my audience

wow. today is all about the venting and blabbing....

as i looked at my last newsletter, i wondered who is my audience? who do i want to send and offer my knowledge and tools? i honestly believe i still don't know, but i'm okay with that right now. however, i know one of the things to have a successful business is to know your audience/population that you're serving. so i guess i need to reevaluate. cool! i'm glad i realized this now. i'm happy for myself that i came to this conclusion. i'm not judging or beating myself up. in fact, i think i want to look back at some old notes from classes i took about this subject. review and rekindle the mind, body and soul.

i remember from my holistic coaching program, my life's purpose: i am love and acceptance. perhaps i have new one brewing: i am contribution, inspiration, and joy!

hey, now that feels good. let's do more: i am connection and integration. well, that's actually the first line of my mission statement. but that still counts because it's true!

i am compassion and abundance. that one doesn't feel as true to me, and it may be the "abundance". I associate this word with money too much, even though i know deep down that's not what its all about. but, hey, something to inquire within.

so this was a great vent because i know now i won't feel the need to rush getting my march newsletter out. this year has been a lot about self-evaluation, self-inquiry and self-care. i'm more present with myself, and i hope this will guide me in connecting and attracting MY audience.

:)

admin assistant vent

i get sick of assisting people at times. don't get me wrong. i'm very grateful that i have a steady job at this moment in time and i really like helping people.

but i really get sick of having to hold your hand through common sense shit.
when you come up to my desk and ASSUME
that i know information,
don't act all entitled and put out because i DON'T have it!
when in the grand scheme of all things,
i'm NOT THAT person
who has THAT information,
AND YOU FUCKIN' KNOW THAT!

i have a need to be valued, appreciated, and heard! i'm not JUST an admin assistant, i'm freakin' person!

have a nice day!

Safety

This past week I've realized how important it is to feel safe. When we don't feel safe in situations, what happens to you? For me, I can go into panic mode; my thoughts scatter; my body shakes; my heart races; and I sweat. I also feel it in my in my lower chakras, especially the 1st (survival) and 3rd (power and will). When our safety is threatened, we all react in different ways. It depends on our life experiences too, for instance, did something happen to us in the past that made us so scared.

I had a moment this week when these feelings of fear and unsafety came up. Although, this particular situation wasn't exactly unsafe, it triggered some old stuff. Most of the symptoms I described above occurred. I was conscious of what was going on and overall felt like I handled the situation very well. But why was I having the thoughts I was having? Thoughts such as, "I should've kept my mouth shut", "I'm going to get fired", "people are going to hate me", "I shouldn't stand up for myself because people won't like me", and so on. With the help of a professional, I went into a more deeper self-inquiry; however, I resisted! I even began to disassociate, and ignore the feelings in my body. But that didn't last.

The feelings of fear, scared and unsafe came and I let myself cry and be scared. Memories of people in the past washed over me like waves crashing on the shore. The controlling college roommate and ex-boyfriend. It's interesting that it was these two particular people because they both had some psych issues at that time. So no wonder I felt unsafe! At the time, I believed, if I spoke my mind, bad things would happen to me. That these people would hate me and tell others that I am a bad person. Of course, I know now that wasn't the case. I had friends after I finally took control of my life and removed these people from my space. But I remember feeling so scared and terrified of being myself. Expressing who I am and expressing my needs! I'm amazed at how my body handled this back then and now. This was a trauma to the body and psyche; and there were some leftovers from it the other day. It was confusing, but I knew it was something deeper than the situation at hand.

I'm glad I'm mindful and aware of my feelings. Of course, it's not always fun (LOL), it needs to be acknowledged, especially strong, intense feelings. Usually, in that situation, I would've just brushed it off and moved on, but it didn't go away. It lingered.

So, when it lingers, stop and ask yourself: Does this go deeper?

I see clients now on Saturdays!

Massage Offerings

Don't miss out on a wonderful offer! Tell your friends and family! See below for details!

Available by appointment on Saturdays from 10:00am-1:00pm. Call 415-637-5825.

I am dedicated in supporting you for what you need in your session. Any of the following modalities can be combined in a session:

Swedish- A traditional oil-based massage using connective strokes and kneading to promote muscle relaxation, circulation, and detoxification

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Call 415-637-5825 (Mon-Sat 10a-8p)

Email lizsfilippone@gmail.com

Restorative Yoga Workshop: Supporting the Immune System CANCELED

Due to low registration and unexpected changes, the Restorative Yoga Workshop scheduled for Saturday, February 26 will be canceled.

Sorry for any inconvenience.

If you preregistered with Daly City Parks and Recreation, call 650-991-8012. Thank you for your support and interest!

A slow descent and rise

I'm getting more and more clear about what's alive for me. It's funny because I could feel it calling me over the past year. Massage is one of those things, which I'm doing already as I complete my clinic hours.

But the big thing for me is my movement practice: butoh and performance. It's been calling me for awhile now and I feel I need to answer it. I already began cutting back on my yoga teaching without really knowing why. I mean, I knew why. I just had too much judgment of myself about it. The "clear" is coming through with acceptance. Acceptance of what is. Right now I like teaching two classes a week. It's just interesting that I have realized now, that I've been making this slow descent away from it.

So, now it's about rising up to meet my movement practice. To spend more time with it. To embrace it and let it embrace me. To hold what fires me up and makes me feel alive. To be present with all I am while moving. To breathe. To love.

After taking the Katsura Kan workshop, that love came back to me. That drive to create, experiment, share, and teach. I will always incorporate my love of yoga with my movement practice because I really can't not. So let that love rise and feed me with all its glory and beauty, because it's gonna be fun rise to up and meet it.

Hormones need space

They can be so brutal sometimes. I don't mean this in a bad way necessarily. I do appreciate them because they do regulate things in my body and mine are pretty healthy as far as I know. So YAY to that! But in the past week they've been bringing up stuff.

A week ago, I had a night I couldn't sleep. Then over the past weekend, I experienced some PMS symptoms that I haven't felt in a LONG time. A lot of sadness and grief came up. I've been missing my family back east and my recently passed Nana and Baba. In the past, I used to have really bad PMS, to the point where I just let it take me over. But now, since my awareness has increased, that doesn't happen so much. In fact, I allowed myself to experience it all.

On Sunday, it was all psychological. I was anxious and moody. Everything seemed to trigger me. I got support from my husband, as well as a friend. I also had some time alone, which was the best because I had a nice, healthy cry. Then I took a bath with some lavendar oil. What a concept! Take a break, give myself and those a hormones some space! Didn't women do this WAY BACK in the day? Didn't they, and everyone in the community, honor it? There's a book called "The Red Tent" that reflects this practice. I haven't read it yet, but plan to. So after taking the bath, I felt a little better.

Then Monday came it was all somatic. My body ached and I had brain fog. Again, when I got home, I took a bath with lavender and it eased the tension, so I could feel. I couldn't sleep that night either, but this time it only took an hour for me to fall asleep. As I laid in bed, I ran my energy pattern, a technique used in a lot of different energy work. I drew my attention to my right foot and started to trace a path up my leg, but it kept stopping at my pelvis. I did this 3 more times and it stopped in the same place, so I gave all my attention and breath to this area. It made sense, especially for this time of the month. Even my ovaries were active. After about 5 minutes, I started the path again and it went all the way up my body and didn't stop. I could finally go to sleep. YAY!

I really feel it's important for women to honor these times in their lives. We really don't do it enough. We tend to hold it in, and then forget to release it. I feel my hormones triggered these emotions of grief sadness for a reason. It's as if a part of my body needed to release it, and then my hormones were there as a back up. To let me know, there's some stuff that just has to go. I used to judge and criticize myself for feeling the way I feel during this time of the month, but not anymore. It's apart of a woman's life, so it's time to embrace it and not fight it.

Celebration time

I, finally, finished my physiology modality for massage. YAY! I'm so excited to be completing the hours I missed. Although, I have all my required hours in for quite sometime, it's nice to actually clear some of the energy around that.

I was talking to one of my massage classmates/friend last night about it. She feels the same way, in that she's ready to clear the energy around completing the program. Even though, we got the state-required hours, getting that certificate of completion from school feels needed too. I guess we all have different intentions around that. I say, "why not just do it!"

So YAY for checking that one off! And there will be more "YAYS" coming soon!

sleep

I couldn't sleep last night, which never happens to me. I thought maybe it was the cheeseburger I ate for dinner (red meat is a rare for me). I felt warm, but not hot. I could hear and feel gurgling in my stomach, liver/gallbladder area. My mind was going a mile-a-minute. It was just random thoughts and things that occurred that day. Nothing that I was worried about. It was more about things I was excited about. Things that I will be doing soon that feed my passions. Maybe that's why I couldn't sleep. I was too excited about stuff I was enjoying. Usually it's the opposite when you can't sleep. Right? I never have this problem, so it's all new to me. I tried my essential oils. Nothing. Meditation. Nothing. What did it? Watching The Simpsons. Love it! I went to the couch and put on the 13th season. I think I dozed 3/4 of the way through an episode. I went back to bed, and there was still gurgling going on.

I read somewhere that if you have an overactive liver, it can keep you awake at night. At least that's what Chinese Medicine says. It makes sense because liver and gallbladder-emotionally-have to do with fear, irritability, indecision, anger. So how could one sleep if they're feeling like that?

Sleep is very important to me. So when things like this occur, I pay attention. I pay attention to everything. What I ate; what I did that day; what happened that day; where I went; and what people I interacted with. I still don't really know what it was. And that's fine.

Restorative Yoga Workshop: Supporting the Immune System

Come nourish, revitalize and recharge your whole being at this wonderful workshop! This restorative yoga workshop will include a gentle yoga sequence dedicated to supporting the immune system. It's a great practice if you've been feeling tired/fatigued, sick from illness, and/or stressed.

Saturday, February 26
2:00p.m.-4:00p.m.
The Doelger Center
101 Lake Merced Boulevard, Bldg #14
Daly City, CA
www.doelgercenter.com
$57 residents $59 non-residents

Restorative Yoga offers us the opportunity to relax and de-stress from our daily lives. Come and experience a two hour retreat for yourself in this monthly, restorative yoga workshop series, which will focus on a health topic. The poses are supported with a variety of props--blankets, blocks, straps--to help bring passivity to the body, which will restore energy, calm the mind, and maintain your overall health. After the workshop, the body will feel nourished and well rested. All levels are welcome. Please bring a yoga mat and two blankets. Other props provided by teacher.

REGISTER HERE!

When things are good....

when things are good, we try and find something that's bad. why do we do this? you could drive yourself crazy asking yourself that question. i know things are good because i have all my basic needs met. then there are those old things that may be appear that trigger those old emotions. it's like the body's memory kicks when someone or something triggers those old files that are stored deep within us. lately, i just observe. i observe when things are good and when they are not so good. but are there things that are bad? aren't they just an experience that falls within our path for a reason? can we be grateful in the moment or bitter to the end? it really is hard. it really is choice. working on yourself is no picnic in the park. this is something that i've been doing for the past ten years, since i started studying yoga, massage, energywork, and the movement arts. i've gotten deeper into it and within myself. but what i find hard, along with other people, is to find the good in everything that happens. initially, we automatically go into the "bad" mode about whatever just happened, instead of taking a moment to breathe, and look at the situation from a distance.

so i try to acknowledge the good in everything and everyone, no matter how much i want to go into judgment or blame. because essentially those judgments we're putting on others are really onto yourself. blaming others is really blaming yourself. this can be hard to hear and i feel my stomach cringe just a little writing it. i know if i love and accept myself i can love and accept others. again. it's hard. it's a process. it's a journey.

i say start small. take a moment when you wake up every morning and name one thing you're grateful for. something that really is "good" in your life. then breathe deeply into it.

The Katsura Kan butoh workshop

I had an amazing experience at the Katsura Kan workshop this past weekend. Click here to read about it at my movement blog.

Another blog for another passion

I wanted to share that I've created another blog solely devoted to movement. It's called Movement Investigation. Go HERE to check it out!

Eat, Breathe, Focus

I, thoroughly, enjoyed this article by the EcoHerbalistas: Eat, Breathe, Focus.

It's a great reminder about how important it is to take care of yourself, even if you tend to have a very busy life. It could be taking a 5 minute meditation to just writing things down on paper to get it out of your head, and decrease any anxiety over it. I know I've blogged about this in the past, but this has been something that I've had to deal with (and still) in regards to my time. At the moment, I don't have kids, but that doesn't mean I don't do a lot and have a full schedule. I love all the things I do, but, in the past, I was notorious for over scheduling myself to the point of a nervous breakdown! I've really had a breakthrough with this because I'm so aware and tuned into my body, I know when I start to feel overloaded. My friend, anxiety, lets me know. I could blog about anxiety forever, but I'm not going to. I just have to say that anxiety can be your friend, as it tells you when something is wrong. It's another alarm system, which is tied to our emotions (the buzzers). So it's healthy to feel anxiety, unless you let it take you over.

Please read the article (link above) and take a look at these steps you can take to a more healthy, focused you in the midst of your busy-ness :) Namaste!

1. Find time to meditate. It may seem counterintuitive to add something more to an already full schedule, but when you start your day off with as little as ten minutes of meditation and Pranayama breathing you establish an internal sense of balance and calm. If you have a yoga practice, it’s a great way to cultivate that sense of mindfulness that you can return to anytime during the day that the going gets rough. When stressful thoughts start distracting, just return to your breath and restore your balance.

2. Feed your body, fuel your mind – starting with breakfast. Studies show that healthy breakfast of high-quality carbohydrates, lean protein, and healthy fats is essential for optimal mental clarity. In fact, researchers have found that skipping breakfast results in impaired memory and increased fatigue that lasts right up until you start noshing, so why wait?

3. Plan ahead. Keep a schedule in any format that works best for you, and pencil in all the agenda items on your weekly list, including things like grocery shopping or paying bills. While many of these tasks don’t require such careful planning, if they’re written down, they’re less on your mind when they’re on paper or a screen. You can always shift tasks around as the week unfolds, but at least you’re looking at the bigger picture before adding more to-dos into an already full schedule, which leads to my next suggestion…

4. Learn to say no. Over-scheduling is a sure way to stress, and anxiety, which completely undermines organization. Don’t commit to anything you’re not sure you can fit in. Remember, everything always takes longer than you think it will, so if you’re not sure you’ll have time for one more activity, work or play, you probably don’t.

5. Break large projects down into bite-sized tasks. Anything can become overwhelming when pondered in its entirety, but breaking it down into manageable pieces is less intimidating. Once you get started, it’s just a matter of time before you’ll work your way through to completion.

6. Reduce the distractions. Allocate time in your schedule for those activities that require focus and during that time, shut down your email, turn off your phone and remove all other distractions that will interrupt your thoughts and your progress. I know it’s challenging, but the results are worth it!

7. Monitor your multitasking. Suggesting you stop multitasking altogether is just silly. We multitask all the time and often it’s manageable and for some of us even essential. But talking on the phone while reading, writing emails or doing anything else that requires your full attention is ineffective and actually creates more anxiety than problem solving. If a task requires your attention, stay with it until you’re finished, then move on.

8. Finally, and my favorite, schedule in down time. According to Entrepreneur magazine, our body needs to intermittent breaks every 90 to 120 minutes throughout your day. The key is not how long a break you take but that you truly change your focus. So disengage from your task or project–get up from your desk and stretch, get a drink of water or take a walk around the block. Some time away to give yourself a chance to refresh will do wonders for your powers of concentration.

So now when things don’t go according to plan – quite common for many of us, I take a step back to breathe, focus on all I have to be grateful for – and simply reschedule.

The Ballet

I went to see the San Francisco Ballet perform, Giselle, last night. I hadn't been to the ballet in about 10 years! I've mostly been going to modern or contemporary performances, and some really avant garde stuff. I even did ballet for 5 years, from 5-10 years old. But then I got bored and wanted to do different dance.

HOWEVER, watching those professional ballet dancers was so exciting and mind-blowing! It's amazing the control they have in and with their bodies; to go from spinning in pirouettes 10 times--I don't know how many times-- and then stop so sharply without panting, it blows my mind. I was gasping with the rest of the audience, especially when watching the men dance. They have such different strength that they can propel themselves up into air, spinning at least four times in a row, then land ever so softly. I loved hearing the quiet, pidder-padder of the group of women dancers, shuffle across the floor, all in unison, so elegantly.

Although the story was quite sad, what a treat it was to see the ballet! I want to see more!