Tuesday, March 9, 2010

with everyone still

I had a hard time falling asleep last night.  I feel after the weekend I had at the Butoh Ritual Mexicano workshop, I'm still feeling everyone's energy and there was a point last night when I wanted it to stop.  Of course, I have many people I love with me within my heart, but I've learned how to guard and shield myself in a healthy way, so I don't take on others' energy.  However, I let my guard down over the weekend and it drained me.  I have continued to take care of myself since then, but last night was intense and just loud.  Making all those connections with people was truly powerful, beautiful and profound, but I feel I took on too much at a point. 

Now I feel I'm recovering on an energy body level, not quite all physical and mental/emotional.  Last night, I was still with everyone and they were with me.  There was this sense of attachment which could have been both positive and negative. Healthy and unhealthy.  I don't like it and I like it.  It's a true paradox I find myself in now and for quite some time.  I'm going to seek advice from my friends who are energy workers and deal with this on a daily basis.  I know it'll be okay, it's just an uneasy feeling.

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