Monday, April 30, 2012
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Is your life worth watching?
"One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure its worth watching."
- Anon
Last week, when I came upon this quote, it helped ease some sadness. I lost a very dear person to me. Although, we hadn’t spoken in years, I always kept a warm place in my heart for him. Then, finding out that he had battled an illness for years and lost was both surreal and shocking. However, as I read his obituary, I had come to found out that he had a wife, two kids and continued to enjoy his love of music. This part made the ache feel a bit better. Matt was an amazing, energetic, and electric drummer, who had such a passion for playing and creating music. He will be missed.
Knowing (and feeling) that he lived a good, rich life eased the sadness I was feeling.
However, you really can get whacked in the face with your mortality when someone young and/or close to you dies, especially if you had a history with them. I learned a lot from the relationship we shared, and it contributed so much to my personal growth in my present relationships, as well as with myself.
The day after I found out he passed (which was a day after he literally left his body), I shot up in bed at 5:15am and sensed him. He was on my mind, and I believe that when someone who has passed on fills your thoughts and vision, they are lingering there.
It was a very profound, peaceful, and bittersweet moment. Tears of sadness and joy washed over me and I knew I had to be present for these emotions. Here. Now. I allowed myself to let go and say good-bye. Although it hurt me, it comforted me at the same time.
I knew he left happy and complete as he ever could be. I’m sure as his life flashed before his eyes, he was like, “Damn. That’s cool!” I hope when my spirit moves on, I have feelings of love, compassion, acceptance and gratitude. I know this can be a dark, and often, unpleasant subject for some, but when loved ones pass on, it should be a time for celebrating their life. We must embrace all the feelings that arise and not rush through them.
It’s a process. And, with like most processes, they need attention. Sometimes, there are processes that are more painful and difficult. So that’s why family, friends, and a supportive community can help ease you along the way.
What are you grateful for RIGHT NOW in this MOMENT? What if you knew you didn't have a moment left? What would you do? Say?
Good food for thought.....
- Anon
Last week, when I came upon this quote, it helped ease some sadness. I lost a very dear person to me. Although, we hadn’t spoken in years, I always kept a warm place in my heart for him. Then, finding out that he had battled an illness for years and lost was both surreal and shocking. However, as I read his obituary, I had come to found out that he had a wife, two kids and continued to enjoy his love of music. This part made the ache feel a bit better. Matt was an amazing, energetic, and electric drummer, who had such a passion for playing and creating music. He will be missed.
Knowing (and feeling) that he lived a good, rich life eased the sadness I was feeling.
However, you really can get whacked in the face with your mortality when someone young and/or close to you dies, especially if you had a history with them. I learned a lot from the relationship we shared, and it contributed so much to my personal growth in my present relationships, as well as with myself.
The day after I found out he passed (which was a day after he literally left his body), I shot up in bed at 5:15am and sensed him. He was on my mind, and I believe that when someone who has passed on fills your thoughts and vision, they are lingering there.
It was a very profound, peaceful, and bittersweet moment. Tears of sadness and joy washed over me and I knew I had to be present for these emotions. Here. Now. I allowed myself to let go and say good-bye. Although it hurt me, it comforted me at the same time.
I knew he left happy and complete as he ever could be. I’m sure as his life flashed before his eyes, he was like, “Damn. That’s cool!” I hope when my spirit moves on, I have feelings of love, compassion, acceptance and gratitude. I know this can be a dark, and often, unpleasant subject for some, but when loved ones pass on, it should be a time for celebrating their life. We must embrace all the feelings that arise and not rush through them.
It’s a process. And, with like most processes, they need attention. Sometimes, there are processes that are more painful and difficult. So that’s why family, friends, and a supportive community can help ease you along the way.
I'm grateful for what I have in my life -- people, experiences, even jobs!
Good food for thought.....
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Lean into the Expansion
"Growth demands a temporary surrender of security."- Gail Sheehy
This quote revealed something to me today. Although, I already knew what it was, it really brought it in the present moment for me.
It reminds me of when, in the past, I chose to stay in the familiar, safe place, so I didn’t have to feel uncomfortable. Then I would wonder why I was anxious all the time. Of course, there were a lot of reasons and stories involved. The main reason was I had a need for growth and expansion. I didn’t realize I had a lot of to offer to others. I also didn’t realize how hard I was on myself. That if I tried that and it didn’t work out, I was a failure. That it was the end-all, be-all of my existence if I did that or even tried it.
For instance, playing board games. You would think, board games are pretty fun. You enjoy some and don’t enjoy some. So, what’s the big deal about playing a board game, Liz? Well, it was a big deal to me a few years ago. I hated losing. I had this story that if I lost a game, I wasn’t good enough or stupid. I remember as a little kid, playing lots of games and enjoyed it a lot. But I know in all the personal growth and healing I have done, it took only one event that would turn me away from playing games forever.
I have a big family, and one side are VERY competitive when it comes to games. After holiday meals or other celebration meals, we would play some type of board game. About 15-20 minutes into it, everyone is yelling at each other or putting each other down for something. I know now a lot of it was their own stuff, especially when you have brothers, sisters, grandchildren and parents involved in the game. The moments for me were when if you made a mistake with your move or answered the wrong trivia question, you got put down. Now, there is a fun, light way of doing this, but certain family members didn’t always do it that way. It happened frequently, and I began to take it all personally. I’m a sensitive person, and as a young person, I didn’t have the tools to guard myself or be compassionate toward myself, and that it really is just a game.
So I ended up creating the story that board games and games in general were JUST NOT FUN.
However, deep down, I knew this wasn’t true. In fact, when I chose to opt out of a game and just watch, I could feel my inner child screaming, “I wanna play! It’s fun!”. But it was the other part of me that protected and guarded myself from the losing part, when losing is really all about learning!
Ding! I won there! How can you learn anything new without trying? I tried yoga. Love it. Went through teacher training, and now teach it. Yes, I went through lots of trial and error work, because that was the only way I was going to find out if something worked or not. I used to beat myself up, if one student out of the whole group came once and never came back. But, in the grand scheme of it all, look at how many DO show up.
Gosh! It’s amazing what the ego can say to us. Not that it’s always bad. All of the strategies we performed in order to survive through something or with someone, worked! At least at one point. But, if it’s a coping strategy or story that isn’t serving us anymore NOW, then why hold onto it?
When something doesn’t work for us anymore, don’t we seek solutions toward changing it?
What is it doing for us now? Do we still get the same results? Is it allowing us to move toward what we really want and desire? Is it helping us succeed in our relationships, jobs, businesses, and families?
So, if you begin to move out of your comfort zone, notice what comes up. If it’s something you truly, deeply want, then do it. Lean into the expansion, instead of pushing against it.
This quote revealed something to me today. Although, I already knew what it was, it really brought it in the present moment for me.
It reminds me of when, in the past, I chose to stay in the familiar, safe place, so I didn’t have to feel uncomfortable. Then I would wonder why I was anxious all the time. Of course, there were a lot of reasons and stories involved. The main reason was I had a need for growth and expansion. I didn’t realize I had a lot of to offer to others. I also didn’t realize how hard I was on myself. That if I tried that and it didn’t work out, I was a failure. That it was the end-all, be-all of my existence if I did that or even tried it.
For instance, playing board games. You would think, board games are pretty fun. You enjoy some and don’t enjoy some. So, what’s the big deal about playing a board game, Liz? Well, it was a big deal to me a few years ago. I hated losing. I had this story that if I lost a game, I wasn’t good enough or stupid. I remember as a little kid, playing lots of games and enjoyed it a lot. But I know in all the personal growth and healing I have done, it took only one event that would turn me away from playing games forever.
I have a big family, and one side are VERY competitive when it comes to games. After holiday meals or other celebration meals, we would play some type of board game. About 15-20 minutes into it, everyone is yelling at each other or putting each other down for something. I know now a lot of it was their own stuff, especially when you have brothers, sisters, grandchildren and parents involved in the game. The moments for me were when if you made a mistake with your move or answered the wrong trivia question, you got put down. Now, there is a fun, light way of doing this, but certain family members didn’t always do it that way. It happened frequently, and I began to take it all personally. I’m a sensitive person, and as a young person, I didn’t have the tools to guard myself or be compassionate toward myself, and that it really is just a game.
So I ended up creating the story that board games and games in general were JUST NOT FUN.
However, deep down, I knew this wasn’t true. In fact, when I chose to opt out of a game and just watch, I could feel my inner child screaming, “I wanna play! It’s fun!”. But it was the other part of me that protected and guarded myself from the losing part, when losing is really all about learning!
Ding! I won there! How can you learn anything new without trying? I tried yoga. Love it. Went through teacher training, and now teach it. Yes, I went through lots of trial and error work, because that was the only way I was going to find out if something worked or not. I used to beat myself up, if one student out of the whole group came once and never came back. But, in the grand scheme of it all, look at how many DO show up.
Gosh! It’s amazing what the ego can say to us. Not that it’s always bad. All of the strategies we performed in order to survive through something or with someone, worked! At least at one point. But, if it’s a coping strategy or story that isn’t serving us anymore NOW, then why hold onto it?
When something doesn’t work for us anymore, don’t we seek solutions toward changing it?
What is it doing for us now? Do we still get the same results? Is it allowing us to move toward what we really want and desire? Is it helping us succeed in our relationships, jobs, businesses, and families?
So, if you begin to move out of your comfort zone, notice what comes up. If it’s something you truly, deeply want, then do it. Lean into the expansion, instead of pushing against it.
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