my schedule with as much as possible. Why? For many reasons, for which I don't want to go into and have mentioned in other blog entries. Well now it's like my body and mind are speaking to me every time I considering adding this or that, and they say, "Liz, what are you doing? You have massage school and it's a lot of time and commitment. What is your commitment?". These are the questions that came to me as I drove home last night from my yoga client's house after a session. It dawned on me that after giving up my Monday nite yoga class for more "time" in my life, I had to move my private yoga sessions to Monday because massage classes were starting on Tuesdays again! Aaaaahhhh!
So instead of the usual pondering I did in the past, "Oh but I feel bad if I quit", "I'm letting myself and others down". Blah, blah, BLAH! I automatically made the decision that I'm dropping my other group yoga class on Wednesdays (which in ways I don't know why I picked up, but do know at the same time). I feel I'm in this really Zen place these days. Very present and clear about what I want. Before I know it, it comes to me! I don't judge myself or beat myself up about it. That's the way it is and that's cool! I already took the class out of my calendar and I haven't even told them yet, which says a lot about letting go (that's HUGE for me). So I want to acknowledge myself for taking control of my life and choices to better serve my health and well-being. It's so vital to me at this point in my life as I enter my thirties. I want my thirties to be vibrant, shiny, energized and full of joy and community. It feels great and I'm going with that.
So instead of the usual pondering I did in the past, "Oh but I feel bad if I quit", "I'm letting myself and others down". Blah, blah, BLAH! I automatically made the decision that I'm dropping my other group yoga class on Wednesdays (which in ways I don't know why I picked up, but do know at the same time). I feel I'm in this really Zen place these days. Very present and clear about what I want. Before I know it, it comes to me! I don't judge myself or beat myself up about it. That's the way it is and that's cool! I already took the class out of my calendar and I haven't even told them yet, which says a lot about letting go (that's HUGE for me). So I want to acknowledge myself for taking control of my life and choices to better serve my health and well-being. It's so vital to me at this point in my life as I enter my thirties. I want my thirties to be vibrant, shiny, energized and full of joy and community. It feels great and I'm going with that.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Find Contentment
I find this so true with my life and what I see in others. For instance, my money projects have definitely gotten me down and I'm in the middle of one again. But I'm so aware now of how I get around money, it's really no big deal anymore, because I know now that it's going to be okay. I direct my attention to what brings me joy in my life--my husband, family, my cats, massage school. Yes! I would rather go with joy. It feels better and is more in alignment with who I truly am.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(From yogajournal.com daily insight)
Yoga is much more than a physical practice. It is also a philosophy about the way we should live. According to yogic philosophy, we cause ourselves pain by desiring things we don't have, but think that we need. In other words, we hurt ourselves by yearning after what's out of reach.
Santosa is a niyama, or guiding principle of yoga. This principle encourages us to develop contentment. It prescribes the merit of striving to be grateful for what we have rather than yearning for new and different things. The word "santosa" is also sometimes translated as happiness, because, by finding contentment with what we have, we also find joy, relaxation, and peace.
You can practice santosa in all aspects of your life-toward your family, friends, and your career.
IN THIS ISSUE
Cultivate Your Connections
http://www.yogajournal.com/wisdom/455
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(From yogajournal.com daily insight)
Yoga is much more than a physical practice. It is also a philosophy about the way we should live. According to yogic philosophy, we cause ourselves pain by desiring things we don't have, but think that we need. In other words, we hurt ourselves by yearning after what's out of reach.
Santosa is a niyama, or guiding principle of yoga. This principle encourages us to develop contentment. It prescribes the merit of striving to be grateful for what we have rather than yearning for new and different things. The word "santosa" is also sometimes translated as happiness, because, by finding contentment with what we have, we also find joy, relaxation, and peace.
You can practice santosa in all aspects of your life-toward your family, friends, and your career.
IN THIS ISSUE
Cultivate Your Connections
http://www.yogajournal.com/wisdom/455
Monday, June 1, 2009
The time has come
I feel ease and space in my body. I feel in alignment with what I want. I have started to clear my schedule and make time for what's important to me. It was hard and it took some time but it's happening because it NEEDED to happen.
I'm going to take a little hiatus from teaching yoga in order to pursue my career training as a massage therapist. It dawned on me this past weekend why I can't find time to practice and trade with my fellow classmates. I work full time, go to massage school and teach yoga. What about me? Once I made the decision, it was like a HUGE space cleared in my chest and abdomen. I even got someone to take over the class for me! So I know it's for the best. In the past, I used to just stick with things no matter what. Then I would get burnt out and physically ill. It was a way of my body saying, "You're doing too much!" "Stop it now!". As I get older, I can't ignore it anymore. I'm also not 21 or 25 anymore either. I want my thirties to be rich with knowledge and presence. I want to experience my massage training and career. I will always be able to teach yoga because it's a passion of mine that I've been practicing for almost 10 years! Sometimes we need to slow some things down when new possibilites come into our lives.
I'm so happy that I'm manifesting what I want and can feel, see and taste it.
I'm going to take a little hiatus from teaching yoga in order to pursue my career training as a massage therapist. It dawned on me this past weekend why I can't find time to practice and trade with my fellow classmates. I work full time, go to massage school and teach yoga. What about me? Once I made the decision, it was like a HUGE space cleared in my chest and abdomen. I even got someone to take over the class for me! So I know it's for the best. In the past, I used to just stick with things no matter what. Then I would get burnt out and physically ill. It was a way of my body saying, "You're doing too much!" "Stop it now!". As I get older, I can't ignore it anymore. I'm also not 21 or 25 anymore either. I want my thirties to be rich with knowledge and presence. I want to experience my massage training and career. I will always be able to teach yoga because it's a passion of mine that I've been practicing for almost 10 years! Sometimes we need to slow some things down when new possibilites come into our lives.
I'm so happy that I'm manifesting what I want and can feel, see and taste it.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
What's the Rush?
Seriously, what IS the rush? This rings so true for me and sometimes it's more intense on different occasions. It's something I teach in my yoga classes, yet I find myself not even practicing it at times. But then again, who's perfect? This has been an ongoing issue with me and I really delved into it last week in therapy (I know I posted it in a previous blog entry). This week I've been cutting myself some slack; being more compassionate and understanding towards myself in regards to time and getting things done. If I can acknowlegde myself for getting one thing done, I feel great! Instead of saying, "I didn't do enough" or "I just wasted so much time". Please! I've gotta lot going in my life at the moment and it's things that I love to do, so there! If people were a little easier on themselves about time and their to-do lists there would be more room for joy and ease in their lives.
I know people have kids and families to tend to and I'm fortunate at this point in my life not to have any kids. If I did, it would be a totally different ball game. But this is the way it is and I just take baby steps. One thing at a time. My mom would say that to me when I was younger and I totally didn't know what she was talking about. Then I got older and I was like how do I do that?!
It takes years but I feel like it's slowing coming into play. I've recognized the importance of "me" time and self-care. I can wind down for at least 5 minutes here and there, maybe longer if I'm lucky. When I get those longer moments, I bask in them like I'm on a sunny beach in Hawaii.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(From yogajournal.com daily insight)
Most of us are judged in life by how quickly we can get things done. Because of this, it's hard to develop the opposite mindset: one of slowing down, getting centered, and relaxing.
Many yoga classes start with a transitional period between public life and the privacy of the practice. In this period, students can simply build awareness of their own breath in order to prepare mentally, physically, and spiritually for practice. For some students, this process of slowing down is extremely difficult. Continually rushing from one activity to the next, many people are used to being hurried and impatient, so much so that it's almost impossible to relax.
If this is true for you, ask yourself: Am I rushing because I'm under stress or am I under stress because I'm rushing? Is it always necessary to hurry so much? Would you be able to run your life just as effectively at a slower pace? If so, take some small steps to slow it down, one day at a time.
IN THIS ISSUE
Being vs. Doing
http://www.yogajournal.com/wisdom/723
In the Zone
http://www.yogajournal.com/lifestyle/199
I know people have kids and families to tend to and I'm fortunate at this point in my life not to have any kids. If I did, it would be a totally different ball game. But this is the way it is and I just take baby steps. One thing at a time. My mom would say that to me when I was younger and I totally didn't know what she was talking about. Then I got older and I was like how do I do that?!
It takes years but I feel like it's slowing coming into play. I've recognized the importance of "me" time and self-care. I can wind down for at least 5 minutes here and there, maybe longer if I'm lucky. When I get those longer moments, I bask in them like I'm on a sunny beach in Hawaii.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(From yogajournal.com daily insight)
Most of us are judged in life by how quickly we can get things done. Because of this, it's hard to develop the opposite mindset: one of slowing down, getting centered, and relaxing.
Many yoga classes start with a transitional period between public life and the privacy of the practice. In this period, students can simply build awareness of their own breath in order to prepare mentally, physically, and spiritually for practice. For some students, this process of slowing down is extremely difficult. Continually rushing from one activity to the next, many people are used to being hurried and impatient, so much so that it's almost impossible to relax.
If this is true for you, ask yourself: Am I rushing because I'm under stress or am I under stress because I'm rushing? Is it always necessary to hurry so much? Would you be able to run your life just as effectively at a slower pace? If so, take some small steps to slow it down, one day at a time.
IN THIS ISSUE
Being vs. Doing
http://www.yogajournal.com/wisdom/723
In the Zone
http://www.yogajournal.com/lifestyle/199
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Massage School
I started massage school this past Thursday and the weekend. What an amazing time I've had and I've met such wonderful people. I feel this is truly my calling. I just gotta keep practicing as much as I can and, yes, get a massage table! I'm taking Vibrational Healing Massage as my first module w/ an anatomy module which will really help even more. This type of massage is based on the Fluid Body Model created/invented by Patricia Cramer. It says that our bodies are made up of mostly fluid and liquid. If we practice this fluid body model more we can begin to feel the benefits and healing in our own bodies.
I could go on and on about that but I'm still learning and putting it into my own words. I'm so excited!
I could go on and on about that but I'm still learning and putting it into my own words. I'm so excited!
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Creating for 2009
So it's 2009! Wow, how time flies. There are many things that I'm grateful for and would like to celebrate for 2008:
-I completed my Holistic Health Practitioner Program Talk (20min in front of 50 people!)
-Work on my business newsletter and website
-Practice Yoga
-Didn't judge myself after my husband reacted to something I said (Big One for me!)
-Celebrated my 1st wedding anniversary with my awesome husband
-My cold is going away
-I have a job!
-I cooked xmas dinner with my husband for 7 friends
So that's 8 things and I know I could go on. But when I woke up this a.m. I began to reflect upon what I want to create this year. I want to create more abundance in my life of connections with people, income and celebration. After completing the Holistic Health Program, I realized how I don't celebrate or acknowledge things about me. Even the little things such as I got out of bed this a.m. That's big for some people! It helps us really be in the present, especially during those times when we get caught up in that negative self-talk (what if this happens...I should or should not do this or that...there's just not enough...). It's also a great thing to do when practicing yoga. As I was practicing this a.m., I would pause in a pose, be with my breath which connected me to the present moment. Even if it was a pose I was struggling with, I was with it. Not against it. We should celebrate the good with the bad; the positive with the negative; the stress with the calm; the happy with the sad/angry. It's very humbling and healthy.
So I invite everyone to celebrate life and prosperity this year. We deserve it!
oxoxoxo
Liz
-I completed my Holistic Health Practitioner Program Talk (20min in front of 50 people!)
-Work on my business newsletter and website
-Practice Yoga
-Didn't judge myself after my husband reacted to something I said (Big One for me!)
-Celebrated my 1st wedding anniversary with my awesome husband
-My cold is going away
-I have a job!
-I cooked xmas dinner with my husband for 7 friends
So that's 8 things and I know I could go on. But when I woke up this a.m. I began to reflect upon what I want to create this year. I want to create more abundance in my life of connections with people, income and celebration. After completing the Holistic Health Program, I realized how I don't celebrate or acknowledge things about me. Even the little things such as I got out of bed this a.m. That's big for some people! It helps us really be in the present, especially during those times when we get caught up in that negative self-talk (what if this happens...I should or should not do this or that...there's just not enough...). It's also a great thing to do when practicing yoga. As I was practicing this a.m., I would pause in a pose, be with my breath which connected me to the present moment. Even if it was a pose I was struggling with, I was with it. Not against it. We should celebrate the good with the bad; the positive with the negative; the stress with the calm; the happy with the sad/angry. It's very humbling and healthy.
So I invite everyone to celebrate life and prosperity this year. We deserve it!
oxoxoxo
Liz
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Mission Accomplished
Wow what a weekend I had! I graduated from the Holistic Health program and now a Holsitic Health Practitioner! Yay! I survived my 20 minute talk and graduation ceremony. It was such a full weekend of love and appreciation from students, faculty, family and friends. I was amazed at how natural and smooth my talk went. I think being a yoga teacher helped a lot and of course, I had the most supportive audience ever! But my teacher's feedback was very warm and constructive. It was like I could do it again and I can't wait to do it again! Now it's just to sit back and bask in all the love.
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