The New Year

The new year has me dazzled! I love the fact that I get to start fresh. I don't really plan anything on the eve of the new year, but last year my life coach had me acknowledge and write down 10 things I am grateful and/or appreciate about the past year. I made this into a regular routine, of course, but it really gave me a sense of peace with myself. I had my husband participate as well. I hope to do more workshops, whether it be yoga, movement or with my support group. I already have an opportunity coming up for February through 24 hr Fitness where I teach yoga, so it's already happening! I hope to pay off debt which is already in progress, but I hope to see a CHUNK come off of that. Also, completion with my massage program so I can begin to really transition my careers. This has me feeling both excited and nervous, but I feel it's time to take the plunge. the next step.

Let's be excited about the new year! joyful, joyous, happy, dazzled, peaceful, surprised, reflective, appreciated, appreciation, supportive....continue to add on whatever feeling comes into your body. Feel it and then express it. Be present to what's happening inside of you so you can be with others.

Happy New Year!

Return

There's a feeling of discombopulation when i return to san francisco from the east coast-home. i still consider it home because that's where i was brought up and all my family is still there. i definitely ran around, visiting people a lot. but there's always disappointment when i didn't see people i wanted to see. i mean i tried. i knew and was prepared that i only had a week to squeeze everyone in!

i know there will be another visit, but perhaps it's going to be more permanent. my husband and i have decided that we're going to move back to the east coast. we're giving ourselves another full year on the west coast to pay off some debt and go see some places we neglected to see in the past 6 years. it was really nice being home for the holidays and in general. having family and friends close whether it's a 5 minute drive or a 5 hour drive, it's pretty cool. i now have a lot of things to complete before this happens and i want them believe me. i must pace myself with that and know that i'm good and i'll do my best to complete them. i want to give myself space and time to complete these things until i return to the east coast. what a way to end the year.....

Going home....

Going home used to be a bunch of mixed feelings. Depending on the time of year, I would think about weather, how many people I could see in THE amount of time and was I going to have time to myself. sometimes these thoughts turned into worries and concerns and then eventually into anxiety attacks, but now it's more clear. a lot has happened in these past few months. joe and i had to go to the east coast twice. once unexpectedly because of a friend's passing and the other for a friend's wedding. 2 quite different extremes i must say. i look forward to seeing who i am going to see and hope to see. then a week ago finding out another person i knew passed away really gave me a shove, a push. what the fucks going? so many memories of this person began coming into my space and mind. i used to hang out with his sister all the time in elementary and middle school. then in high school, we went our different ways but still remained civil.

it's going home that reconnects me to the past while being in the present. it's very surreal and emotional just acknowledging it right now. being 3000 miles away from home is what makes it so surreal. then i go home and there's this energy in the air i don't know what to do with but just be with. as i would look on facebook of all the people who knew ivan, i would see faces of people who once knew me in the past. how disconnected i was from myself then. i would think, "did they see that?", "was i really not aware?". then again, it was high school. i wasn't a happy person inside even though i was a pro at showing it on the outside.

so i look forward to going home with so much comfort and ease now. i hope to meet up with some of these people and friends of the past. it's not to show them that i turned out fine, but to just see them again. talk to them. love them. i want to let go of all those judgments i had of myself and them. yes, i want freedom and joy! Bring it on universe!

happy holidays!

So what!

I can't stand sitting here at my desk, pondering, over and over, if I should go to class tonite. It's a 4 hour class, which is definitely a downer, but on a positive note I'll be seeing people I love and give/receive bodywork. So why do I still don't want to go? A part of me says, SO WHAT?! Don't go then. what's the big deal? you'll be able to make it up anyway. you have a whole year to make it up. why beat yourself up about it. I'm so sick of doing that. beating myself over stupid shit. i've worked so hard this past year and the year before that. my body needs a break. my mind needs a break. i can't wait to go home next week, so i know that's a reason for this feeling. this feeling of laziness, unmotivated. I'll be starting massage classes again next month/next year anyway and that motivates me because it's a brand new, fresh year! so why not save my energy for that? can someone help me justify this? or should i just say so what!? because that's how i really feel anyway. i can't wait to bring this up to my therapist. going with how i feel and what i need has been such a great break-through, great progress. the other con is that this whole week i've been feeling under the weather and that's usually a sign of i'm doing too much. man, do i have a history of doing WAY too much! i guess we'll just have to see how the day goes.....

Creation

I have learned that when I want something I need to write or talk about it. Creation and manifestation is happening all the time. I just joined this support group that was created for individuals who want to improve their wealth/abundance esteem. We all have our stories and beliefs about wealth, so our first meeting was how we define wealth and what is it to us. Lots of stuff both similar and different came out such as consistency, freedom, comfort, sharing. It wasn't necessarily about material things, but of course that does come up for people because there are "things" they would like to have in their lives. I know for me it's a sense of freedom and having that freedom to share with others. I know from the list, it's a combination of all of them.

As I was sitting at my desk about 15 minutes ago, I was thinking about my yoga teaching and where I want to go with it. There are so many avenues, it can get overwhelming sometimes. I want to create a style of yoga teaching that supports people wherever they're at. I guess that's why I call myself "MovingYogi" because we're constantly in flow and motion. I love to teach about being in the present; feeling what I and you feel right at this moment if you're in a yoga pose or not. Then again we are in some form of a pose if we stop and notice. So when someone comes up to me and asks me, "what kind of yoga you teach?", I usually go into a little rant about my training background. I know that can lose people's interest. I've been teaching for almost 5 years now, nonstop, and along the way have picked up other tools for myself and others. So how do I present that? how do I word that? I want it to feel true, honest and exciting. I want others to feel it too. So let the brainstorming and networking begin.....

Featured pose: Supported Bound Angle

One of my absolute FAVORITE restorative poses, supported bound angle or supta baddha konasana, eases many ailments. Some of them are:

-calms the nervous system
-eases pre-menstrual and menstrual cramps
-helps with digestion
-eases tension and headaches
-lowers blood pressure

This pose can be done with a bolster underneath your torso. If you don't have a bolster, roll 2-3 blankets. If your hips tend to be tight, place folded blankets under each thigh so your legs can fully relax. This pose is all about being supported! It can also be done with or without a belt, but the belt just makes it more juicier.

What are you grateful for right now?

This is definitely the time to think about that. What am I grateful for right now? It doesn't have to be a special holiday. You can do it whenever you want. Everyday. Every minute. Every second. I am grateful right now for my husband for being so loving and accepting of my being. No matter what I do or what I say, he's so open and accepting. I can't think of another gift to have. To add on to that, I'm grateful for my job, the chair I'm sitting in as I write this, my friends, family, the community of amazing beings that I surround myself with everyday of my life, the person who prepared my soy chai latte this morning, the air I breath, the body that allows me to what I'm passionate about--dancing, yoga, moving, what else? I could go on and on! So I definitely have learned and appreciated that these things we're grateful for don't have to be these huge, in-depth declarations. They can be simple and small which I feel are so huge anyway.

So what you grateful for RIGHT NOW???!!!!!

Bring Balance Home

Why do you do yoga? If you just started, or are thinking about it, what inspired you? If you don't practice yoga, what tools do you use to create a sense of balance for yourself? I loved reading this article because it's such a nice reminder for me. When I go too long without practicing, my body feels it, emotionally and physically. When I've REALLY gone too long, I feel really disconnected with myself. That's the reason I always go back to the mat. I always find something new or something I had put aside for another time. I feel we all are striving for some form of balance in our life, whether we know it or not.

After receiving some amazing energy and bodywork the other day, my theme came out to be "Integration". This means all the tools have in movement, dance, yoga, coaching and massage, and being able to mesh them together in a business. Perhaps that's why I call my biz "Moving Yogi"? There's always a constant flow of these tools and teachings within me that may surface more than the other. I've been realizing that over the past year, especially since I've added massage to box. Of course, there's a lot of mind chatter that wants to impede on this journey, this realization, which is fine and Thank you, Mind Chatter! But I know what's real, what feels good and what's right to me in my path. As for this article's theme and title, "Bring Balance Home", I literally want to bring it home to me, within me and around me. I can use yoga and meditation to access this and help others access it. I want to integrate yoga and coaching, yoga and dance, yoga and massage, massage and coaching, massage and movement, etc., etc., etc.........


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(From yogajournal.com daily insight)

There's a reason we refer to our yoga as "practice": It's an opportunity to practice whatever qualities we want to see more of in our lives. Sometimes we do yoga to cultivate patience, clarity, or bravery. Other times, our list is more tangible: We want a strong upper body, increased energy, or open hips. The reasons we practice inevitably change as we go through career moves, love affairs, pregnancies, and other life transitions.

They also change from day to day. Developing a personal yoga practice allows us to devise a specific program to give ourselves what we really need at any given time. We get on the mat whenever we can, for whatever length of time, in whatever amount of space is available to us. This practical approach is a first step toward integrating yoga into everyday life.

Today, why not try unrolling your mat and practicing a little on your own. Even if it's just for 15 minutes at a time, the work you do at home will strengthen your practice by making you a more conscious and independent yoga practitioner. Even if you prematurely give up on a pose that makes you feel uncomfortable or forget a sequence you're working on, each small home practice session will help you build up to a longer, more meaningful home practice.

IN THIS ISSUE
Why Do We Practice?

http://www.yogajournal.com/basics/1153
Bringing Your Practice Home

http://www.yogajournal.com/basics/819

Changing your relationship with food

Food became this puzzle to me a few years ago. I began to notice sensitivities to certain foods I was eating such as wheat and gluten. I was amazed how it's in everything! I grew up eating it through my childhood, teenage and young adult years. Never noticed any patterns when I got sinus infections, problems and then allergies. However, I feel I have a hold on it and know if I choose to eat something (that may or may not agree with me), at least I know why I feel the way I do. I've also thought about vegetarianism and did it for about 6 months, but I honestly don't feel my body responded to it very well. I felt lethargic a lot at one point and decided to eat a little bit of chicken. POOF! my energy was back. Of course, I choose to eat the free-range, organic, grass-fed chicken as much as I can. In other words, the happy chicken! It's hard, especially if you really feel strongly about animal rights and the treatment towards animals in factory farms. But what do you do when certain diets aren't working for YOU? I love how using the principles of yoga can support this journey if that's the path you're on. For me, it's an ongoing thing. A path that I tend to step into at certain points in my life. When I step on the mat I always ask, "how do I feel right now?", "What does my body need?". What do you ask your body?


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(From Yoga Journal Daily Insight)

As the food industry relentlessly markets every fad diet and product, Americans are forgetting how to eat healthily and happily. Yoga can help you make better choices about what you eat—and skip the guilt.

Yoga's philosophy teaches us to make meals from plant-based foods that form the foundation of the food pyramid. The physical asana practice deepens your awareness of your body, so you become more conscious of foods that bring a consistent sense of well-being—and those that make you feel bad after you eat them. Over time, practitioners often find themselves in a more comfortable and relaxed relationship with food.

While yoga and meditation can help you navigate the choppy waters of the American food industry, success won't happen overnight. But as you practice, you can build the discipline, patience, and compassion to overcome the many forces arrayed against you—no matter how formidable they seem.

IN THIS ISSUE
If I Do Yoga, Am I Vegetarian?

http://www.yogajournal.com/lifestyle/280
Fear Factor

http://www.yogajournal.com/lifestyle/2020

Featured pose: Supported Bridge Pose

This pose has many benefits and is great way to de-stress, especially with the holidays coming up. I'm going to make this a regular posting every couple weeks or so.

Benefits:
Calms nervous system
Stimulates thyroid gland
Eases cold, flu and allergy symptoms (especially cough and congestion)
Helps with depression
Eases pre-menstrual and menstrual symptoms

Footage from my solo performance

Hope you enjoy this video of my recent solo performance, "MeBardo". It was part of a larger show called Limbo: What Happens Between. It was my first solo at a huge venue and it was 20 minutes long! That's huge for me. It's also a very personal piece, depicting inner struggles and conflicts we have with the self. Resistance vs. Acceptance. Love vs. Hate. Fear vs. Desire. Seen vs. Unseen.

Enjoy!

http://vimeo.com/7364099

After the performance....

So the show I put on with my fellow co-producer/collaborator, Limbo: What Happens Between, was a success! I can't believe it's over. All that work really paid off and then when it's over, one can say, "what now?" or what I say, "Alright! Time to pamper myself!". That is what I'm doing this week. I put my body, mind and spirit through a lot this weekend and it was all very wonderful. But my body is feeling the toll and I could use some bodywork! Today, after work, I'll be getting deep tissue and then Thursday some Vibrational Healing Massage. Overall, I'm very happy with the way the show turned out. We got great feedback from people and people loved it! I'll be posting some video footage of just my piece. I have to say, my work is very personal, intense and cathartic. I had an emotional release after my performance on Saturday night. I really went deep into those dark places with my piece. That's really what butoh is about in many ways. Allowing to let yourself go into those places and let go of what you think you are or how you may look to others. Things really can manifest in this work which is why I would love to teach it. So many things I wanna do! We'll see.

I am celebration!

I have to celebrate that I completed my massage clinic hours for one of my modules! Yaayyy! It gives me a sense of accomplishment and validity, that, Wow! I can really get through this program! Yes I have had mind chatter and negative self-talk about completing the massage program I'm enrolled in, but seeing results is so invigorating to my whole being! Bodywork is connection. Connection to everything in the body, mind, spirit and soul. During my holistic health program last year, we had to write our life's purpose. My life purpose was (is) "I am love and acceptance". I want to expand on that, "I am love, acceptance and celebration". I want to put the energy out into the universe that I will receive, love and accept everything in my path, regardless of positive or negative. Wow, this feels great in my belly right now!

I've realized that you can celebrate anything--waking up in the morning, getting out of bed, eating a meal, tying your shoe, etc. It doesn't have to be this huge thing. Whatever it is to you is what matters.

What do you want to celebrate?

Rest Easy

For one who is into the "natural way", I use essential oils for something everyday. I find they really help with most ailments. If you do suffer from insomnia, try the advice from this Yoga Journal article.

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(From yogajournal.com daily insight)

Americans annually spend more than $3.5 billion on prescription sleep medications. Though pills may be tempting if you're one of the 56 percent of insomnia sufferers, Michael Breus, a clinical psychologist and the author of Beauty Sleep, says there are plenty of natural methods to try first:

Essential oils of lavender, chamomile, ylang-ylang, and vanilla help the brain regulate the stress hormone cortisol. In a spray bottle, mix a few drops of essential oil with filtered water. Spray on your pillowcase.

Spend 10 minutes before bedtime massaging pressure points on the inside and outside of your heels. They can "take your consciousness into your body to relax," says yoga therapist Jnani Chapman.

IN THIS ISSUE
Rest Easy

http://www.yogajournal.com/health/2559
Good Scents

http://www.yogajournal.com/health/1100

Connecting with myself

Wow, it's been a crazy month! Lots of stuff, growth and projects. Over the past month, I've realized how important it is to really take care of yourself physically, emotionally and spiritually. A month ago, my friend from college passed away suddenly. It was a very surreal experience for me, my husband and the friends I reconnected with at the funeral. Even though it was a sad time, it was also celebration time. Celebration of life! This friend really moved a lot of people in different ways.

Before this happened, I had decided to cut back on my massage school classes to give myself some space and a break. I decided it was time to really connect with my emotions and my needs. As I've been doing this over the past month, shifts and changes have occurred and I don't feel the resistance. I moved through whatever it was that came up and to just, be with myself; give compassion to myself; give myself time to process and rest. Of course, we all get into bad moods and I sure let myself be in one about a week ago. But it's good to acknowledge that it's happening and choose what to do next. I chose ease and joy. So I dug into my toolbox and did some breathing, yoga, talked to people or had some alone time. These were things that I would never do for myself in the past. I used to feel I always had to keep pushing and pushing through. It's okay to do that to a point, but I needed to check in with myself on those occasions when frustration or anger would occur. I would say to myself, "Hey Liz, what's going?", "How do you feel?", "What do you need?". Sometimes I wouldn't know the answers right away, but that's okay. Perhaps, it was about accepting what is and not getting myself tangled up with it, which would create more tension.

We did an exercise in class last night and it was to answer the question, "Who loves me?". one of the people I wrote was ME! I appreciate myself for connecting, being, accepting, feeling, needing, caring, and loving myself. In the past I never had a lot of self-confidence and now I can say, and believe, that I do! What a ride!

Moving on, moving through with yoga

So my body is in transition from the birth control pill. Since my last post, I've been having episodes of strong emotions and moments of mood changes. I'm glad that I know things still work down there, especially for the day when I actually want to conceive a baby! Over the weekend I definitely had some ups and downs with the mood, but I was so amazed and happy for myself that I stayed present. I didn't let the "symptoms" take over. I acknowledged them and gave myself compassion about it. I mean, if this is what my body needs to do in order to find balance again, then let's go with it! I'm sick of resisting. Just let it flow, literally! I'm glad I had performances this weekend because the movement and expression helped move that energy along. It brought me back into my body, to the temple. Sunday afternoon was when I really let it move. After I finished some laundry, I decided to do some yoga for the menstrual cycle, even though my body was experiencing something else. I just felt out of balance. I needed to bring myself back into balance. I did a wonderful hour of restorative yoga, geared toward the process my body was going through. I welcomed the sensations with ease, taking deep breaths and had the aid of some essential oils. Aromatherapy and yoga, what a concept! I'm doing this all the time now. I already noticed a difference in my overall self after the first pose. Yoga really supports the whole body's system. As I moved from one pose to the next, I could feel my mood shift and my body relax. I felt like I was coming back into me. One can get so lost when there's so much going on around them and with them. I'm keeping an eye on how things progress and will call my GYN if need be. But the more I relax and let go around it, the more progress I see happen faster and better! This has inspired me to teach this yoga to women. A yoga class/workshop geared toward women's health around the menstrual cycle. I know this involves more training but maybe starting off simple would be a great start.

Hormones

I'm taking a break from the birth control pill this month and it's been a long time since I've felt hormones! It's amazing what women's bodies do every month. WAY back in the day, when a woman was on her cycle, it was a sacred time for women. They would be pampered, respected and powerful. Same goes with birth. But this menstrual cycle is very intriguing. I guess I've never really thought about it in this way before. In the past, I used to just look at it as a pain in the ass; if i didn't get it during the usual time frame, OH SHIT!; I felt insane, emotional, gross and drained. Through my holistic health training, I've learned from other women how they embrace their menstrual cycle before, during and after. Why not work with my body, than against it? Why not love and support myself during this time, instead of being repulsed or agitated? Why not just be with it?
From seeing doctors and acupuncturists about PMS, I've learned over the years how my body reacts to diet during this sacred time. How caffeine, alcohol, and sugar can just exacerbate the symptoms. did women really have PMS back in the day? I'm talking medieval times here! I have this inkling that they didn't because it's such an important time for a women. It's almost like a cleanse. For years I used to get REALLY BAD PMS. I'd get anxious, agitated over nothing, bloated and my cravings would be harsh. I feel like now I know what to do for myself. Cut this and that out of my diet for the duration; take some alone time to myself; and most important, CELEBRATE BEING A WOMAN!

Upcoming New Work: October 23-25

LIMBO: What Happens Between
October 23-25
Friday and Saturday, 8pm
Sunday, 7pm

Dance Mission Theater
3316 24th Street @ Mission
SF, CA
by 24th street BART station

Part of Celebrate: Butoh Dance 50th Anniversary Festival:

Liz Saari-Filippone, Bob Webb of Bare Bones Butoh, and several special guests come together in "Limbo (What Happens Between)", a Butoh performance. Using the extremes of Butoh we delve into the areas between the beautiful and the grotesque, flesh and spirit, light and dark, yin and yang, open and closed, then and now, this life and the next, the inner heart and the outside forces that weigh on it. Where do you come from? Where are you going? Come explore with us that grey area in between...Limbo...and find out what happens.

For other festival events, visit www.BUTOHSanFrancisco.net

I'm peforming this weekend 9/25 and 9/26

BARE BONES BUTOH PRESENTS 15
A Benefit for Bare Bones Butoh Itself! Sometimes you have to feed the kitty to keep the purr going.

WHEN:
Friday Sept 25, and Saturday Sept 26, 2009
Both performances are at 8:00 pm
Please arrive early as we will be starting as close to on time as possible.

WHERE:
Studio 210,
3435 Cesar Chavez St
San Francisco, CA 94110
Studio 210 is located within the Old Sears Building - 3435 Army is writ large over the top floor of the building (yes, there's a story behind that), the building is inset from the corner of Cesar Chavez and Valencia Street. There is plenty of on the street parking. It's four blocks from the 24th St BART Station. MUNI Buses #27, #26, #14, or #49 will drop you off one block or less from our door.

TICKETS:
$5-$20 sliding scale, No one turned away for lack of funds.
Additional donations are always graciously accepted and gratefully appreciated.

WHO:
Both nights: Darya Chernova, Michael Curran, Qayyuma Didominico, Angelina La Miette, Mara Poliak, Liz Saari-Filippone, Bob Webb, and Isabell Zeviar.
Friday only - Addy Bigelowe, Ahron Wheels Bolsta, Christina Braun, Deia de Brito, Mark Deutsch, Martha Matsuda, Ri Molnar, and Constance Taylor
Saturday only - Laurie Buenafe Krsmanovic, Iu-Hui Chua, Joy Cosculluela, Jennifer Gwirtz, Kazoo, Karen Anne Light, William McIntyre, Christian Nagler, Bill Noertker, Terre Unite Parker, David Ryther, Rajendra Serber, Aaron Wacks, Abigail Wick, and Sergey Yashenko.
Quite a stellar line-up!! Lots of bang for your buck!
Plus, there are often last minute additions to the programming - local/national/international - it's that kind of show.

WHAT:
Bare Bones Butoh Presents is a performance showcase for local and International artists working in the areas of butoh, performance art, and/or ritual performance. It exists for artists to try out new material, show works in process, hone improvisation chops and redo or revisit previous material.
Hosted by a veteran group of Bay Area Butoh performers, Bare Bones Butoh Presents employs the grassroots ethic of working together to sustain an artistic culture.

Thus far in its over three year (!) history, every Bare Bones Butoh Presents show has been a Benefit Performance. BBBP serves not only as a performance outlet, but also as a fundraising platform which supports local Butoh and Performance Artists in need. Our 15th presentation is no exception. All proceeds from these performances go towards the organization itself, in order to help these shows to continue. Please feel free to donate freely.

Bare Bones Butoh Presents is community building and performance all smushed together into two evenings.

We hope to see you there.

For more info on Bare Bones Butoh Presents:
Bob Webb
bobwebb20@hotmail.com

Transform Unhealthy Desires

I feel like I do this all the time or not enough of the time! Ha! that's how it goes sometimes. But I know I'm much more present with my emotions, needs and desires than I have ever been. For instance, right now, I know I have a touch of candida (yeast build-up in the digestive system). I know I over-indulged this past week and weekend in comfort foods, sweets and processed foods. I'm pretty good about staying clear of it, but there was a lot going on last week, so I resorted to grabbing this and that to-go which consisted of muffins, bagels, crackers and other high carby, sugary foods. I love it and you know, we all love it! But I do question myself as to how is this benefiting me? or others? Even with other aspects of our lives, acknowledging our desires and impulses. What is it that I really want here? Especially when I feel irritated or frustrated. This article will be a great theme for my next newsletter because it's been such a huge theme in my life. Why do I have a sense of urgency when doing things? What's the rush?

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(From yogajournal.com daily insight)

Every once in a while we all are faced with nagging temptations that take over our thoughts and plague us with an uncontrollable urge to do something we know isn't healthy for us. When those times come—whether it's an impulse to eat an entire bag of potato chips or a desire to say something nasty to a coworker—yogic philosophy tells us to acknowledge our desires, focusing on the emotions that fuel them.

Once you've identified your emotions and how they make you feel, ask yourself what it means in the context of your life. Examine how following the desire will affect you and those around you. Ask yourself: Is the desire beneficial to other people as well as to myself? Could it be hurtful? What will I have to give up to follow this desire? Does it take me closer to my higher Self, or will it create more barriers between my soul and myself? What will I have to give up if I don't follow it? What do I really want by getting what I want? When you've discovered what you really want, voice it, make it an intention, and strive for it in your everyday.

IN THIS ISSUE
I Want It So Bad

http://www.yogajournal.com/wisdom/1839
Gotta Have It?

http://www.yogajournal.com/wisdom/1838

Preview New Work!

Butoh Caberet
Fundraiser for Subterranean Arthouse
Sunday, September 6, 2009 @4pm

Come, celebrate and support BUTOH San Francisco and Subterranean Arthouse for this kick-off event of the festival. It is also a fundraiser for the Subterranean Arthouse to install marley floors and a lighting system.

@The Subterranean Arthouse
2179 Bancroft Way
Berkeley, CA
Between Shattuck and Fulton
BART Accessible!

www.subterraneanarthouse.org
www.BUTOHsanfrancisco.net

Save your Energy

This past week, my energy has felt pretty drained. But I feel today I'm slowly getting it back. I have so much going on right now, my body is telling me to stop. I love massage school, but working full time and choreographing a new dance piece is leaving me with no time to myself or with my hubby and loved ones in my life. I know we have to make sacrifices, in order to have what we want, but if you're getting physically ill or breaking down emotionally, there's gotta be a point to STOP! Let's be with what's happening. I had a "Ah Ha" moment yesterday with a coworker as I was talking about it. In the past, I've been hard on myself when I wasn't able to complete something. I would push myself that at times I would get sick or resentful of what I was doing. There were so many times when I just wanted to quick doing yoga, but another part of me was saying that it's okay to feel that way. Why don't I just take a break? I'm learning my limits and boundaries this week. In other words, it's important to take care of ourselves and if we need to slow down it's okay. It's accepting how far one can go and just being with that. It's also okay to ask for support from others. You don't have to do it all on your own. I do this in my yoga practice and when I teach others in poses. Hey, why don't I just practice it into my daily life!?! Duh! LOL.

I'm glad I can laugh about it now because in the past, I would just dwell in it. I have acknowledged what I'm grateful for and that's what matters:
I'm grateful for my health, my job, my career path, my husband, friends, family, my life experiences, this computer I'm using to type this, the food I ate for breakfast, the sun, and all earthly creations!
Just doing that brought my energy up. I want to bask in joy!

Healing through Performance Work

I had a wonderful rehearsal yesterday! I felt so productive and organized. Not so easy to do when you're working on a solo. I feel like I have a title developing as well, "Bardos" or "The Bardos of the Self". In a way I don't want the title to be too long but say a lot. The whole concept and title of the show is "Limbo: What happens between" which says a lot. My interpretation, especially for my piece, is that we've all been in a "limbo" in our lives--struggle, conflict, depression, joy, happiness, fear, purgatory--whether good or bad. We've felt it and experienced it. I know for the past 2 or 3 years I've been having many limbos! Now that I'm so conscious and aware of them, I'm going back to those places and playing! It's been difficult and refreshing at the same time. There's no black and white all the time. There is gray, and it's up to us to acknowledge that and just accept it.

I'm videotaping my run-throughs too that way I have sections to work with. I worked on the beginning yesterday which is very soft. It's as if my body was bouncing through nothing with no resistance and full control. Then as the 2nd track started, I started to react in different ways to the space and environment. As if the environment was like a random weather pattern-a little breezy to windy to choppy high winds. Then I would crouch down for cover and slowly walk through it all as if I was being watched. but by who? Then there is everything and everyone before me. I look down to see a mirror (face down) on the ground. I slowly pick it up with curiosity. As I turn it to my reflection, I'm horrified, and filled with fear. Is that really me? Is that the truth? What is that? Who is that? What is that person doing with their life? Those questions we ask ourselves when we're stuck in a rut. They can be so painful and intense sometimes. In my experience, they were very painful and self-judgmental. My body relives it in this piece. It's very emotional but so healing.

Connect through Community

What a concept! I wish I had more time on my hands to create a spiritual community, but I know in a way I already have. I know I have connections with like-minded beings and it's very strong. I would love to create a way to bring them all together and share about life. I know why I'm so busy these days, but is everyone conscious of it? I didn't use to be and then it was a slap in the face when I figured out why. I realized I needed people as much as they needed me. We all need each other! We need the support, love, friendship, companionship, relationship, connection, community, gatherings! I feel like a lot of us "break down" because we don't get enough of it.

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(From yogajournal.com daily insight)

As social creatures, humans benefit from turning our sociability to higher ends. The Buddha, after all, did make the sangha, the spiritual community, one of the three cornerstones of his path; and Christ told his disciples, "When two or more are gathered in my name, there am I in the midst of them." As these words imply, a group practicing together creates a mystical field, a field of grace. The Sanskrit name for that phenomenon is satsang, usually translated as "truth-company," or being in the company of the wise. And satsang, according to several texts of yoga, is one of the great doorways to inner freedom. As is the case with meditation and asana, the more you practice satsang, the more likely you are to experience its power—and you don't have to join an existing community in order to do this. Some of the most powerful satsangs are the ones we create informally.

An informal satsang group should be small—five to seven is a good number, and you can easily form one with three, two, or even just one other person. All it takes is (1) a decision to have a spiritual dialogue; (2) some sublime and true words to spark your insight; and (3) a shared agreement on the ground rules.

IN THIS ISSUE
Come Together

http://www.yogajournal.com/wisdom/2302
Community Support

http://www.yogajournal.com/lifestyle/1020

Be Kind, Don't Rewind

I'm very inspired by this article. It's rekindled my interest in yogic philosophy. From all the work I've done on myself over the years, I feel I can finally understand and resonate completely with this body of knowledge. We all have these mental and emotional patterns called samskaras (yogic text) which is another way of saying that negative self-talk or mind chatter. It's those same things that you tell yourself over and over again--self-judgements, judgements of others, low self-esteem, etc. But we're not always aware of what it REALLY does to our whole being. How it stops us from really doing what we want. The way the fear can take over our whole body. For instance, in yoga postures, going upside down into an inversion such as handstand or shoulderstand. Just the thought of it can stir up a lot of fear and self-judgement like, "I can't do that!" "I'm this....I'm that" and so on. These places can be very uncomfortable, so it's easier to just be in the more familiar, comfortable place such as, "I just won't do that" or "maybe I'll try that later" place.

In my experience, when I started taking yoga classes regularly, I avoided going up into handstand against the wall in class. I would see all the other students of all ages and sizes go up all the way; half way or at least attempt to kick up their leg. I would just sit there with a pit in my stomach and my mind chatter telling me, "You're not strong enough", "You're gonna fall over and embarrass yourself", "you're not graceful enough", "you can't do it", "it's just too hard" and so on and so on. I believed it! However, I always showed up to class and practiced on my own with another voice telling me, "I want to do it", "it looks like fun", "I know I can if I just try". Of course, what I know now, I didn't know then, happened. My teacher started teaching us variations of handstand such as walking our feet up the wall, just so we could experience being upside down but have the support and safety of the wall. This is what woke up my body and the self-confidence that was lingering somewhere inside me. Before I knew it, I kicked one leg up the wall and came down with so much adrenaline and energy I was shaking all over. After that obstacle, I couldn't stop! I started kicking up and staying for at least 10 seconds and finally working my way up to a minute!

So what I've learned from this experience and others where fear and doubt stop me in my tracks, is that we all feel these feelings and it's okay to feel them. Just feel them. Acknowledge them. Be with them. Then, set an intention for what you want to create out of the situation, whether it be ease, fun, peace, connection to your body and breath. These samskaras can hold us back from moving forward in our lives. They can keep us from feeling joy everyday in what we do. But we can learn from them, once we bring awareness, compassion and acceptance into ourselves the possibilities become endless.

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(From yogajournal.com daily insight)
According to yogic philosophy, we're born with a karmic inheritance of mental and emotional patterns—known as samskaras—through which we cycle over and over again during our lives.

The word samskara comes from the Sanskrit sam ("complete," or "joined together") and kara ("action," "cause," or "doing"). In addition to being generalized patterns, samskaras are individual impressions, ideas, or actions; taken together, our samskaras make up our conditioning. Repeating samskaras reinforces them, creating a groove that is difficult to resist. Samskaras can be positive—imagine the selfless acts of Mother Theresa. They can also be negative, as in the self-lacerating mental patterns that underlie low self-esteem and self-destructive relationships. The negative samskaras are what hinder our positive evolution.

But with mindfulness, right intention, and a lot of patience, you can turn your negative patterns into positives. The first step is to become aware of when you're falling into your habits.

IN THIS ISSUE
Stuck in a Rut?

http://www.yogajournal.com/lifestyle/1318

Developing Performance Work

I have a performance in October and I'm feeling overwhelmed with all the material I have. It's like I have too much! This can be both good and bad, but the last time I was rehearsing it was hard for me go with something. I kept stopping and starting over. Using past material or tweeking it. This is a solo piece which, for me, can be difficult. I'm going to ask others for feedback once I get something going. It's funny because I've done 10-15 minute solo before and now I'm having trouble with this one. Maybe it's because it's going to be in a more formal setting (theater, lights, sounds,etc.) or maybe it wasn't my day that last time I rehearsed or maybe it's because it's going to be a whopping 20 minutes! I know we have our days, even when working with groups of people which I'm used to doing most of the time. The one solution that keeps coming to me is writing. I need to do more writing. Yes, I'm busy with school and work but I know I can set aside time to really do some writing about my work. I also videotaped 2 of my rehearsals which will give me plenty of ideas! I guess I needed to just "write" this out first to get clear. I feel I need to go with my intuition with things but it's funny how it can also stop you.

Get Creative

This is something I want to try. I always observe what goes on when I lie still in savasana: sounds, sensations in the body, chatter of the mind. I think this is something we can all try and practice.

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We can approach the making of our postures as a creative act, bringing them to life with our breath and our intent, just as a musician brings music to life. A musician sits in a silence that holds only the intent to play before she brings the music up out of that silence with her muscles and breath. The sounds of the music unfold through time until at some point the musician lets the silence return. Only now the silence is different, deeper. It holds more.

We start our poses from a place of stillness. Our postures unfold through time as movements of flesh, bone, and awareness as we move through many different patterns of being, experiencing different aspects of who we can be, like the different sounds of some internal orchestra. And as in life and music, there is an end to the process of a posture practice. Traditionally it is the pose of stillness and silence: Corpse Pose.

In Savasana, we allow the sounds of our postures to fade away. We temporarily give up our power to create and set our instrument upon the ground. In the end all that remains is a great flying stillness. An abiding glory nestled inside the sweet sound of our breathing.

IN THIS ISSUE
Sound and Silence

http://www.yogajournal.com/practice/501

Family Meditation

Wow, what a concept! If only I had this growing up. I hope to share this practice with my children one day :-)

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(From yogajournal.com daily insight)

Introducing children to yoga, meditation, and spirituality is one of the greatest gifts we can give them. It can set their future on a nourishing and creative course. But how do you present this knowledge so that children of different ages will receive the most benefit from it?

When we teach meditation to children, we need to choose age-appropriate techniques that foster their total growth and development. Meditations for children cannot be the same as those taught to middle-aged business people or spiritual aspirants seeking higher knowledge. Rather, in this context, meditation is a process that supports the growth of the body-mind of the child, fosters the development of each child's own unique personality, and supports creativity and expression.

Meditation techniques for children can help them relax and focus better during school, so that they can concentrate and memorize more effectively. From the spiritual perspective, good meditation techniques teach children self-awareness, encourage them to be themselves, and help them face life with greater belief in their potential.

IN THIS ISSUE
Teaching Meditation to Children

http://www.yogajournal.com/for_teachers/1856
Meditation 101

http://www.yogajournal.com/practice/1307

The Universe takes care of me and us!

I wanted to share something that's been manifesting for me. In the past, I have been one to cram my schedule and not leave time for myself and for loved ones. For the past couple months, I have been thinning out my schedule; learning put myself first; and to say "no" to things. Lately, for the past few weeks, I will get cancellations from certain obligations which ends up leaving a nice free spot in my day. I've been using that time for myself to just lounge, do something fun, relax or spend time with my hubby. I'm totally allowing myself to be with the free time, instead of packing in something else which is usually my first instinct. But instead, I take a breath and just be with it. I feel a sense of ease and space open up inside of me. I just want to acknowledge this FULLY because it's something that I was never really conscious of before.

I feel the universe is there to take care of all of us. It's just a matter of how much you ALLOW yourself to do so.

Dedication or Admiration?

I definitely relate to this. I remember in the past when I would skip yoga class if I knew my teacher was going to be away. However, I would just practice on my own, even though it wasn't the same. I used to visualize my teacher's voice for inspiration. It worked sometimes. Then if I showed up to yoga class and there was a sub, I would feel a little disappointed but do my best to enjoy and be in the full experience. I like this article that yoga journal sent me. I hope you do too!
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(from yogajournal.com daily insight)
I visited a teacher-friend's yoga class recently to find it packed solid. Later that day, she told me her crew of regular students were unshakable in their enthusiasm for yoga class. With one exception: When she announced a sub would be teaching for her, her loyal students were nowhere to be found.

Could it be that her robust army of dedicated students are attached to their teacher, rather than dedicated to their practice? It's only human to have preferences, but when does your attachment to the teacher hinder your progress?

This week, assess your dedication to your practice. If you removed your favorite teachers from the equation, would you find the inner fire to continue practicing? Read how one yogini's traumatic experience of losing her teacher helped her find her practice. Finally, get all of the tools you need to become self-reliant and establish a strong home routine.

Om Shanti,
Andrea Kowalski

IN THIS ISSUE
Your Favorite Teachers

Hundreds of readers wrote in to share comments about their favorite teachers.

http://www.yogajournal.com/practice/2666?comments=1
Yoga Diary: On Her Own

A yogini loses a teacher and gains a practice.

http://www.yogajournal.com/lifestyle/2651
Home Stretch

Roll out your yoga mat at home and you'll find the freedom to experiment, to evolve, and to become your own best teacher.

http://www.yogajournal.com/practice/2591

Being gentle with yourself

Have you ever really been gentle with yourself about anything in your life? I know I haven't, but it's definitely getting started. We all have different personalities, goals and ambitions in life which is great. That's what makes us who we are. But what I've realized in my own life is how "non-gentle" I have been towards myself. For instance, being hard on myself about everything I do, from the tasks I do at my job to cleaning the toilet!

After finishing Vibrational Healing Massage Therapy Level 2 this past month, I have gotten used to being gentle with myself. When emotional things come up and/or I get triggered by something someone said or did, I stop and give myself space by breathing and being with the emotions. I don't judge it or criticize myself for feeling this way or that. It's just the way it is.

So when we got let out early on Sunday, I decided I was going to do whatever made me happy. I spent time with my husband, went and got ice cream from Ben & Jerry's and lounged on the couch watching movies. I knew I had other things I "should" be doing, but I was like, "Fuck it!" I need this time to process, relax and reboot myself after such a busy, emotional weekend. I woke up on Monday feeling great! I never feel energized on Mondays and this was the first time in a LONG time I did. I have to thank myself RIGHT NOW that I took the time to be gentle with myself with everything I'm doing. Hell! I work full time, go to massage school and teach a private yoga session once a week. There must be time for me!

It's good to stop and ask yourself what you want and what you need. are you always constantly going to one thing and then the next? or are you stopping in between to breath and be still? do you self-acknowledge yourself for your accomplishments? And they can be the littlest of things which, to me, are really big. For instance, wow! I want to acknowledge myself for allowing myself to sleep in an extra 30 minutes this morning. What do you want to acknowledge yourself for today?

Nothing Beats Natural

Even though you can spend a "pretty penny" on natural skin care products, you will doing your body and the environment a whole lotta good! It took me time to start using natural and organic skin care products. I didn't do it overnight. A lot of time went into this. When I took a holistic nutrition and fitness class, that's what pretty much turned me around. Before this class, I had already started doing my own little research and transition into natural skin care products. This article gives great insight on how to get started. But remember, don't think you have to do it all at once! Take your time and have fun with it!

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(From yogajournal.com daily insight)


Nothing beats the skin-nurturing effect of an herb-rich facial moisturizer or a natural, botanical-brand cleanser. Over the years, however, misunderstandings have cropped up regarding how to define a "natural" skin-care product. Although there's no standard definition for "natural" skin care, a good rule of thumb is to look for products with familiar names, such as chamomile, lavender, rose, and aloe vera, at the top of the ingredient list. (Ingredients are listed on the label in descending order, starting with the largest quantity. Those that, individually, make up less than 1 percent of the product may be displayed toward the bottom of the list in any order.)

IN THIS ISSUE
How "Natural" Is Your Natural Skin-Care Product?

http://www.yogajournal.com/lifestyle/102
Sea Kelp for Silky Skin

http://www.yogajournal.com/lifestyle/106

Practice with Purpose

Something I always try to do in my practice. There are times when I have a purpose before, and then sometimes I create it during the practice. Yoga definitely helps us go inward and investigate. What are my needs right now? What do I want? I always start with a meditation before my practice and I ask myself these questions. If I don't have an answer right away, it always comes through. Let your body tell you.

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(From yogajournal.com/daily insight)

Almost everyone who does yoga will tell you that their "energy" feels different after they've practiced. This is no doubt one of the main reasons why we practice: to change our experience of how energy moves in the body. We want more energy; smoother, more even energy; or energy that is quieter and less agitated.

One way to think of organizing a home practice has to do with consciously manipulating two of the main energies in the body, prana and apana. In the ancient teachings of India, prana is believed to exist above the diaphragm and to have a tendency to move upward; it is "masculine energy" and controls the heart and the respiration. Apana, it is said, exists below the diaphragm and has a tendency to move downward; it is "feminine energy" and controls the organs of the abdomen, pelvis, and legs.

Before starting your practice on any given day, first ascertain which energy you want to increase and then practice the appropriate poses to accomplish your goal. For example, inversions increase apana; standing poses stimulate prana. Forward bends quiet both apana and prana, as do supine poses. If you are feeling scattered and fatigued, you may want your practice to increase apana; if you are dull and unenthusiastic, you may want to increase prana.

IN THIS ISSUE
Bringing Your Practice Home

http://www.yogajournal.com/basics/819
Standing Poses

http://www.yogajournal.com/poses/finder/browse_categories/standing
Forward Bends

http://www.yogajournal.com/poses/finder/browse_categories/forward_bends

All You Need is Yoga

For me, not necessarily. I know for myself I love a dance class or combo aerobic/dance class to get the blood and oxygen flowing. I guess the "yang" side (active side) of me needs it. Also, to each his own. I feel everyone needs something different but including yoga in your routine is a wonderful thing. What I love about it is you can attend to your own body's needs. For instance, if you're feeling fatigued or run-down, do some restorative, relaxation yoga. If you have a lot of energy or stress, do a few rounds of sun salutations and/or standing poses to ground and center yourself. There is also meditation. Being able to sit with yourself for a few minutes or longer helps slow down the breath, blood pressure and nervous system. There's opportunity to tune into your emotions as well. The benefits of yoga are immense!

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(From yogajournal.com daily insight)


Yoga might be good for flexibility or relaxation, but to be truly fit, do you have to combine it with an activity like running or weight lifting?

Yoga may improve strength, aerobic capacity, and lung function. If you practice yoga, you already knew that. But if you've been told by friends, family, doctors, or even other yoga students that you need to add some power walking for your heart or strength training for your muscles, there's growing evidence that yoga is all you need for a fit mind and body.

Yoga tunes you into your body and helps you to better coordinate your actions. When you bring your breath, your awareness, and your physical body into harmony, you allow your body to work at its maximum fitness capacity. Yoga class is merely a laboratory for how to be in harmony with the body in every activity outside of yoga. The improved physical wellness and fluidity that yoga brings can enhance more than just our physical well-being, as it permeates all levels of our being.

IN THIS ISSUE
Is Yoga Enough to Keep You Fit?

http://www.yogajournal.com/practice/739
Yoga for Runners

http://www.yogajournal.com/lifestyle/192

When fear sets in

I know purging the past either from your body, closet, basement, attic, etc is a good thing, but what happens when the fear sets in? I want to purge and process what's been coming up for me (from last post) but then I get that sensation in my stomach of butterflies and nerves. My body and self is definitely yearning for freedom and peace from all of this. It's very strong and I know I can do it. It's like I have to tell that voice of fear to "SHUT UP!" just so I can move on. Maybe it's because I had coffee this morning. I only did it because I need to get "things moving" in the ol' colon if you know what I mean. Then that tells me that something is either stuck or not ready to merge. Anyway, needed to get that off of my chest.

Purging the past

Over the weekend, I learned how much of the past I have been holding in my body. I really appreciate my massage classes and the school, because I feel it's a very safe place for releasing emotions or other physical pain the body may be experiencing. The areas we worked on was the ribs and spine. I have NEVER had my ribs worked on before in any bodywork or massage I received in the past. I know I hold some anger in my spine and right side of my ribs. But the left ribs hold a lot of hurt and sadness. No images popped up. Just feelings. However, these feelings were definitely old, probably from childhood, teenage years and twenties. I had emotional releases both days with lots of crying. Of course, afterward I felt amazing! Lots of spaces opened up. It's amazing how much we can hold in a certain area of our bodies.

If you think of the ribs, they're a protective cage. They protect our vital organs--stomach, spleen, liver, pancreas, gallbladder. In my experience, why wouldn't some traumas, both physical and emotional, want to go there? It's the perfect place! I haven't had any issues with my spleen (at least that I know of), so I wasn't aware of all this holding. It's like a box with old memories, situations, feelings, reactions, and people in my life that I put into it and tucked it away behind my left side of ribs. It helps me to think in metaphors with this stuff to help me understand and when I share it with others. I know I've only tapped into it, but my willingness to really have a "purge", on a scale of 1-10 is at a 10.

Today I feel melancholy and a little distant. I don't want to be at work, but it's something I gotta do. I feel like I lost weight from the weekend which I probably did. Those protective layers or boxes have been shed and emptied. I feel scared about going deeper because of the images or memories that may pop up, but yet, I'm curious and want to know. I need to do this. It's okay.

Stay-cation appreciation

Another alternative to vacation: stay-cation. I just learned this term yesterday. Sometimes just staying home for a week can be just as relaxing and replenishing as going away somewhere. I have found that, for me, it's truly a vacation. Last week, my mother came to visit. Since she's been to San Francisco before, we didn't have to do all those touristy things that you would normally do when visiting a new city. We would wake up whenever; have coffee, tea and breakfast; and then either go shopping, walking, visiting her brother in hayward, museum, or just lounge around. I'm very close with my mother these days than I have ever been in my life. I appreciate everything she has done right down to giving birth to me. I feel all the work I have done (and still doing) on myself has really made a difference in the people in my life, even those who would push my buttons or drive me crazy! This stay-cation really allowed me to appreciate everyone and everything around me--my apartment, the materials in my apartment, my job, my health, my husband, my family, my cats, the sunshine and sky!

So I decided to start a meditation practice for myself. Since I'm really busy at this time in my life, I decided to meditate for up to 10 minutes when I can. Focusing on what I'm grateful for and what I want to create for myself--career, life, with my husband, etc. This is something that my therapist recommended to me and I have found such wonderful value with it. I have experienced the joy and grateful-ness through my whole body and being and I want others to experience it too. Down the road, I want to build up my practice to a daily exercise. That's my goal and declaration.

Nothing to Envy

Something that I catch myself doing these days. I've always had that mind chatter, "You're not good enough" or "You don't deserve it". It's bullshit! I remember in the past envying what others in my life would have and it would get me down for good couple of hours (or days!). It's amazing what awarenesses come into view about yourself you thought didn't exist. Instead, I try to be grateful for what I have and be joyful for those who have what they have. The more I do this, the more I feel joy in my life.
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(From yogajournal.com daily insight)

Because we want to keep it hidden, envy can be particularly difficult to deal with. How many of us are willing to cop to the heart-twisting feeling that pops up when a friend calls to tell you she's just received a fellowship, or the sense of injustice that clouds your first glimpse of your wealthy friend's fabulous new apartment?

Envy so often looks like something else—resentment, perhaps, or a sense of dissatisfaction with your own life, your own income, your own family. For many people, envy simply merges with an overall feeling of not being quite good enough. Because envy is rooted in the feeling of lack or deficiency, the assumption that there's not enough to go around, its best antidotes will be practices that activate your own feelings of natural abundance.

Forget about the person you envy. Forget about what she has that you wish were yours. Look instead at the energy that feeling is made of, and you'll notice that nothing in the feeling has any real solidity. Perhaps, at that moment, you might open to the insight that the energy forming and dissolving within your mind and heart is not really separate from the energy around you. Perhaps, at that moment, you might realize that the person you envy is not really someone separate from you; that you lack nothing because you are, at your deepest core, part of a vast field of energy that contains potentially everything you could ever want or need.

IN THIS ISSUE
Nothing to Envy

http://www.yogajournal.com/wisdom/2545
The Wellspring of Joy

http://www.yogajournal.com/wisdom/1157
Think Pieces

http://www.yogajournal.com/practice/1106

Notice Your Obstacles, Then Conquer Them

I love how yoga relates to life. In this article, I'm amazed how going upside down is so hard for people when we used to do it as little kids. I remember my first experience. I was learning handstand and just couldn't do it. I felt like I was going to go through the wall or something. Even though I knew the wall was there to support me I didn't trust it or myself. I would see others go up with no problem and it both made me envious and hopeful at the same time. Now I do it like it's nothing but I'm aware on those days when I don't feel stable or confident. I inquiry within myself to see what's going on in my life. are there changes coming up? am I looking through a tunnel with a situation in my life and not the whole picture? What I love about inversions is that they give us the opportunity to "literally" look at things from a different perspective. The longer you stay and focus, shifts start to happen in your life and with other people in your life. So if you're worried about falling out of an inversion, let it happen! Be love and acceptance.

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(From yogajournal.com daily insight)

Inversions such as Pincha Mayurasana (Feathered Peacock Pose) present wonderful opportunities for profound physical and mental transformation, but they're also rife with obstacles. Begin by simply noticing the obstacles that keep you from going upside down easily. When you acknowledge these blocks, you have something to work with, and a pathway to new possibilities reveals itself. You can nudge things along by cultivating meditative awareness and breaking inversions down into smaller, easier steps. This makes the goal of "perfection" less important; instead, you can work creatively and enjoy the journey, no matter how long it takes.

If the physical aspect is hanging you up, concentrate on your upper body or your abdominal muscles to create the conditions necessary to go upside down. If fear is the problem and it takes hold, fully experience its texture as it arises, stay steady as those feelings move through you, and observe how they naturally dissolve.


IN THIS ISSUE
Pincha Mayurasana (Feathered Peacock Pose)

http://www.yogajournal.com/poses/1711
This Side Up: Building a Forearm Balance

http://www.yogajournal.com/practice/1775

Forgive Yourself

(From yogajournal.com daily insight)

Most religious traditions place high value on apology, forgiveness, and making amends. Yoga teaching, too, speaks to the importance of dealing ethically with others. The concept of karma tells us, in part, that our actions will come back to us. Karma yoga is the practice of selflessly putting ourselves in service to others, and part of this is trying to right the wrongs we have done.

But how do we make amends if our apologies are rejected? In the sacred Hindu text the Bhagavad Gita, the god Krishna tells the yogi Arjuna that it is a mistake to focus on the results of our efforts instead of on the efforts themselves: "The man who is devoted and not attached to the fruit of his actions obtains tranquility." Put simply, the crucial point in apology is not that you're successful but that you make the effort.

Kelly McGonigal, who teaches yoga and is a research psychologist at Stanford University, offers a four-step practice rooted in Tibetan Buddhist philosophy that can take us through the process of making amends. "First," she says, "recognize that you've done something that caused suffering or harm. Second, sit with the feeling of remorse and regret. Feel it in your body, and experience the emotions. Don't push them away or wallow in them." The third step, McGonigal says, is moving into a place of compassion for yourself as well as the person you harmed. Fueled by those compassionate feelings, we can move to the final step of setting an intention toward positive action.

IN THIS ISSUE
Forgive Yourself

http://www.yogajournal.com/wisdom/2413
Do Yoga, Do Good

http://www.yogajournal.com/wisdom/1492

My Practice #2

As I'm able to find more opps to practice, I've realized how much my practice has changed since I've gotten older. I started practicing yoga almost 10 years ago and my body has definitely changed! Of course I've been aware of this new neck "project" going on, just when I feel it's going away, I turn around and do something to aggravate it. Now I just don't do those things, even though I enjoy them. For instance, I can't keep my neck in full flexion for too long these days. So shoulderstand is out of the question (one of my favorites!). also setu bandha (bride). Although I managed to practice my back bends on Saturday, it bothered me that I couldn't do setu bandha for too long. Back bends are one of my favorites, or maybe my all time favorite poses in yoga. So as I write this entry, I'm starting to believe maybe this is an opportunity to practice some other poses that I've neglected? Like the ones I don't enjoy but I know that have amazing benefits? The ones I know I don't practice enough are: twists, forward bends and hip openers; mostly the seated ones.

This is great stuff to discover! Something to share with my students and clients.

My schedule speaks to me

In recent times, I've always jammed my schedule with as much as possible. Why? For many reasons, for which I don't want to go into and have mentioned in other blog entries. Well now it's like my body and mind are speaking to me every time I considering adding this or that, and they say, "Liz, what are you doing? You have massage school and it's a lot of time and commitment. What is your commitment?". These are the questions that came to me as I drove home last night from my yoga client's house after a session. It dawned on me that after giving up my Monday nite yoga class for more "time" in my life, I had to move my private yoga sessions to Monday because massage classes were starting on Tuesdays again! Aaaaahhhh!

So instead of the usual pondering I did in the past, "Oh but I feel bad if I quit", "I'm letting myself and others down". Blah, blah, BLAH! I automatically made the decision that I'm dropping my other group yoga class on Wednesdays (which in ways I don't know why I picked up, but do know at the same time). I feel I'm in this really Zen place these days. Very present and clear about what I want. Before I know it, it comes to me! I don't judge myself or beat myself up about it. That's the way it is and that's cool! I already took the class out of my calendar and I haven't even told them yet, which says a lot about letting go (that's HUGE for me). So I want to acknowledge myself for taking control of my life and choices to better serve my health and well-being. It's so vital to me at this point in my life as I enter my thirties. I want my thirties to be vibrant, shiny, energized and full of joy and community. It feels great and I'm going with that.

My Practice

I thought I would journal about my personal yoga practices for my own growth and to share for others who are on their own path.

Last night I practiced for an hour. I started with some Yin yoga to loosen and juice up the joints and connective tissues--butterfly, saddle, seal/sphinx, child's & shoelace pose. What I love about Yin yoga is the holding of the poses and the meditative state that emerges within. Also the breath becomes, almost hypnotic. Then I moved into a more Yang (active) practice--sun salutations, standing poses. It was when I got to the floor that things started to happen. I decided to do some seated twists. A week ago I had some energy work done and I had a lot of blockage in my spleen area. The energy work, of course helped release this and I did process with the practitioner afterward. However, as I was twisting to my left (toward the spleen) I started feeling agitated and antsy. I thought this should be more associated on the right side since that's where the liver resides and is connected more with anger according to Chinese Medicine. So I decided to lay down with my feet on the floor and just be with the sensations and emotions which shifted to sadness. This made more sense to me, as in my energy session I released with a lot of tears and feelings of sadness. I know I have a lot of emotional stuff hanging out in my abdominal so I know it's connected to the sadness.

I really want to investigate this more with myself as I go deeper in my yoga practice. I love how yoga gives you an opportunity to get to know yourself.

Take Change in Stride

As I continue to work on my feet, I have to ask myself if I'm willing to allow change. For now, it's looking at the shoes I wear. are they serving me? are they impeding on my healing? Change is something I've either consciously and unconsciously embraced throughout my life. It's more conscious as I want to experience these shifts more and be present. It can be such a whirlwind of emotions and thoughts, both fun and not fun. So here I go into the unknown!

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(From yogajournal.com daily insight)

Part of the philosophy of yoga is that we can't always change the world around us. No matter what we do, bad things will happen and stressful situations will arise. The only thing we have control over—the only thing we can change—is ourselves. We can decide how to react to situations that challenge us. Will we allow them to throw us off center, or will we take them in stride?

Yoga teaches us how to respond to stress patiently. We must experience the physical challenge of the postures without fear, and use deep, calm breaths to move through them. If we can take that lesson off the mat and into our daily lives, we will move closer to the goal of responding to stress in a careful and considered way.



IN THIS ISSUE
Return to Stillness
http://www.yogajournal.com/wisdom/459

I am 10 years old again

So I had my birthday yesterday which was weird but also fun because EVERYONE should have fun on their birthday. It all started on Monday when I found out that a group of coworkers were taking out another coworker for lunch on her birthday which was the same day as mine. This rattled me because I work with these people too! I decided to email one of them very non-chalantly that it was my birthday too. No response. So I found myself as 10 years old again feeling left out and distraught. When my actual birthday came, I received lots of acknowledge from so many people (some being the coworkers) I decided to shift my attention to those who I didn't work with and feel the joy and love. It stayed for a bit....

But something kept eating at me about it. I know it triggered me deeply but it was also felt on the surface as well. I was having a lot of mind chatter. It was so loud I wanted to bang my head against the wall. I felt those emotions and let them flow. I can't just pretend that everything is okay. I did that for so many years and it's just not me anymore. It's like some people create this iron gate around themselves but are completely unaware of it. That's how I feel about these coworkers. It's like they haven't a clue that this could've hurt my feelings. That not even acknowledgment about it the fact that they forgot about me, yet I could feel that they knew what they did, but they just couldn't fess up to it that they fucked up. Thanks for the "Happy Birthday" but how about, "Happy Birthday and we're sorry we didn't invite you to lunch with us. Our bad!". Then I wouldn't have cared so much.

I feel like I've gone way too much into it, but for heaven's sake, IT'S MY BIRTHDAY! No one should feel dissed, left out or feeling like shit on their birthday. I always make it a point to say it, text it, email it, channel it, or whatever to that person.

This morning those feelings were still there but not as intense. It was hard to come to work and actually be friendly to ANYONE for that matter. It's definitely passed now but it still feels shitty. It's like being in elementary, middle and high school all over again! Come on, people, grow up!

Sit Safely

As I just got back from traveling on a plane, I found this article very useful. I do try to move around on a plane, but sometimes not. of course it's hard on really crowded, small plans, I may even want to try just a standing forward bend if I can't stretch out enough for Warrior I. I guess it's good to keep in mind if you're a flight attendant or business traveler.

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(From yogajournal.com daily insight)

Air travel may be more than just uncomfortable; it could be the cause of a serious medical condition referred to as deep vein thrombosis (DVT). DVT occurs after periods of prolonged immobility when a blood clot—usually formed in the lower leg, but sometimes beginning in the thigh or pelvis—blocks a major vein. Typically, such a clot dissolves once a traveler reaches his or her destination and walks around.

The good news is that simple movements found in some yoga postures can prevent a clot from forming. Any pose that stretches the calves, hips, and hamstrings can be beneficial by helping keep blood properly circulating in the legs.

Try this: Place your left foot on your right thigh and your right foot flat on the floor. Lean forward for a modified forward bend to stretch the hamstrings as well as open the hips and release the back. Switch leg positions and repeat.

Of course, the best way to prevent DVT is to move around as often as possible. If it's OK to get out of your seat, you can usually find room near the back of the plane for poses like Uttanasana (Standing Forward Bend) and Virabhadrasana I (Warrior Pose I)—both of which stretch your legs and help keep DVT from arriving at your destination.

IN THIS ISSUE
Flight Risk

http://www.yogajournal.com/health/1016
Uttanasana (Standing Forward Bend)

http://www.yogajournal.com/poses/478
Virabhadrasana I (Warrior I Pose)

http://www.yogajournal.com/poses/1708

Chicago, best friends, alcohol

What a great weekend and mix! I have to say it's an expensive city but really fun and lots to do. For my b-day, my hubby bought us tix to fly to Chicago to see my best, homegirls from college. One lives there w/ her hubby (Jeanette and Eric) and the other flew out from DC (Makenzie). It reminds me of Boston with all the old, brick buildings and diagonal streets. Also the bars have that local, old town feel as well, but with beer gardens galore. I was also amazed at how Lake Michigan looked so clean and bright (at least that's what I saw).

Friday we walked sooo much but the weather was perfect for it. Then drinks, eats and more drinks. Saturday was a rainy in the morning, but brunch made up for it at Bongo Bongo. Hangover cure: Mimosa and strawberry "short-cake" pancakes with chicken sausage. Then off to shopping for the girls while the boys went to wrigley field. 5pm drinks and apps ending in a freakin' $300 bill! Ooops! Didn't realize that glass of wine was $15, margarita $11, etc, etc.....Cheap evening of beer and cocktails and bbq. Chillin on the back deck and eavesdropping on the party across the way. We were very close to crashing it but we got a little too drunk and lazy to walk across the street, "Shit, we're gettin' old!". Sunday breakfast was the perfect start: Chicago-style, deep dish pizza! We figured us visitors had to experience it before we left. Yummy!

It was such a fun weekend, it went by WAY too fast. But seeing my homegirls again was amazing. It's like none of us have changed but we have in our own ways. We accept each other no matter what and we've always have. I think I'm just realizing that now. Next trip is going to DC and hitting the town with Makenzie in her 'hood. Good times :-)

Feet

Feet are my new passion in life. Well, at the moment, my own feet. I had my first weekend of Structural Foot Balancing class and I have to say it open my eyes! I knew that when we have foot problems it can affect the rest of the body, but not the other way around. With the help of my fellow students, I found so much more space, circulation and relief in my feet. Tingling, pulsing, breathing!

On my right foot, I broke part of my big toe when I was about 10 years old at a slumber party. The cracks and creeks that occurred were indescribable. It was like a new foot was emerging. I guess you can say I'm having "re"-growing pains ;-) I just can't believe that the bones in my feet were that crunched and squished together!

I feel pretty committed to my feet now. I'm thinking of the shoes I wear and how I feel/think about my feet. In the past, I used to think I had ugly, flat, narrow feet. I'm totally re-thinking how I treat my feet and the shoes I put on them. I want to share this foot stuff with others and I hope to inspire them to love and care for their feet.

Find Another Use for Your Phone

This is hilarious. Of all things to assist in meditation practices, you think a phone would be something you turn off and forget about. I'm totally going to try this!

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(From yogajournal.com daily insight)


Often, we instinctively categorize experiences or things as either "good" or "bad." We imagine those qualities adhere in the thing itself. But sometimes, it is our approach to those things that creates their value.

Take, for example, your telephone. Few of us would suggest that a telephone would be helpful to a meditation practice. But if we change our relationship to the telephone, we change its meaning into something more positive, beneficial, and relaxing.

Don't let the telephone be one more stressor. Just as Buddhist monks use temple bells to remind themselves to come back to the present moment, let a ringing telephone be a signal to stop and center yourself. Practice "telephone meditation" by never diving for the phone on the first ring. Instead, when you hear the phone ring, stop what you're doing, breathe deeply and smile. Then answer the phone on the second or third ring.



IN THIS ISSUE
Life Dancing
http://www.yogajournal.com/wisdom/446


Mindful Nature Walking (One Step at a Time)
http://www.yogajournal.com/practice/773

Find Contentment

I find this so true with my life and what I see in others. For instance, my money projects have definitely gotten me down and I'm in the middle of one again. But I'm so aware now of how I get around money, it's really no big deal anymore, because I know now that it's going to be okay. I direct my attention to what brings me joy in my life--my husband, family, my cats, massage school. Yes! I would rather go with joy. It feels better and is more in alignment with who I truly am.

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(From yogajournal.com daily insight)


Yoga is much more than a physical practice. It is also a philosophy about the way we should live. According to yogic philosophy, we cause ourselves pain by desiring things we don't have, but think that we need. In other words, we hurt ourselves by yearning after what's out of reach.

Santosa is a niyama, or guiding principle of yoga. This principle encourages us to develop contentment. It prescribes the merit of striving to be grateful for what we have rather than yearning for new and different things. The word "santosa" is also sometimes translated as happiness, because, by finding contentment with what we have, we also find joy, relaxation, and peace.

You can practice santosa in all aspects of your life-toward your family, friends, and your career.



IN THIS ISSUE
Cultivate Your Connections
http://www.yogajournal.com/wisdom/455

The time has come

I feel ease and space in my body. I feel in alignment with what I want. I have started to clear my schedule and make time for what's important to me. It was hard and it took some time but it's happening because it NEEDED to happen.

I'm going to take a little hiatus from teaching yoga in order to pursue my career training as a massage therapist. It dawned on me this past weekend why I can't find time to practice and trade with my fellow classmates. I work full time, go to massage school and teach yoga. What about me? Once I made the decision, it was like a HUGE space cleared in my chest and abdomen. I even got someone to take over the class for me! So I know it's for the best. In the past, I used to just stick with things no matter what. Then I would get burnt out and physically ill. It was a way of my body saying, "You're doing too much!" "Stop it now!". As I get older, I can't ignore it anymore. I'm also not 21 or 25 anymore either. I want my thirties to be rich with knowledge and presence. I want to experience my massage training and career. I will always be able to teach yoga because it's a passion of mine that I've been practicing for almost 10 years! Sometimes we need to slow some things down when new possibilites come into our lives.

I'm so happy that I'm manifesting what I want and can feel, see and taste it.

What's the Rush?

Seriously, what IS the rush? This rings so true for me and sometimes it's more intense on different occasions. It's something I teach in my yoga classes, yet I find myself not even practicing it at times. But then again, who's perfect? This has been an ongoing issue with me and I really delved into it last week in therapy (I know I posted it in a previous blog entry). This week I've been cutting myself some slack; being more compassionate and understanding towards myself in regards to time and getting things done. If I can acknowlegde myself for getting one thing done, I feel great! Instead of saying, "I didn't do enough" or "I just wasted so much time". Please! I've gotta lot going in my life at the moment and it's things that I love to do, so there! If people were a little easier on themselves about time and their to-do lists there would be more room for joy and ease in their lives.

I know people have kids and families to tend to and I'm fortunate at this point in my life not to have any kids. If I did, it would be a totally different ball game. But this is the way it is and I just take baby steps. One thing at a time. My mom would say that to me when I was younger and I totally didn't know what she was talking about. Then I got older and I was like how do I do that?!

It takes years but I feel like it's slowing coming into play. I've recognized the importance of "me" time and self-care. I can wind down for at least 5 minutes here and there, maybe longer if I'm lucky. When I get those longer moments, I bask in them like I'm on a sunny beach in Hawaii.

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(From yogajournal.com daily insight)

Most of us are judged in life by how quickly we can get things done. Because of this, it's hard to develop the opposite mindset: one of slowing down, getting centered, and relaxing.

Many yoga classes start with a transitional period between public life and the privacy of the practice. In this period, students can simply build awareness of their own breath in order to prepare mentally, physically, and spiritually for practice. For some students, this process of slowing down is extremely difficult. Continually rushing from one activity to the next, many people are used to being hurried and impatient, so much so that it's almost impossible to relax.

If this is true for you, ask yourself: Am I rushing because I'm under stress or am I under stress because I'm rushing? Is it always necessary to hurry so much? Would you be able to run your life just as effectively at a slower pace? If so, take some small steps to slow it down, one day at a time.



IN THIS ISSUE
Being vs. Doing
http://www.yogajournal.com/wisdom/723


In the Zone
http://www.yogajournal.com/lifestyle/199

Find Balance in Opposition

This also refers to Yin and Yang which is about balance. I love how it's all connected!

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(From yogajournal.com daily insight)



When we think of yoga in the West, we are generally referring to hatha yoga, which is only one branch in the larger system of yoga. Hatha yoga is the branch of yoga that focuses primarily on work in the physical body through postures and breathing exercises.

The word hatha is comprised of two parts: Ha, which means sun, and Tha, which means moon. It's no accident that the sun and moon are basically opposites, because hatha yoga is all about balancing and uniting opposites. For example, the practice involves joining the opposing energies of warming and cooling, of activity and surrender.

In more specific terms, all balance is created by opposition. If you're balancing on one leg, you need to press your standing foot into the floor as you lift your head up toward the ceiling. If you lift up without pressing down, you'll lose your balance and topple over.



IN THIS ISSUE
Count on Yoga: 38 Ways Yoga Helps Keep You Fit
http://www.yogajournal.com/health/1634


Plumb Perfect
http://www.yogajournal.com/practice/1242

Anywhere

When I get the chance, I will share a video of the work I'm writing about in this blog entry. This past weekend I performed in the Bare Bones Butoh Presents performance series curated by Bob Webb in San Francisco. Since 2005, I've been participating in this series which gives butoh/performance artists a chance to try stuff out, present works in progress or parts of a bigger piece.

This time I was feeling very adventurous and decided to improv some work. I invited my friend, Deborah of KitsuneButoh to play, as I did with her in her piece. Since my piece was entitled, "Anywhere", I began my dance in the hallway of the building. My intention for the improv was to investigate what happens when another butoh body enters the space/environment as the dance occurs.In a past blog, I shared about dancing in other environments, mostly in the outdoors. But this time was super fun because it's a live-work space so there were people/tenants coming in and out as I moved down the hallways towards the performance space. The only sound I had in the hallway was me, the various generators in the building and the sounds of tenants coming in and out of their space. Of course the audience was there as well. Deborah followed me as a shadow does in different lighting, but with some distance between us. No real contact, but more energetically. It was amazing how I sensed another body's presence even though I couldn't see it. As I viewed the footage, my reactions of this body was interesting because it looked at times as if it was choreographed that way. Since I invited her beforehand, there was no way of knowing when it was going to happen. I experienced this when dancing outdoors in a public space where people got close to me and I felt vulnerable and unsure, but of course, continued with that feeling and the movement to see the manifestation.

As I danced through the audience, I could feel all eyes and energy on me. Then something unexpected occurred at such the right moment. A tenant came out of his apt as I paused in front of it. He froze as I did and as Deborah did too. The reaction was perfect. He continued to lock up and walk down the hallway to leave the building. I don't know what happened. A nonverbal acknowledgment? We continued in the hallway and I went on into the performance stage area to continue.

I'll post the video soon. It was lots of fun!

Neck and Shoulder Projects

I have been doing my best to not get down or negative about it. But I did something to my left neck and shoulder area. There's definitely some space to create there I just seem to diminish it. A few weeks back, I was at the gym doing arm stuff and it started after that. Then I got a massage that day and I feel like it made it worse. However, within a week, the inflammation starts to go down. But when I do arm stuff at the gym that seems to aggravate it.

So I'm thinking that I need to lay off the arm stuff because it's possible I did something incorrect with the weights.

However, being a Holistic Health Practitioner, I know there's "other" stuff going on. Some old, buried emotions and traumas that aren't serving me anymore. I got some support from friends and colleagues about it and even my therapist. We did an exercise around this project and I had a release in our session. I realize how hard it is to really love myself and be gentle with myself around time. I've always had stuff going on in my 3rd and 4th chakras (solar plexus and heart chakras). Feelings of powerlessness around time and anger toward myself. Lately, I've just been feeling like there's not enough time or I'm not giving time to myself. It's like I've forgotten. Then I feel like I have to rush to get somewhere, even though I know for a fact I have hours to get there or do it.

After we did this exercise, I felt more space in that area and throughout my body. It's like my circulatory system undid a clog! I'm taking an anti-inflammatory during the day at least to help me through the day, but I don't like taking those things for too long. I may go to my acupuncturist and see what he says.

Also being a yoga teacher can put some strain on it, but I've chosen to not practice many arm weight-bearing poses for a couple weeks. Maybe some gentle stretches to release whatever's going on there. I'm just working on giving the area as much love as possible. And love to myself.

Thinking about Not Thinking?

Once again a kick-ass read! :-)


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(From yogajournal.com daily insight)

The capacity to think is an essential element of our lives. We need to plan, make decisions, and communicate. The problem is not that we think during meditation, but that our thinking is fixed. Rather than eliminating thinking, one of the basic skills to develop in meditation is to be able to hold and sustain contradictory thoughts—calming the impulse to eliminate the opposition. It's important to keep in mind that the goal is not to eliminate your thinking. Always be mindful that you and your thoughts are aiming to discover engaging, creative, enjoyable ways to meditate—as well as ways to live, awaken, and benefit each other. Think of your thinking not as an adversary but as a spiritual friend.



IN THIS ISSUE
Thoughts on Thinking
http://www.yogajournal.com/practice/587