There's a feeling of discombopulation when i return to san francisco from the east coast-home. i still consider it home because that's where i was brought up and all my family is still there. i definitely ran around, visiting people a lot. but there's always disappointment when i didn't see people i wanted to see. i mean i tried. i knew and was prepared that i only had a week to squeeze everyone in!
i know there will be another visit, but perhaps it's going to be more permanent. my husband and i have decided that we're going to move back to the east coast. we're giving ourselves another full year on the west coast to pay off some debt and go see some places we neglected to see in the past 6 years. it was really nice being home for the holidays and in general. having family and friends close whether it's a 5 minute drive or a 5 hour drive, it's pretty cool. i now have a lot of things to complete before this happens and i want them believe me. i must pace myself with that and know that i'm good and i'll do my best to complete them. i want to give myself space and time to complete these things until i return to the east coast. what a way to end the year.....
Showing posts with label home. Show all posts
Showing posts with label home. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Going home....
Going home used to be a bunch of mixed feelings. Depending on the time of year, I would think about weather, how many people I could see in THE amount of time and was I going to have time to myself. sometimes these thoughts turned into worries and concerns and then eventually into anxiety attacks, but now it's more clear. a lot has happened in these past few months. joe and i had to go to the east coast twice. once unexpectedly because of a friend's passing and the other for a friend's wedding. 2 quite different extremes i must say. i look forward to seeing who i am going to see and hope to see. then a week ago finding out another person i knew passed away really gave me a shove, a push. what the fucks going? so many memories of this person began coming into my space and mind. i used to hang out with his sister all the time in elementary and middle school. then in high school, we went our different ways but still remained civil.
it's going home that reconnects me to the past while being in the present. it's very surreal and emotional just acknowledging it right now. being 3000 miles away from home is what makes it so surreal. then i go home and there's this energy in the air i don't know what to do with but just be with. as i would look on facebook of all the people who knew ivan, i would see faces of people who once knew me in the past. how disconnected i was from myself then. i would think, "did they see that?", "was i really not aware?". then again, it was high school. i wasn't a happy person inside even though i was a pro at showing it on the outside.
so i look forward to going home with so much comfort and ease now. i hope to meet up with some of these people and friends of the past. it's not to show them that i turned out fine, but to just see them again. talk to them. love them. i want to let go of all those judgments i had of myself and them. yes, i want freedom and joy! Bring it on universe!
happy holidays!
it's going home that reconnects me to the past while being in the present. it's very surreal and emotional just acknowledging it right now. being 3000 miles away from home is what makes it so surreal. then i go home and there's this energy in the air i don't know what to do with but just be with. as i would look on facebook of all the people who knew ivan, i would see faces of people who once knew me in the past. how disconnected i was from myself then. i would think, "did they see that?", "was i really not aware?". then again, it was high school. i wasn't a happy person inside even though i was a pro at showing it on the outside.
so i look forward to going home with so much comfort and ease now. i hope to meet up with some of these people and friends of the past. it's not to show them that i turned out fine, but to just see them again. talk to them. love them. i want to let go of all those judgments i had of myself and them. yes, i want freedom and joy! Bring it on universe!
happy holidays!
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Bring Balance Home
Why do you do yoga? If you just started, or are thinking about it, what inspired you? If you don't practice yoga, what tools do you use to create a sense of balance for yourself? I loved reading this article because it's such a nice reminder for me. When I go too long without practicing, my body feels it, emotionally and physically. When I've REALLY gone too long, I feel really disconnected with myself. That's the reason I always go back to the mat. I always find something new or something I had put aside for another time. I feel we all are striving for some form of balance in our life, whether we know it or not.
After receiving some amazing energy and bodywork the other day, my theme came out to be "Integration". This means all the tools have in movement, dance, yoga, coaching and massage, and being able to mesh them together in a business. Perhaps that's why I call my biz "Moving Yogi"? There's always a constant flow of these tools and teachings within me that may surface more than the other. I've been realizing that over the past year, especially since I've added massage to box. Of course, there's a lot of mind chatter that wants to impede on this journey, this realization, which is fine and Thank you, Mind Chatter! But I know what's real, what feels good and what's right to me in my path. As for this article's theme and title, "Bring Balance Home", I literally want to bring it home to me, within me and around me. I can use yoga and meditation to access this and help others access it. I want to integrate yoga and coaching, yoga and dance, yoga and massage, massage and coaching, massage and movement, etc., etc., etc.........
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(From yogajournal.com daily insight)
There's a reason we refer to our yoga as "practice": It's an opportunity to practice whatever qualities we want to see more of in our lives. Sometimes we do yoga to cultivate patience, clarity, or bravery. Other times, our list is more tangible: We want a strong upper body, increased energy, or open hips. The reasons we practice inevitably change as we go through career moves, love affairs, pregnancies, and other life transitions.
They also change from day to day. Developing a personal yoga practice allows us to devise a specific program to give ourselves what we really need at any given time. We get on the mat whenever we can, for whatever length of time, in whatever amount of space is available to us. This practical approach is a first step toward integrating yoga into everyday life.
Today, why not try unrolling your mat and practicing a little on your own. Even if it's just for 15 minutes at a time, the work you do at home will strengthen your practice by making you a more conscious and independent yoga practitioner. Even if you prematurely give up on a pose that makes you feel uncomfortable or forget a sequence you're working on, each small home practice session will help you build up to a longer, more meaningful home practice.
IN THIS ISSUE
Why Do We Practice?
http://www.yogajournal.com/basics/1153
Bringing Your Practice Home
http://www.yogajournal.com/basics/819
After receiving some amazing energy and bodywork the other day, my theme came out to be "Integration". This means all the tools have in movement, dance, yoga, coaching and massage, and being able to mesh them together in a business. Perhaps that's why I call my biz "Moving Yogi"? There's always a constant flow of these tools and teachings within me that may surface more than the other. I've been realizing that over the past year, especially since I've added massage to box. Of course, there's a lot of mind chatter that wants to impede on this journey, this realization, which is fine and Thank you, Mind Chatter! But I know what's real, what feels good and what's right to me in my path. As for this article's theme and title, "Bring Balance Home", I literally want to bring it home to me, within me and around me. I can use yoga and meditation to access this and help others access it. I want to integrate yoga and coaching, yoga and dance, yoga and massage, massage and coaching, massage and movement, etc., etc., etc.........
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(From yogajournal.com daily insight)
There's a reason we refer to our yoga as "practice": It's an opportunity to practice whatever qualities we want to see more of in our lives. Sometimes we do yoga to cultivate patience, clarity, or bravery. Other times, our list is more tangible: We want a strong upper body, increased energy, or open hips. The reasons we practice inevitably change as we go through career moves, love affairs, pregnancies, and other life transitions.
They also change from day to day. Developing a personal yoga practice allows us to devise a specific program to give ourselves what we really need at any given time. We get on the mat whenever we can, for whatever length of time, in whatever amount of space is available to us. This practical approach is a first step toward integrating yoga into everyday life.
Today, why not try unrolling your mat and practicing a little on your own. Even if it's just for 15 minutes at a time, the work you do at home will strengthen your practice by making you a more conscious and independent yoga practitioner. Even if you prematurely give up on a pose that makes you feel uncomfortable or forget a sequence you're working on, each small home practice session will help you build up to a longer, more meaningful home practice.
IN THIS ISSUE
Why Do We Practice?
http://www.yogajournal.com/basics/1153
Bringing Your Practice Home
http://www.yogajournal.com/basics/819
Friday, April 24, 2009
Why Practice?
(From yogajournal.com daily insight)
I absolutely love these emails I get from yoga journal everyday. There's always something to ponder, wonder, or reflect about myself. Why do I practice yoga? is a question to reflect on. I not only love the poses but my overall state of being is enhanced and intensified. Something to investigate for myself.
It's no secret that we often do things for reasons we're totally unaware of. Sometimes our unconscious motives become clear only after a good deal of reflection. So it's important to realize that questioning the intent of our practice inevitably leads us to inquire about the meaning of our life as well. We could just as pertinently ask: Why am I really alive?
At the outset, it's natural to assume that our practice and our life are totally separate, that we practice for an hour or so a day and then forget about it. But after a while, the two inevitably begin to merge. As Sri Aurobindo, the great 20th-century Indian sage and progenitor of Integral Yoga, reminds us, "All life is yoga."
IN THIS ISSUE
Why Do We Practice?
http://www.yogajournal.com/basics/1153
Bringing Your Practice Home
http://www.yogajournal.com/basics/819
I absolutely love these emails I get from yoga journal everyday. There's always something to ponder, wonder, or reflect about myself. Why do I practice yoga? is a question to reflect on. I not only love the poses but my overall state of being is enhanced and intensified. Something to investigate for myself.
It's no secret that we often do things for reasons we're totally unaware of. Sometimes our unconscious motives become clear only after a good deal of reflection. So it's important to realize that questioning the intent of our practice inevitably leads us to inquire about the meaning of our life as well. We could just as pertinently ask: Why am I really alive?
At the outset, it's natural to assume that our practice and our life are totally separate, that we practice for an hour or so a day and then forget about it. But after a while, the two inevitably begin to merge. As Sri Aurobindo, the great 20th-century Indian sage and progenitor of Integral Yoga, reminds us, "All life is yoga."
IN THIS ISSUE
Why Do We Practice?
http://www.yogajournal.com/basics/1153
Bringing Your Practice Home
http://www.yogajournal.com/basics/819
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