How do you make yourself small?

This was the first question I read from my favorite blogs and websites, The Daily Love or TDL. Wow, what a way to stir the pot! Mastin Kipp, founder/author of TDL, talks about how we make excuses for why we can’t get what we want in life. Even when we allow ourselves those moments to dream about that dream job, house, car, vacation, relationship, business, etc., we make excuses as to why it can’t or never will happen. In the past, I always had an excuse for why I couldn’t do something.

While I was in Yoga Teacher Training, we had our Teaching Methods class, which was very challenging for me. I got so nervous standing in front of my teacher and classmates teaching a pose, that I started to shake, speak too low, sweat, and forget the main actions of the pose. I had a tough teacher, who would chime in A LOT to correct us, and I know now, all she wanted was for us to be the best teachers ever.

But I took it so personally, that I created the belief that I was a failure at everything and wasn’t good enough.

I also had a need to be understood, heard and loved, but my negative self-talk (aka Mind Chatter) would make me wrong for the way I was feeling (frustration, sadness) because I had another belief/story that it’s wrong to feel frustration, anger, or sadness.

Although I got teaching opportunities after my training, this belief (which affected everything in my life) still hung over me to the extent that I almost quit teaching. However, I know these beliefs started a long time ago, and through lots of personal growth work over the years, I realized these beliefs were not me and not true.

What we say and think about ourselves matters. I learned this through Marshall Rosenberg’s amazing process of Nonviolent Communication, which teaches us to openly and honestly express our feelings and needs without judgment.

He says “Every criticism, judgment, diagnosis, and expression of anger is the tragic expression of an unmet need.”

In other words, we tend to make ourselves or others wrong for feeling angry, frustrated, or sad, when really it all stems from a need not being met and that we may not aware of.

So what beliefs do you have? What statements/excuses do you tell yourself why something is? The ones I have heard myself say and others say are: I’m too old; it’s just too hard; I’m not good enough; I don’t deserve it; they won’t like/believe me.

These are the beliefs that hold us back from getting what we want and are needs met. But what we forget is that the Universe provides everything; and when we ask for those desires through affirmation or prayer, we need to feel that light and joy of possibility when we put it out there. That we are worthy and deserving. That we are not our thoughts, stories or beliefs. We are love, light and apart of this world.

So I invite you to track these thoughts or beliefs that you tell yourself. Write them down throughout the day, and then see what feeling or emotion is attached to it.

For example, my past story was, “I’m not good enough. I feel sad and depressed because I have a need for acceptance, to be heard and understood.”

So be aware of the challenges in your life, but don’t let them stop you. We all have challenges, but we also have choices.

so i didn't do it, but i did something

yep, i didn't do those things i was going to do last night.  instead, i went to happy hour to meet a friend i hadn't seen in months! it was nice to see her and catch up, plus get out!  even though i had an intense therapy session prior and shouldn't have had 2 glasses of wine, i felt good and grounded about it.  i know what i have to do now.  during therapy, i reopened some "old files" that were still buried within me.  as i expressed them to my therapist, my body didn't feel in alignment with them.  it felt uncomfortable saying them. these old beliefs that when they come up i say, "where the hell did you come from?!!!!!"  it's definitely something i'm going to explore because they're holding me back from what i truly want.  holding me back from making things happen. manifesting. creating.  wanting.  what a load off! but, what a file to have to sift through and de-clutterize.  the inner work continues.....