After the performance....

So the show I put on with my fellow co-producer/collaborator, Limbo: What Happens Between, was a success! I can't believe it's over. All that work really paid off and then when it's over, one can say, "what now?" or what I say, "Alright! Time to pamper myself!". That is what I'm doing this week. I put my body, mind and spirit through a lot this weekend and it was all very wonderful. But my body is feeling the toll and I could use some bodywork! Today, after work, I'll be getting deep tissue and then Thursday some Vibrational Healing Massage. Overall, I'm very happy with the way the show turned out. We got great feedback from people and people loved it! I'll be posting some video footage of just my piece. I have to say, my work is very personal, intense and cathartic. I had an emotional release after my performance on Saturday night. I really went deep into those dark places with my piece. That's really what butoh is about in many ways. Allowing to let yourself go into those places and let go of what you think you are or how you may look to others. Things really can manifest in this work which is why I would love to teach it. So many things I wanna do! We'll see.

I am celebration!

I have to celebrate that I completed my massage clinic hours for one of my modules! Yaayyy! It gives me a sense of accomplishment and validity, that, Wow! I can really get through this program! Yes I have had mind chatter and negative self-talk about completing the massage program I'm enrolled in, but seeing results is so invigorating to my whole being! Bodywork is connection. Connection to everything in the body, mind, spirit and soul. During my holistic health program last year, we had to write our life's purpose. My life purpose was (is) "I am love and acceptance". I want to expand on that, "I am love, acceptance and celebration". I want to put the energy out into the universe that I will receive, love and accept everything in my path, regardless of positive or negative. Wow, this feels great in my belly right now!

I've realized that you can celebrate anything--waking up in the morning, getting out of bed, eating a meal, tying your shoe, etc. It doesn't have to be this huge thing. Whatever it is to you is what matters.

What do you want to celebrate?

Rest Easy

For one who is into the "natural way", I use essential oils for something everyday. I find they really help with most ailments. If you do suffer from insomnia, try the advice from this Yoga Journal article.

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(From yogajournal.com daily insight)

Americans annually spend more than $3.5 billion on prescription sleep medications. Though pills may be tempting if you're one of the 56 percent of insomnia sufferers, Michael Breus, a clinical psychologist and the author of Beauty Sleep, says there are plenty of natural methods to try first:

Essential oils of lavender, chamomile, ylang-ylang, and vanilla help the brain regulate the stress hormone cortisol. In a spray bottle, mix a few drops of essential oil with filtered water. Spray on your pillowcase.

Spend 10 minutes before bedtime massaging pressure points on the inside and outside of your heels. They can "take your consciousness into your body to relax," says yoga therapist Jnani Chapman.

IN THIS ISSUE
Rest Easy

http://www.yogajournal.com/health/2559
Good Scents

http://www.yogajournal.com/health/1100

Connecting with myself

Wow, it's been a crazy month! Lots of stuff, growth and projects. Over the past month, I've realized how important it is to really take care of yourself physically, emotionally and spiritually. A month ago, my friend from college passed away suddenly. It was a very surreal experience for me, my husband and the friends I reconnected with at the funeral. Even though it was a sad time, it was also celebration time. Celebration of life! This friend really moved a lot of people in different ways.

Before this happened, I had decided to cut back on my massage school classes to give myself some space and a break. I decided it was time to really connect with my emotions and my needs. As I've been doing this over the past month, shifts and changes have occurred and I don't feel the resistance. I moved through whatever it was that came up and to just, be with myself; give compassion to myself; give myself time to process and rest. Of course, we all get into bad moods and I sure let myself be in one about a week ago. But it's good to acknowledge that it's happening and choose what to do next. I chose ease and joy. So I dug into my toolbox and did some breathing, yoga, talked to people or had some alone time. These were things that I would never do for myself in the past. I used to feel I always had to keep pushing and pushing through. It's okay to do that to a point, but I needed to check in with myself on those occasions when frustration or anger would occur. I would say to myself, "Hey Liz, what's going?", "How do you feel?", "What do you need?". Sometimes I wouldn't know the answers right away, but that's okay. Perhaps, it was about accepting what is and not getting myself tangled up with it, which would create more tension.

We did an exercise in class last night and it was to answer the question, "Who loves me?". one of the people I wrote was ME! I appreciate myself for connecting, being, accepting, feeling, needing, caring, and loving myself. In the past I never had a lot of self-confidence and now I can say, and believe, that I do! What a ride!

Moving on, moving through with yoga

So my body is in transition from the birth control pill. Since my last post, I've been having episodes of strong emotions and moments of mood changes. I'm glad that I know things still work down there, especially for the day when I actually want to conceive a baby! Over the weekend I definitely had some ups and downs with the mood, but I was so amazed and happy for myself that I stayed present. I didn't let the "symptoms" take over. I acknowledged them and gave myself compassion about it. I mean, if this is what my body needs to do in order to find balance again, then let's go with it! I'm sick of resisting. Just let it flow, literally! I'm glad I had performances this weekend because the movement and expression helped move that energy along. It brought me back into my body, to the temple. Sunday afternoon was when I really let it move. After I finished some laundry, I decided to do some yoga for the menstrual cycle, even though my body was experiencing something else. I just felt out of balance. I needed to bring myself back into balance. I did a wonderful hour of restorative yoga, geared toward the process my body was going through. I welcomed the sensations with ease, taking deep breaths and had the aid of some essential oils. Aromatherapy and yoga, what a concept! I'm doing this all the time now. I already noticed a difference in my overall self after the first pose. Yoga really supports the whole body's system. As I moved from one pose to the next, I could feel my mood shift and my body relax. I felt like I was coming back into me. One can get so lost when there's so much going on around them and with them. I'm keeping an eye on how things progress and will call my GYN if need be. But the more I relax and let go around it, the more progress I see happen faster and better! This has inspired me to teach this yoga to women. A yoga class/workshop geared toward women's health around the menstrual cycle. I know this involves more training but maybe starting off simple would be a great start.

Hormones

I'm taking a break from the birth control pill this month and it's been a long time since I've felt hormones! It's amazing what women's bodies do every month. WAY back in the day, when a woman was on her cycle, it was a sacred time for women. They would be pampered, respected and powerful. Same goes with birth. But this menstrual cycle is very intriguing. I guess I've never really thought about it in this way before. In the past, I used to just look at it as a pain in the ass; if i didn't get it during the usual time frame, OH SHIT!; I felt insane, emotional, gross and drained. Through my holistic health training, I've learned from other women how they embrace their menstrual cycle before, during and after. Why not work with my body, than against it? Why not love and support myself during this time, instead of being repulsed or agitated? Why not just be with it?
From seeing doctors and acupuncturists about PMS, I've learned over the years how my body reacts to diet during this sacred time. How caffeine, alcohol, and sugar can just exacerbate the symptoms. did women really have PMS back in the day? I'm talking medieval times here! I have this inkling that they didn't because it's such an important time for a women. It's almost like a cleanse. For years I used to get REALLY BAD PMS. I'd get anxious, agitated over nothing, bloated and my cravings would be harsh. I feel like now I know what to do for myself. Cut this and that out of my diet for the duration; take some alone time to myself; and most important, CELEBRATE BEING A WOMAN!

Upcoming New Work: October 23-25

LIMBO: What Happens Between
October 23-25
Friday and Saturday, 8pm
Sunday, 7pm

Dance Mission Theater
3316 24th Street @ Mission
SF, CA
by 24th street BART station

Part of Celebrate: Butoh Dance 50th Anniversary Festival:

Liz Saari-Filippone, Bob Webb of Bare Bones Butoh, and several special guests come together in "Limbo (What Happens Between)", a Butoh performance. Using the extremes of Butoh we delve into the areas between the beautiful and the grotesque, flesh and spirit, light and dark, yin and yang, open and closed, then and now, this life and the next, the inner heart and the outside forces that weigh on it. Where do you come from? Where are you going? Come explore with us that grey area in between...Limbo...and find out what happens.

For other festival events, visit www.BUTOHSanFrancisco.net